A question for all the parents...

My wife and I are the proud parents of an amazing 3 1/2 year old...we have just entered into the phase of who?what?when?where?why?how come?..and so on...We also love growing and smoking...We have always made the effort to be as open and honest with our child as we can be for the age bracket we are dealing with, and want to continue to do so...So we want to ask all the other parents this: How do you deal with the growing and smoking when it comes to your kids?
It is next to impossible to keep the grow a secret from our child, and as I spend a little time each day "tending to the crop", the level of curiousity continues to grow...how involved are your kids in the whole deal....We never smoke in front of our child, so thats not an issue at this age, but as time flys it surely will be...If your kids do know, when and how did you tell them? Are there any fears of what they will tell their friends if they know?
Looking for some advice.......

i have a 12 year old son. this is an easy one. HONESTY. from day one. do not hide anything. be fully honest with your children. educate them on ALL aspects of what you are involved in. do not get them involved. set boundaries. i have explained the medical side and the recreational side. the rights and wrongs. he understands. he's 12 and has yet to sneak behind the wood shed so i think so far we are doing well. there will come a day when his buddies will pull him aside. at that time he will have already been exposed and educated. there will be no "dude it makes you feel good. you will be cool.....". he will have already have made an educated decision.



credit: my wife and son helped with this answer.

I don't hide anything from my children.....I have 3 6,4 and 1. I just feel by hiding things from then, that is gonna lead them to believe it's wrong....I grew up in a family where marijuana was accepted......I don't believe I am a bad parent at all, they simply know what marijuana is as "Daddy's Medecine" If my kids choose to smoke marijuana at a age where they know what it is, so be it......There is absolutely nothing wrong with marijuana, when we question it like we are right know, In my opinion it's giving it a bad name or at least making it look like it's wrong.....MY kids are around it all the time and I have no problem with that....They don't even make a big deal about it because I've never kept it from them to begin with...It is nothing more to them as say eating food, or watching tv. I don't regret any of the decisions I made.

FDD and Zeke, thank you very much!! Those were the responses we hoped for....we plan on taking the same approach with our child...we still have a few more years before it really becomes an issue, but WE need as much practice being parents until then....Neither one of us do any drugs whatsoever, and I dont even drink, thats not to say that I havent in the past, but somewhere around 30 I grew up and left all those buillshit chemicals alone...My parents NEVER talked to me about drugs or drinking, hence my first experience with booze and coke started around 13...then one day in my late 20s I woke up in the hospital with tubes hanging out of me and a doctor telling that according to my toxicology report I should have been dead...Cant imagine my beautiful child ever going through that...

Yeah, I totally understand where you are coming from.

I have a 5 year old girl. We grow and smoke weed. As for her knowing what it is, she doesn't. She asked what the plants are and we say plants.Cause we all know how kids like to tell stories to thier friends about what happens at home.
We know this first hand. My hubby got a speeing ticket and the next day everyone knew. So to we just don't smoke around her and we keep her away from the plants. Right now I believe what she doesn't see or hear won't hurt her. When the time comes (within a couple of years or so) We will address the issue. I don't want to be a hypocrite and tell her that she can't do it. I want to be there for her and let her know about it all before she has to make that choice. I would much rather her smokng it in her own home, than on the street or in a car to get busted. Same goes for alcohol. My parents were very open and I believe that helps huge. Just be open and honest with yourself and your kids. I don't see myself never smoking weed again, therefore my kids are going to have to know what it is.

Here's a question for you, what do you tell your son about mr.police officer man who comes in for a DARE assembly and tells your child that people who do drugs are evil. Or that MJ is bad? I tried to explain to my girlfriends 11 year old that it was not so bad and that the police officer is only doing his job but that they are human too and are not always honest. I also told him to respect his teachers and elders but to question everything, 11 year olds do that anyway. I'm stuck on this one.

I haven't had to deal with that yet, but when it does come up, Im sure I will be ready

My hubby is a Paramedic and Aux. Cop. He knows what they tell the kids. He has to tell them himself in classrooms and stuff. I know, very hypocitical eh?
When the time comes I will expalin the other side of things. My daughter has comed to learn there is always 2 sides to every story. We will have to show her the other side (our side), then she can make her own choice. That is all I know to do. Give her the tools for life and be there for her.

Gygax1974 said:

Here's a question for you, what do you tell your son about mr.police officer man who comes in for a DARE assembly and tells your child that people who do drugs are evil. Or that marijuana is bad? I tried to explain to my girlfriends 11 year old that it was not so bad and that the police officer is only doing his job but that they are human too and are not always honest. I also told him to respect his teachers and elders but to question everything, 11 year olds do that anyway. I'm stuck on this one.

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I no longer have to worry about it, my girlfriend and I split but it was a question I didn't know how to answer at the time and this thread reminded me of it. I also shouldn't have said the cop said evil more along the lines of bad/criminal. That's a tough question to answer I agree. I also understand what the officer was trying to to do and I appreciate it for the most part, but to continue the MJ is criminal and bad for you is OLD and NOT TRUE.

this is why we have educated my son from day one. he already knows the truth. when time comes for the school assembly he will quietly snicker to himself. we have already discussed it at home.

Chiceh said:

My hubby is a Paramedic and Aux. Cop. He knows what they tell the kids. He has to tell them himself in classrooms and stuff. I know, very hypocitical eh?
When the time comes I will expalin the other side of things. My daughter has comed to learn there is always 2 sides to every story. We will have to show her the other side (our side), then she can make her own choice. That is all I know to do. Give her the tools for life and be there for her.

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i'm not a parent, but i do think i can add somethign here. i live at home still, before i find a job that can support me on my own, and my mom still adamantly denies ever doing drugs, or even drinking illegally. this is tricky ground, because when my brother got caught with his plant, my dad fired a question at her (You're saying you never smoked weed?)...to which she hesitantly replied "Twice". Now i know she was lying, and she still won't come clean.

this, however, has no effect on my views towards marijuana and drugs in general. i'm prepared to debate calmly with her if she ever catches me, and i know my dad knows, he just ignores it as long as i don't do anything stupid (he's seen me putting my stuff away, smelled the smell in the room, etc.)

anyways, i geuss all i'm really trying to say is that there are even more than two sides to every issue. so be careful about trying to hold your ground and do things "the right way". every kid is different, and must learn things differently. you're the best judge of what's right for your kid to know about your doings at that young an age, and just make sure you're careful about things. be open to their views too, especially if they contradict yours. and by god, just be sure to give them the information (from both extremes and from the middle ground) and a choice. forcing them to be a certain way will only backfire if they didn't choose it themselves. it all comes down to choice.


(oh, and by all means, be persuasive for your side. just remember you can't force them to choose a certain way.)

That is all a parent can do do. Show you child everything and let them decide. Make them aware of it all out there. Be there for them, let them know they can tell you anything and you do the same. Answer their questions to best of your ability. Be honest and show them all sides to the stories they hear and see. Give your child every oppoutnity to make the best choices.

i'm not a parent but you have to careful. first impressions are incredibly powerful in influencing how we perceive thing and the DARE program is being introduced earlier and earlier. which means you can't wait too long before talking to your kids

i used to lay my head on my wifes' stomach and talk to my son before he was born. not about drugs but you get the idea. we communicate.

and besides that......drugs are everywhere...wouldn't you (parents) rather be the one to educate your children rather then them learning from kids, books, or whatever other source they may see it.......my kids are still kinda young for them to really understand but Im sure as time goes on they will become more daware of what drugs really are...And exactly like FDD had said earlier....My kids are gonna choose to do something because they want too, not because everyone else does it, it's cool etc....at least this is how I raise them....but in all honesty they are gonna make their own decisions when they get older, it's as simple as that....you can only do you're best and Im sure in the long run your kids will look back at it one day and say " you know what, mY mom or dad or both...were awsome people, they will respect you more...which in my head would give them even a better reason to not use drugs....but by hiding it from them makes matter worse....

my boys are 11 and 9,,i kinda got a jist of what I'm gonna say,,but work well under pressure,,so I will wing it a bit,,but the time grows close I know,,they have never seen it or me smoke or plants,,yet!!!

Keep on Growin

HoLE

It all depends on the legality of where you live, here I plan to keep it a secret for the next year or so after that I will have to stop, my daughter is at an age where she is starting to understand so I don't have much time left. It's not about her knowing because to me its just a plant and it causes no harm but if she went to school or playgroup and said something it could prove troublesome.

Yeah thats a good point, I can undertstand what you're saying

that's a good point. how do you talk to your kids to give them most accurate view possible and be honest about what you do without putting your family in legal danger?

My question: do you wait for your kids' teachers to talk about drugs and talk to your kids afterwards? risking them having a warped image and perhaps misconception about cannabis.

OR

Do you talk to them early so the when their teachers to talk to your kids about drugs they'll already have an understanding? risking them asking potentially dangerous questions?