NorthofEngland
Well-Known Member
An American tourist is sat in a pub, in Limerick, enjoying a Guinness, when a HUGE rocket slowly rolls by the window.
He jumps up to have a better look but everyone else (two old fella's, a middle aged man with a dog and the bar keeper) do not react.
The American see's a 400ft long aluminium rocket being slowly pulled along on wheels, by an industrial tug.
"What the heck is that!"
The drinkers exchange glances
"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little space programme we Irish don't like to brag about" Says one of the old fella's.
"The Irish Space Programme...? I never heard of it!" Says the American. "I'm from Texas, you know 'Houston - we have a problem,,,?' "
From the blank looks of the Irish he deduced that they probably didn't know.
"Texas is the home of NASA - The U,S space programme. Neil Armstrong, Apollo 11....?"
The blank stares continued and he wondered if they were really this hard to impress or just a little bit odd.
A minutes silence and the Americans curiosity got the better of him.
"So....where is the Rocket being sent?"
"Up to space" said the old fella, without the slightest hint of sarcasm.
"Yeah but.. Space - it's big. Where in space?"
SILENCE.
"Come on, guys. In Texas the space programme employs thousands and everyone talks about the next planned mission. You guys must know if it's taking up satellites or being used for some other purpose....?"
SILENCE.
"One thing for sure, it ain't landing on anywhere. Not if it's manned. Even NASA ain't got the funding for that kind of mission any more"
"Oh, really...?" said the old fella, with the hint of a smile on his lips.
He quickly looked away as the other drinkers threw admonishing stares at him.
The American knew that these guys had a secret. A secret that one of them had already nearly spilled.
He decided he'd stay a while and see if he could make some friends.
"Anyway, Sure is a beautiful country you have here. Can I buy you gents a drink?"
The three drinkers and the barkeep all accepted a pint of Guinness (which took about 15 minutes to pour) and the American ordered himself another.
It was his second but his ffirst was still 75% full. He drank very slowly.
For the next few hours he bought drinks and praised the country of Ireland. It's greenery, its architecture. The friendliness of the Irish people....
Every round of drinks he bought himself aother but, more times than not, he passed it to the person who had reached the bottom of his own pint.
Eventually he brought up the space rocket, once more.
"I grew up watching the first moon landings. Those guys were hero's. It's so sad that those type of space missions no longer happen. To see another person back on the moon, actually walking on the moon, would be wonderful. We even thought that we'd put a man on Mars before the end of the century....".
"Well, you may not see another man walk on the moon or Mars but you'll be able to watch as man lands on a altogether new planet"
"Fergus!" snapped the man with the dog.
"Awww give it a rest, Brendan. All this secrecy....So what if people know that the Limerick built rocket will put a man - an IRISHMAN - as the first man to walk on the sun?"
The Texan gave a polite laugh at the joke, but quickly realized from the reactions of the others that this wasn't a joke.
"A man....a man on.....A MAN ON THE SUN? That's not possible. There's no material known to man that could get to within ten thousand miles off before being burnt to cinders.
How will you try, when will you try, what...where....."
The American stopped talking.
SILENCE
"Well, look at the time! I must be off"
"Jees, is it that time...."
"My dinner will be getting cold...."
All the drinkers made their excuses and started to finish their drinks or pull on their coats.
"Wait, wait. No need to leave" said the American "I'll take myself away . I can see my questions have made you uncomfortable. Bar keep.." he said, passing over a fifty euro note "these gents, and yourself, get to drink the next few on me - Compliments of the Kennedy Space Centre".
This was met with replies of "You're a true gent" and "God preserve you" by the alcohol loving locals.
As the American walked towards the door he stopped and said "But the sun thing....You're serious?".
"We've already said too much" said the old fella "but yes. Our top brains have worked out a way to send men to the sun and bring them back unhurt - and it's far less complicated than you might imagine".
"Sweet Mary Jane I never thought I'd see the day! I'll be scratching my head about this one, I guess, until I can read about it in the papers, Gentleman. Good night"
and the American left the pub.
The locals returned to positions of comfort and all intentions to leave were quickly forgotten.
The old fella said "For all their money and skyscrapers and Harvards and YALES you'd think they'd have worked this one out for themselves...?"
"I know" said Fergus "It's so obvious a child could work it out!"
"We'll arrange for them to land at night".
He jumps up to have a better look but everyone else (two old fella's, a middle aged man with a dog and the bar keeper) do not react.
The American see's a 400ft long aluminium rocket being slowly pulled along on wheels, by an industrial tug.
"What the heck is that!"
The drinkers exchange glances
"Oh, it's nothing. Just a little space programme we Irish don't like to brag about" Says one of the old fella's.
"The Irish Space Programme...? I never heard of it!" Says the American. "I'm from Texas, you know 'Houston - we have a problem,,,?' "
From the blank looks of the Irish he deduced that they probably didn't know.
"Texas is the home of NASA - The U,S space programme. Neil Armstrong, Apollo 11....?"
The blank stares continued and he wondered if they were really this hard to impress or just a little bit odd.
A minutes silence and the Americans curiosity got the better of him.
"So....where is the Rocket being sent?"
"Up to space" said the old fella, without the slightest hint of sarcasm.
"Yeah but.. Space - it's big. Where in space?"
SILENCE.
"Come on, guys. In Texas the space programme employs thousands and everyone talks about the next planned mission. You guys must know if it's taking up satellites or being used for some other purpose....?"
SILENCE.
"One thing for sure, it ain't landing on anywhere. Not if it's manned. Even NASA ain't got the funding for that kind of mission any more"
"Oh, really...?" said the old fella, with the hint of a smile on his lips.
He quickly looked away as the other drinkers threw admonishing stares at him.
The American knew that these guys had a secret. A secret that one of them had already nearly spilled.
He decided he'd stay a while and see if he could make some friends.
"Anyway, Sure is a beautiful country you have here. Can I buy you gents a drink?"
The three drinkers and the barkeep all accepted a pint of Guinness (which took about 15 minutes to pour) and the American ordered himself another.
It was his second but his ffirst was still 75% full. He drank very slowly.
For the next few hours he bought drinks and praised the country of Ireland. It's greenery, its architecture. The friendliness of the Irish people....
Every round of drinks he bought himself aother but, more times than not, he passed it to the person who had reached the bottom of his own pint.
Eventually he brought up the space rocket, once more.
"I grew up watching the first moon landings. Those guys were hero's. It's so sad that those type of space missions no longer happen. To see another person back on the moon, actually walking on the moon, would be wonderful. We even thought that we'd put a man on Mars before the end of the century....".
"Well, you may not see another man walk on the moon or Mars but you'll be able to watch as man lands on a altogether new planet"
"Fergus!" snapped the man with the dog.
"Awww give it a rest, Brendan. All this secrecy....So what if people know that the Limerick built rocket will put a man - an IRISHMAN - as the first man to walk on the sun?"
The Texan gave a polite laugh at the joke, but quickly realized from the reactions of the others that this wasn't a joke.
"A man....a man on.....A MAN ON THE SUN? That's not possible. There's no material known to man that could get to within ten thousand miles off before being burnt to cinders.
How will you try, when will you try, what...where....."
The American stopped talking.
SILENCE
"Well, look at the time! I must be off"
"Jees, is it that time...."
"My dinner will be getting cold...."
All the drinkers made their excuses and started to finish their drinks or pull on their coats.
"Wait, wait. No need to leave" said the American "I'll take myself away . I can see my questions have made you uncomfortable. Bar keep.." he said, passing over a fifty euro note "these gents, and yourself, get to drink the next few on me - Compliments of the Kennedy Space Centre".
This was met with replies of "You're a true gent" and "God preserve you" by the alcohol loving locals.
As the American walked towards the door he stopped and said "But the sun thing....You're serious?".
"We've already said too much" said the old fella "but yes. Our top brains have worked out a way to send men to the sun and bring them back unhurt - and it's far less complicated than you might imagine".
"Sweet Mary Jane I never thought I'd see the day! I'll be scratching my head about this one, I guess, until I can read about it in the papers, Gentleman. Good night"
and the American left the pub.
The locals returned to positions of comfort and all intentions to leave were quickly forgotten.
The old fella said "For all their money and skyscrapers and Harvards and YALES you'd think they'd have worked this one out for themselves...?"
"I know" said Fergus "It's so obvious a child could work it out!"
"We'll arrange for them to land at night".
