two prostitues

two prostitues were talking,

"I got picked up by the fuzz yesterday"

"That's nothing said the other last week I got swung around by the tits."

hmmmm....indeed.

the chicken said to the prostitute cock a doodle doo, the prostitute said to the chicken any cockle doo.

This guy is on vacation walkin on the beach see's a girl with no arms or legs on the beach crying and asks y, she said she had never been kissed, so he said ok and he kissed her, then as he turns to leave she begins cryin again so he asks again and she says well, I've never been fucked either, so again he says ok turns to her, picks her up and throws her into the ocean and says Now ur Fucked!!!!!

so my wife tells me you need to be more intemate, so i get me THREE girlfriends

i got married by a judge, fuck should of asked flor a jury

the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday, is to florget it once

how do most men define marriage? a very expensive way to get your laundry done flor free

a good wife always florgives her husband, when she's wrong

Here is an old one. This guy's wife says she isn't satisfied in bed so his buddy tells him try it like the chinese do, the start then stop and go and contemplate the moon or write a hiku, the go at it again then stop and go smoke or sumptin. Anyways the guy goes home to give it a try that night, so him and the wife r goin at it then he stops get up and goes to smoke a cig and comes back does the same thing again, then finally after doin it again as he goes to get up his wife looks at him and says WTF ur doin it like a goddamn chinamen.

Throw one more in here, this guy is in an elevator the doors open up and this chick gets in, doors close. The guy starts sniffin around like he smells sumptin, then he looks at the girl and ask her "Excuse me but would u mind if I smelled ur feet?" and the girl shocked says "WTF, no u can't smell my feet, perv!!", so the man in response turns away from her and say "Ok, it must be ur pussy then."

MrFrance said:

two prostitues were talking,

"I got picked up by the fuzz yesterday"

"That's nothing said the other last week I got swung around by the tits."

Click to expand...

Hilarious!

why are womans feet small?

So they cab stabd closer to the sink

Why are wedding dresses white?

So they match the appliances..

Guy says to wife "hey guess whats on tv.."

Wife says "what?"

"Dust now clean it"

WeeGogs said:

the chicken said to the prostitute cock a doodle doo, the prostitute said to the chicken any cockle doo.

Click to expand...

you been talkin to chickens again bby??

Ok so there is this married couple wants to have a kid but they r having problems so they go to a doctor. The doctor give the husband one of those cups and asks him to go in the next room and fill it up. After about 10min he opens the door and asks his wife to come in and help, so she does. Then another 10min go by they both come in the room lookin tired and the husband looks at the doctor and says sorry I can't I tried with my left and my right and so did my wife, she even tried with her mouth. But we couldn't get the top off the cup.

I met a hooker the other day who said she'd do anything for $20 . . . guess who got their house cleaned?

A horse walked into a bar and the bartender said, why the long face?

A duck walked into a store for some chapstick, walked up to the register and said, just put it on my bill.

Whats the difference between a tire and a black person. A tire doesnt sing when you put chains on it.

I like to start jokes off with child jokes and then end them with unbelievably racist jokes .

So there's 3 guys in a bar drunk as hell and they r talkin and laughin then finally one of em walks up to the bartender and says "Hey I got a bet 4 u. U c that glass at the end of the bar I bet u $100 I can piss in it from the other side of the bar and not spill a drop." So the bartender agrees and the guy gets up on the opposite side of the bar and starts pissing all over the place on the floor on the stools, even on the bartender himself. So the bartender laugh's and says u lose pay up and the guy laughing says one second walks over to the other 2 guys gets a wad of cash and goes back over and gives the bartender $100 and the bartender asks whats so funny and he says well u c those 2 guys they bet me $500 that I couldn't piss all over ur bar and u and not only would u not get mad but u would laugh about it.

#2 Guy walks into a bar and over in the corner there is a horse with a sign on him that says $250 if you can make this horse laugh, so the guy walks over to the horse and whispers sumptin in his ear and the horse starts laughing, so the guy gets his money and says thanks and leaves. Then a week later the same guy comes in again and the bartender says Hey buddy u gotta do sumptin my horse has been laughing non-stop all week since u left u gotta do sumptin if u can stop him I'll double what I gave u last time. So the guy says ok and takes the horse's lead and takes him around back, and a min later they come back in and the horse is crying this time, and the bartender says WTF is goin on last week he won't stop laughing and now he is crying what did u do. And the guy says well last week I told him I had a bigger dick than him, and this week I showed him.

COCOGRIFO said:

how do most men define marriage? a very expensive way to get your laundry done flor free

Click to expand...

If it's expensive then it's not free...