I was at a party once...(post your story, one story per post)

I was at a party once...

where about 20 of us were outside, sitting around a large outdoor table. (BTW, I only knew one person there) One half of this circular table was us smokers who came out there to toke. The other half was drinkers who showed up after us.

After a short time, the whole half of the table that was drinking gets in a big brawl, yelling and throwing shit at each other. All of us smoking just FROZE to our seats, in shock of what was going on. Eventually one of us got the rest of us out of that backyard, and off to Wendy's for some nuggets.

Not the most exciting story, but I find it a good drunk vs stoned comparison story.

Now you go. Try and keep them short, we are stoned and have short attention spans

I was at a party once...

and I was ripped off my ass. Wasn't all too sure what was going on, and it was a weird party/family reunion of this family I just met that day (I knew a girl there, I was her guest).

Anyway, apparently, this crazy cousin of theirs was drunk off her ass, got in a fight with them, and slammed a cordless phone against the bowl of the toilet, breaking a chunk off.

Nobody knew she broke the toilet, and I was too stoned/drunk on whiskey to notice.

I urinate, then flush, and the water SHOOTS out the side! The rim was broken, so it just sprayed all over the floor full force! The broken chunk, I apparently pissed on it and didn't notice it. I was confused, my feet were wet, and I was trying to explain I didn't do anything! I couldn't understand how I did it! Eventually the girl admitted what happened, but people were shocked I didn't notice that almost 1/4 of the bowl was broken off.

your ass would have been cleaning up lol...j/k

Had this girl try to drive away drunk so we took away her keys, then she got pissed off and somehow managed to get on the roof. She was sort of messing with us pretending like she was gonna jump when we asked her to get down, then she tripped on the gutter and fell in a huge holly bush and scratched her neck and face up pretty good.

Not at a party but a fast food place. My friends and i just finished a fat joint and were off into the place to get some junk food. Eyes red as shit and were in line smiling like shit and one of my friends has to rip a fart out of nowhere right before we order and the fucker busts out laughing and then we start too and am putting my head on my friends shoulder cause i can't stand the shame because am stoned out and one friend was barely ordering and just stopped and walked out laughing and we followed. that fukin fart had power for a skinny dude...

funny. i was at my friends 21st bday party, shes awesome she rented a moonwalk for it. I got some booze and i bought her a bottle too. It was getting to be about 8'o clock and we all had a water balloon fight in the pouring down rain,we weren't even drinking yet, well okay I had two shots lol but I wasnt even buzzed. About 30 mins later, the drinking began! I had some pina colada daiquiri and it had a HUGE piece of ice over it and I was already hammed and I stood one foot on my chair and the other on the table in the rain screaming "THEY KILLED JACK!!!! (TITANIC lol) it was hilarious, but now that im sober thinking about it, it was probably one of my stupidest ideas. She also had a purple unicorn pinata and as soon as we where hitting it the head got knocked off, i took the head and ran to my car and put it on my passenger seat lol. It was time for the moonwalk. Then there was wayy too many people in the moon walk and it would tip over and yep, it tipped over on me and i screamed so loud "help!" "help!" and they got mad at me for screaming especially help lol. Then they got me out of the ground from the moonwalk and then the birthday girl said "hey remember when we where younger I would pick you up and skin you" I said "oh yeah" well she tried and and I couldn't even stand up for shit!!, then I passed out and I heard the next day that I passed out on someones leg, then i woke up inside the house and i soon went to be in a fetal position. the next morning, me and her went to the local wall greens to get the pictures developed from the party and she had about 8 more pictures to take and we wehre in the parking lot and I put the pink unicorn head on my head and she took some pics of it. FUNNY AS HELL!! especially since I was still a little buzzed and that there was a older lady and her daughter like right next to us looking at us from the corner of her eye it was soooooo funny

I was stoned, with a couple friends eating at a local crackerbarrell, when all of a sudden 4 jesus freaks came to the table next to us and started telling us that we should invite the lord into our lives. now, I was the only person at the table who wasn't a christian, so I'm wondering why these people picked us out of all the tables to preach to. They keep asking me specifically if I've excepted the lord into my life and I kept telling them my door is open, all he's gotta do is knock and show his face. Well, they finally handed me a pamphlet, and told me to have a good day. I STILL couldn't figure out why they knew I wasn't religious, until I looked down to eat and realized I was wearing this shirt.

way to many.. but on halloween..

my friend got tackled by the cops so me and bro got in on that shit and all 3 of us ended up getting arrested..
fun stuff

First off + rep to Sharpies for toilet story, was lmao. This was funny to every1 else but me. I use to live out in the middle of nowhere, which was the perfect place for a party. lol Well every1 showed up, we started drinking. Every1 was plastered. Well needless to say 1 of us got to drunk. You guessed it, the drunk chick at the party that every1 trys to avoid. ( except for the desprete ones, lol) I'm sure all of you know the stupidity of a drunk person trying to help another. We were all going back to town, so I was helping her to the car. After face planting a few times we made it. Were were in a lil compact so she had to sit on my lap. This crazy bitch is opening the door goin 70 down the highway, trying to hurl herself outta the car. Well my homegirl had to put her in check... yeah she got socked. 10 minutes later it finally hit her.. She then threw her head back right into my teeth. Well we kicked her as out at first block in town.

Last Halloween I was at a party. I lucked out and got to take a chick home (her place). After a long night of sex I awoke with an amazing hangover. Me being a nice guy, I cleaned up some of the beer cans and junk. I left her place while she was still sleeping and slipped into my car. After giving myself a mental high five for my suaveness at closing the deal, I drove about 30 ft and realized something was wrong with my car. It turns out some fuck got pissed when I that chick home and slashed 2 of my tires. True Douchebaggery!

I was at a party once...

And I hit a girl in the face. I really don't wanna explain. She hit me first 3 times and split the inside of my lips open on my teeth before I hit her once. I was trapped in a corner or I would've ran. She was 5'10 150. Big bitch.

once went to a party at a friends got a killer circle going of stoners like 15 of us 2 bongs nice ones too everyone had at least 1/8 if not a 1/4 well we started smoking at 10 and stopped at 4 i havent been that high in a very long time

Last party I went to ended up getting to drunk and high and some huge about 6 foot 7 dickhead tried to rob me by just saying to empty my pockets so I just said get the fuck out of here and he said alright and walked away then like 5 minutes later im chillin about to pass out and he comes back with a couple more people and a fuckin tire iron and i knew one or two people there and they were both bitches and wouldnt of did shit to help me.so the big asshole hits me with his free hand right below my eye and he hit like a bitch by the way I think thats why he brought the tire iron with him so i just took it and sat there for a second thinking what I should do he kept saying empty your pockets so I eventually did and said just said fuck it and stuck him four times twice in the arm with the tire iron and twice in the chest he dropped that tire iron and started crying saying he stuck methis dude was like 24 and his friends started bitching after that and i just left and went home and smoked the other half of the blunt i had.So I dont go to parties no more unless its just some close friends because theres to much fucking drama.

I was at this club one night and we just got there and were sitting around watching people on the dance floor. I hadn't even finished my drink when this chick that was completely wrecked who was dancing in this cage smashes her face against one of the bars on the cage blood squired EVERYWHERE!!!

Kodank Moment said:

I was at a party once...

And I hit a girl in the face. I really don't wanna explain. She hit me first 3 times and split the inside of my lips open on my teeth before I hit her once. I was trapped in a corner or I would've ran. She was 5'10 150. Big bitch.

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I had bullshit like that happen to me before with the slutty drunk bitch who wants to try and show off and get in your face and talk a bunch of shit I should of knocked the bitch out that did it to me but she eventually got her boyfriend and we bitched him out and he drove off scared as shit I fucking hate bitches like that this is the typical slut white bitch that fucks every black guy she can.

one time my alcaholic buddy was actin a fool and tryin to get in the car with 2 gurls that were my sober freinds people so sober friend pulls drunk friend outa the car and drunk wont give up the keys to allow them to go

so sober is a black belt and well built, so he put drunk in a hold while they are both standing up

saying give me the keys!!!!!!motherfucker!!!!!! and drunk keeps saying no!!!no!!!!!!

so black belt is about to snatch the keys while hes got drunk in the hold,

so drunk decides to throw the keys as hard as he can in the woods, and black belt sensed this so right at that moment when drunk reeled back to throw the keys black belt just let go of drunk and drunk not expecting it flys forward with all the momentom of not being restrained anymore and drunks jaw smashes full force on the street and shatters in three places, teeth everywhere blood gushing

it was real bad, he had to get his jaw put back together and wired shut for a few weeks