The UK Growers Thread!

dura72

Well-Known Member
Vanish- 'The UK's Number 1 Stain Remover'

Is there a number 2 stain remover? My boxer shorts are absolutely fucked.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
I broke up with my girlfriend after she lost an eye in a car accident.

"I had no idea you were so shallow," she said.

"What the fuck would you know? You don't have any depth perception."
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
I'm all ready for Halloween. My Gary Glitter costume came this morning.. it's a bit small though, looks like its for fucking kids!
 

supersillybilly

Well-Known Member
Wits happening guys. U not go to Uni the day Dura???? Weather is real bad here. I am without a grow and a bit lost. Been phoning my m8's and asking to come round to see theirs and feed, trim and do general shit in their garden. All of them are saying they have it covered.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
Wits happening guys. U not go to Uni the day Dura???? Weather is real bad here. I am without a grow and a bit lost. Been phoning my m8's and asking to come round to see theirs and feed, trim and do general shit in their garden. All of them are saying they have it covered.
when ah went out tae get the bus earlier the fuckin rain was stoatin aff the pavement, the roasd were runnin like the clyde so ah jist said fuck that and went hame, apparently theres a load of roads shut because o it so ah thought ahm no gettin fuckin stranded in central station for the night. ah went tae Asda tae get ma dinner and there carpark was over a foot deep in water because a local river had burst its bank. the council had just spent 1/4 million buildind flood barriers at it. so jist a quiet nite in front o the box for me. thats 11 days sober. ahm fuckin scunnerd.
 

supersillybilly

Well-Known Member
U wanna go on the razz the mora???? Fucking pishing down here too, real bad. Going to a H'ween party on Sat as the Pope(its in Kilwinning too.lol)
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
U wanna go on the razz the mora???? Fucking pishing down here too, real bad. Going to a H'ween party on Sat as the Pope(its in Kilwinning too.lol)
ah canny mate ahm still on the ant-abuse pills. im for the full flowering time aff it. need to get cash the gither for chrimbo. if your up for it we can get a drink ower the festive season.
 

supersillybilly

Well-Known Member
Aye defo m8. Im nearly finished wae that Shaun Ryder book. U wanting it. Might take a bounce up to see you to kill a day. Twiddling my thumbs the now
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
aye mate, just bring it up when your coming. ahm jist lounging about this week anyway. need to get two essays done but ahve over a month before they need handed in.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
ma birds been nippin ma nut for over 2 years about gettin married, ah think ahm jist gaun tae get her an egagement ring for chrimbo, its huts them up for acpl o years. this'll be the third or fourth time av been engaged ah think.
 
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