Ok, I am going to cheat and use my inlaws, my family is really pretty normal and have never had any issues like these.
So my crazy story takes place on a vacation to Mexico with my inlaws. My wife and I had just come back from Mexico but her parents were planning a trip and really didn't have a lot of money so we knew this would be the last for a long time. At this time my mother in law and father in law were having a lot of problems mostly because of my father in laws constant emotional abuse to the entire family. He would walk in and see that one of the kids had their shoes in the floor and scream about how stupid and disorganized that kid was and how they were never going to amount to anything, he did this on a daily basis. My wife and her mother took the brunt of it while she lived there and when we got married it shifted to her little brother.
My wife just bottled it up which to this day still causes her issues and she hates her father for destroying her family. He little brother handled it with substance abuse. He would take anything he could get his hands on to alter his state of mind, being in a small town most of the time that was weed. Before the trip he really wasn't THAT into it. I mean his sister found some weed in his room once and went to her mom crying about how her brother was a "drug addict" (it was a very "moral" household) and he quit for a while.
So we went over there one night after we got back from Cabo to hear about the trip. It was at an all inclusive resort and we had the cash at the time and both of us could get off so we figured why the hell not. It was me, my wife, her mom, dad, brother and sister and then another family that had kids the same age as the inlaws.
So we get to the resort and everything is going great, we are all having fun and everyone is stearing clear of my father in law because he is an all around asshole. I hung out with the boys (16-17 and I was 22) since I hated my FIL and had more in common with them. We had fun, I ordered them shots and we drank a lot. Well the 2nd to the last night I hung out with the friend of the family's dad and got SHITTY drunk. I didn't remember anything and yacked in the tub when I got back. That being said I am a present drunk and my wife's little sister and her friend said I was just acting goofy. So of course my wife is about ready to die with same because her dumb ass husband is an alchy. I promise not to drink the rest of the trip (one more night) and all was well.
So the next day the 2 men went off to do their own thing, the boys went into town and all the women and me hung out. We had a dinner reservation and so we all headed back to the rooms pretty early 4ish. We all got back to find the 2 boys drunk as hell. My brother in law was like on the verge of passing out and the other boy was tossing cookies. The moms were mad because they didn't want their sons drinking at all and the dads were still out. A few minutes later the dad show up almost equally as drunk and BOTH start fist fights with their sons. Both dads happen to have about 60+ pounds on the boys. My room is across the hall from my inlaws and the door is open so I see my father in law go from yelling at his semi conscious son to throwing the first punch. My mother in law scream and tries to pull him off as my wife runs to the other room to help. I start over there because I know that I am going to have to do something if he hits one of the women (would involve something heavy and his head.) Now here in the states I would have beat the shit out of him with a bat, but we were in Mexico and I had no desire to spend the night in a Cancun jail.
So they manage to get dad off his son and out of the room, I get the girls (my wife, her sister and the other little girl) into my room and get the door locked. With both doors locked her dad is beating on the door and screaming "LET ME THE FUCK IN, I PAID FOR THIS YOU FUCKING BITCH." I knew he was way too drunk to be rational but with the design of the hotel everyone around could hear and see what was going on. Sure enough security comes up to see WTF is going on and MIL lets him back in. By this time most of the fight has worn off (so we think). About half an hour later I hear banging and crashing in the room and half an hour after that security is back. FIL leaves the room to "cool off". He comes back in an hour or so and passes out on the bed. A few minutes later my MIL calls our room and says she needs to talk to me. She says her son bought somthing in town and she needs to know what it is. She comes over and in the bathroom shows me a bottle that looks like aspirin with some bud and pills in it. Of course the label is in Spanish and I know I DO NOT want to be in posetion of marijuana in Mexico. About this time security is back and knocking on my door. I flush the pot as fast as I can and leave the pills. I get the door and they are looking for the friend of the family's room (down the hall.)
MIL goes back to her room and I get a call a little later from her saying her son is convulsing and saying he can't breathe. So I go over and he is burning up, I don't know what the fuck he took but want to get him cooled down in case it was X or something. So I get him in the shower and he screams when the cold water hits him saying he is already freezing. At this point I am holding him up in the shower and the door BURSTS open and his dad yacks ALL OVER MY FEET into the tub/shower. He is still WAY out of it and acting like a zombie. My mother in law called the infirmary at the resort to figure out what the bottle was and it turns out its an Ibprofin bottle. The problem is that the bottle holds like 50 pills and there were only about half that in the container. The doctor on call says he will be fine unless he says he can't breathe. About that time he starts saying that.
So they send a little gold cart ambulance and me and my mother in law go with him to the infirmary on the resort. The doc there is afraid he downed half the bottle and wants his stomach pumped which can only be done in Cancun (we were in the Riveria Maya area.) She he needs to be taken by ambulance to Cancun. About this time he says he needs to go to the bathroom so I have to take him in there and pull down his shorts FOR him.
They tell us that in Mexico you have to pay for the ambulance at the end of the ride and it would be about $500. My in laws had filed bankruptcy a year or so before so the only credit card they had was pre-paid. My wife and I on the other hand are young and financially responsible so we have a card with a $4000 limit. So I am thinking I will go back to the room, give her the card and let them go. Oh no, they tell me I have to go so that I can sign for the card. So they operations director of the resort (who was very hot, and very pissed off at my family) takes me back in her golf cart to get my shit and we are off in the Mexican ambulance.
We get to the ER in cancun about 15 min later (he was doing 100+ on the highway) and get him checked in. The doctor sees him and says he wants to pump his stomach. To do this he has to go to ICU and to admit him there they need a credit card authorization for $8000. Of course my card won't do that but they did have a phone there that you could call back to the states for free. So at like 11pm my mother in law is calling her family trying to get a credit card number with $8k on it. Her father in law (asshole's dad) more or less says "nope sorry, we just remodeled the house." I know full well that he had FAR more than that, he was just being a stinjy asshole. My mother in law finally gets her mom to give them their CC number at around midnight.
Our flight home is in about 7 hours. So I call my wife to fill her in and tell her I planned on staying the night in the lobby with her mom and catching a later flight (I REALLY didn't want to because I knew my wife needed me), she reminded me that she had all my immigration paperwork and I could not leave the country without it. My mother in law more or less forces me to get a cab back to the hotel. Funny as it may sound I had one of the best conversations I ever had about international politics in broken English and Spanish with a poor Mexican cab driver on the way back.
I get back and find a security guard posted at our door because apparently the other dad had to have security called 2 more times that night. So I grab a few hours sleep with my poor crying wife (who is trying not to wake up all the kids in our room) on the couch (smaller than a twin bed.)
At around 4am her dad is woken up by her mom calling to let him know what was up and comes over to apologize to everyone. I stop him at the door and more or less tell him to GTFO. So my wife and I travel with her little sister back home and she come over to say with us (I drove the whole family in my dad's excursion I borrowed.) Just as we were pulling into my house my father in law calls and says they managed to catch a flight and were at the airport here in the states and needed a ride. I just about shit a brick but said I would come get them.
The funny part is he knew if he tried to say anything about what happened in the car my wife would tear him a new one so he waited till we stopped for my wife to pee to apologize to me. Of course being the pussy I am, I told him "thats what family is for" knowing full well my mother in law planned on leaving him as soon as financially possible.
So ends one of the many traumatic chapters in my wife's family's history. The question is, can you top it?
So my crazy story takes place on a vacation to Mexico with my inlaws. My wife and I had just come back from Mexico but her parents were planning a trip and really didn't have a lot of money so we knew this would be the last for a long time. At this time my mother in law and father in law were having a lot of problems mostly because of my father in laws constant emotional abuse to the entire family. He would walk in and see that one of the kids had their shoes in the floor and scream about how stupid and disorganized that kid was and how they were never going to amount to anything, he did this on a daily basis. My wife and her mother took the brunt of it while she lived there and when we got married it shifted to her little brother.
My wife just bottled it up which to this day still causes her issues and she hates her father for destroying her family. He little brother handled it with substance abuse. He would take anything he could get his hands on to alter his state of mind, being in a small town most of the time that was weed. Before the trip he really wasn't THAT into it. I mean his sister found some weed in his room once and went to her mom crying about how her brother was a "drug addict" (it was a very "moral" household) and he quit for a while.
So we went over there one night after we got back from Cabo to hear about the trip. It was at an all inclusive resort and we had the cash at the time and both of us could get off so we figured why the hell not. It was me, my wife, her mom, dad, brother and sister and then another family that had kids the same age as the inlaws.
So we get to the resort and everything is going great, we are all having fun and everyone is stearing clear of my father in law because he is an all around asshole. I hung out with the boys (16-17 and I was 22) since I hated my FIL and had more in common with them. We had fun, I ordered them shots and we drank a lot. Well the 2nd to the last night I hung out with the friend of the family's dad and got SHITTY drunk. I didn't remember anything and yacked in the tub when I got back. That being said I am a present drunk and my wife's little sister and her friend said I was just acting goofy. So of course my wife is about ready to die with same because her dumb ass husband is an alchy. I promise not to drink the rest of the trip (one more night) and all was well.
So the next day the 2 men went off to do their own thing, the boys went into town and all the women and me hung out. We had a dinner reservation and so we all headed back to the rooms pretty early 4ish. We all got back to find the 2 boys drunk as hell. My brother in law was like on the verge of passing out and the other boy was tossing cookies. The moms were mad because they didn't want their sons drinking at all and the dads were still out. A few minutes later the dad show up almost equally as drunk and BOTH start fist fights with their sons. Both dads happen to have about 60+ pounds on the boys. My room is across the hall from my inlaws and the door is open so I see my father in law go from yelling at his semi conscious son to throwing the first punch. My mother in law scream and tries to pull him off as my wife runs to the other room to help. I start over there because I know that I am going to have to do something if he hits one of the women (would involve something heavy and his head.) Now here in the states I would have beat the shit out of him with a bat, but we were in Mexico and I had no desire to spend the night in a Cancun jail.
So they manage to get dad off his son and out of the room, I get the girls (my wife, her sister and the other little girl) into my room and get the door locked. With both doors locked her dad is beating on the door and screaming "LET ME THE FUCK IN, I PAID FOR THIS YOU FUCKING BITCH." I knew he was way too drunk to be rational but with the design of the hotel everyone around could hear and see what was going on. Sure enough security comes up to see WTF is going on and MIL lets him back in. By this time most of the fight has worn off (so we think). About half an hour later I hear banging and crashing in the room and half an hour after that security is back. FIL leaves the room to "cool off". He comes back in an hour or so and passes out on the bed. A few minutes later my MIL calls our room and says she needs to talk to me. She says her son bought somthing in town and she needs to know what it is. She comes over and in the bathroom shows me a bottle that looks like aspirin with some bud and pills in it. Of course the label is in Spanish and I know I DO NOT want to be in posetion of marijuana in Mexico. About this time security is back and knocking on my door. I flush the pot as fast as I can and leave the pills. I get the door and they are looking for the friend of the family's room (down the hall.)
MIL goes back to her room and I get a call a little later from her saying her son is convulsing and saying he can't breathe. So I go over and he is burning up, I don't know what the fuck he took but want to get him cooled down in case it was X or something. So I get him in the shower and he screams when the cold water hits him saying he is already freezing. At this point I am holding him up in the shower and the door BURSTS open and his dad yacks ALL OVER MY FEET into the tub/shower. He is still WAY out of it and acting like a zombie. My mother in law called the infirmary at the resort to figure out what the bottle was and it turns out its an Ibprofin bottle. The problem is that the bottle holds like 50 pills and there were only about half that in the container. The doctor on call says he will be fine unless he says he can't breathe. About that time he starts saying that.
So they send a little gold cart ambulance and me and my mother in law go with him to the infirmary on the resort. The doc there is afraid he downed half the bottle and wants his stomach pumped which can only be done in Cancun (we were in the Riveria Maya area.) She he needs to be taken by ambulance to Cancun. About this time he says he needs to go to the bathroom so I have to take him in there and pull down his shorts FOR him.
They tell us that in Mexico you have to pay for the ambulance at the end of the ride and it would be about $500. My in laws had filed bankruptcy a year or so before so the only credit card they had was pre-paid. My wife and I on the other hand are young and financially responsible so we have a card with a $4000 limit. So I am thinking I will go back to the room, give her the card and let them go. Oh no, they tell me I have to go so that I can sign for the card. So they operations director of the resort (who was very hot, and very pissed off at my family) takes me back in her golf cart to get my shit and we are off in the Mexican ambulance.
We get to the ER in cancun about 15 min later (he was doing 100+ on the highway) and get him checked in. The doctor sees him and says he wants to pump his stomach. To do this he has to go to ICU and to admit him there they need a credit card authorization for $8000. Of course my card won't do that but they did have a phone there that you could call back to the states for free. So at like 11pm my mother in law is calling her family trying to get a credit card number with $8k on it. Her father in law (asshole's dad) more or less says "nope sorry, we just remodeled the house." I know full well that he had FAR more than that, he was just being a stinjy asshole. My mother in law finally gets her mom to give them their CC number at around midnight.
Our flight home is in about 7 hours. So I call my wife to fill her in and tell her I planned on staying the night in the lobby with her mom and catching a later flight (I REALLY didn't want to because I knew my wife needed me), she reminded me that she had all my immigration paperwork and I could not leave the country without it. My mother in law more or less forces me to get a cab back to the hotel. Funny as it may sound I had one of the best conversations I ever had about international politics in broken English and Spanish with a poor Mexican cab driver on the way back.
I get back and find a security guard posted at our door because apparently the other dad had to have security called 2 more times that night. So I grab a few hours sleep with my poor crying wife (who is trying not to wake up all the kids in our room) on the couch (smaller than a twin bed.)
At around 4am her dad is woken up by her mom calling to let him know what was up and comes over to apologize to everyone. I stop him at the door and more or less tell him to GTFO. So my wife and I travel with her little sister back home and she come over to say with us (I drove the whole family in my dad's excursion I borrowed.) Just as we were pulling into my house my father in law calls and says they managed to catch a flight and were at the airport here in the states and needed a ride. I just about shit a brick but said I would come get them.
The funny part is he knew if he tried to say anything about what happened in the car my wife would tear him a new one so he waited till we stopped for my wife to pee to apologize to me. Of course being the pussy I am, I told him "thats what family is for" knowing full well my mother in law planned on leaving him as soon as financially possible.
So ends one of the many traumatic chapters in my wife's family's history. The question is, can you top it?
smokin a fatty for ya
