verve, thank u 4 the update, and i will be following your progress, as it mirrors that which I would like to start soon as well. However, if I am not too presumptuous, may i offer my (admitedly) unsolicited comment on your Hicksian quotation. When u say, that you can do everything as well but it's not worth the fucking effort, it belies a certain evasiveness, evidenced by the use of the obscenity. Obscenity usually denotes lack of confidence, or in the complete breakdown of dignity, a submergence into sarcasm, the language of the fool. Here it appears as merely an excuse to stay unabled and paralyzed to do those things that can bring about change. After all, you drive when you're stoned. So that's worth the effort. Is being a "winner" an unnecessary effort, or is being a wiener? That is the Zen question.