Soap/surfactant to soil? How much is too much? Other options?

My soil dries out fast and often I end up with waterproof soil that just drains out the bottom so I have to water it very slowly for it to take. I have to water every single day to prevent this from happening! PITA!
So I tried some Ivory dish soap and it seemed to help, not a cure, but helped. But the next time the soil was dry I had the same problem. I can't imagine adding 1/4tsp per gallon every time is not hurting the plants. So how much is too much, and are there any other options? Maybe something on the surface to hold the moisture in like sand or?? I'd plug the holes in the pots, but they're on the corners and it would be way too much work to seal them.

Right now I'm using SuperSoil available here in So Calif, and 20% perlite in one gallon pots. I've tried covering the top inch or more with pure soil, but it doesn't help much.
They dry out and become waterproof on the second day w/o water. Three or four days if I soak them for hours the sink which I don't have the time or the patience to do.

Thanks

Mix about 4 drops of liquid detergent into a quart spraybottle full of water.

1. Before watering, spray the entire soil surface with the above mixture, making sure the surface is completely and evenly moist. Wait a few minutes, then repeat the spraying.
2. Water slowly (a little at a time, over the entire surface), with water that has 2 drops liquid detergent mixed in per quart.

If the problem persists, you may have to "Dunk" your pot into some garden store bought "preperation". Be sure to submerse it slowly, so all the trapped air gets pushed out (you don't want to see any bubbles come out of the soil when it's submerged!).

I water my plants every day. I put a small dot of Dawn detergent in every gallon of nute water.

Big Steve