One Texan

Here's another reason why we love Texas!
A large group of Iraqi soldiers are moving down a
road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand
dune: "One Texas soldier is better than ten Iraqi".
The Iraqi commander quickly orders 10 of his best men
over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a
few minutes, then silence.
The voice once again calls out: "One Texan is better
than one hundred Iraqi."
Furious, the Iraqi commander sends his next best 100
troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After
10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The Texan voice calls out again: "One Texan is better
than one thousand Iraqi."
The enraged Iraqi commander musters 1000 fighters and
sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns,
grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is
fought....Then silence.
Eventually one badly wounded Iraqi fighter crawls back
over the dune and with his dying words tells his
commander, Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There's two of
them."

I love it.....I worked for the depart. of defence as a civilian medic.......That is soooo bad no army soldiers left here to do the job they had to hire me for $19.00 an hour.......sad, but true.....These soldiers don't get only about30 days of R&R before they ship them back, out, they are supposta get 60 days at least! We are Bush's little crabs running around for him........veto this

and the reason chicks dig us texans,,,,



A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because he announces his wife has just produced "a typical Texas baby boy weighing 20 pounds."

Congratulations shower him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" are heard. A woman faints due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later, he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Ten pounds."
The bartender is puzzled, concerned. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth." The Texas father takes a slow swig from his long-neck Lone Star, wipes his lips on his shirtsleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."

"Bush's little crabs running around for him" lol
i read that 3 times and still not sure the exact meaning of it. either way bush and crabs together are never a good thing

th3bigbad said:

and the reason chicks dig us texans,,,,

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you have NO idea......

lol

ipoke. cant imagine what you do on your spare time haha jk

cali-high said:

lol

ipoke. cant imagine what you do on your spare time haha jk

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fantasize, to start with. lol. Bunch of weird fucks live round here, ain't fucking with none of those. The one i want is further upstate and time and distance are a problem right now, so its ABSTINANCE for me!!!!well,unless you count,doing myself. lol. who'd a thought.

A miner, a nun, a priest, a preacher, an 3 armed 12 eyed green alien, 3 rodeo clowns, and
a lesbian walk into the local Shit Kicker Dallas Texas bar........

Bartender looks up and says..."This must be some kind of a joke."

A roaming cowboy rides into this dusty old west Texas town, walks up to the saloon, where the sign reads "Bartender Wanted"
Cowboy pulls down the sign and walks into the bar. The current bartender says "You here about the job?"
Cowboy says, "Yup, I'm yer man"
Bartender takes off his apron, throws it at the cowboy and says "The job's all yours, Thank god you got here before Big Bad Bob got to town, I'm Gone!!!
A week goes by with barely a customer.
One Saturday evening he hears big ruccus outside the bar and he goes to see whats up....
All the towns people are locking their doors, chasing their little ones inside, shuttering windows......The cowboy/bartender says "Whats going on?""" The frightend old man says, "Iiiittt's BBBbb Big Bbbb Bad Bbbbob!!! He's on his way into town!!!! Man runs away in fear. A few minutes go by, and he sees this big dust devil coming down the street.....soon out of the haze, he sees a 7 foot talll 300 lb. bearded man riding a Black Panther, spurs made of Scorpions on his boots, and whipping that panther with a 8 foot rattle snake. The smell of the man is awfull from 12 feet away.....
The giant gets off of his mount, and says in a deep gravely voice..."LAY DOWN, PAnther".....and the panther lays down.....The man stomps into the bar......and bellows...
"Gimme a shot of yer worst rot gut!!""
The bartender, with trembling hands, hands him a shot glass and a durty bottle of whiskey......
The burly man grabs the bottle, bites off the neck and downs the whole bottle in one gulp!
The bartender asks...."Www Will...uh..Ca Can I gggg Get you anything e el else???

The man hollers "HELL NO!! I Gotta get outta here before Big Bad Bob shows up!!!"

only steers and queers come from texas