CCCmints
Well-Known Member
i'm going to write this out the best i can. i suspect you all will find my story interesting.
i've always been fascinated by the ego-death phenomenon, and i've always longed for such an experience. through my research, i learned patience was key to a proper experience; alongside real-life preparation. i didn't believe i could just take a certain dose of drugs and find what i was looking for. i first wanted to quit my use of most substances, dial in my grow op, get a promotion at work, etc. my reasoning was to ensure i was absolutely comfortable and perfectly content with life before dosing.
after a few months of preparation i began to feel like my patience was to be paid off in the near future. i began a 2 day fast and acquired 4 grams of shrooms from a friend. i'm not exactly sure what kind, they were black and assured to be potent. each shroom just melted in my mouth and i remember feeling like they belonged in me.
the trip itself is damn-near indescribable. my perception of time was obliterated so there really isn't a timeline. i felt the mushrooms start to take me soon after i opened the tent to look at my plants. i remained in control of myself at this point and had a buddy with me so i had no feelings of fear or anything of that nature.
this is where my trip went out of control. i remember looking into my friend's eyes (we'll call him B) and then supposedly i leaped towards him and "looked like i was going to kill him". instead of B being a good friend and staying with me to try and get me under control, he just left me there in my house alone. for the next however long i thought i was in a mental battle with him. i stripped all of my clothes and went outside where i would slam my body into the floor and a mental battle would commence. i felt like it was a battle till death and the ground was sucking the life out of my body...shit i really don't know how to explain this. it all felt very real and very important.
eventually i got up to look for B in my neighborhood. this is how i made it back home. i began to think true ego-death meant we would both meet up with each other and switch bodies then live the rest of our lives from there. i thought i had stolen his ego or some crazy shit. well, i couldn't find him, so i went home, made 18 scrambled eggs, then went back up to my plants. i felt very peaceful during this time and finally crawled into my bed to get some sleep. i felt like i was in heaven.
when i woke up i felt like i had all of this crazy mental energy. i felt connected to all of the lizards and nature around my house. i cleared my computer and my phone and started to research all of this crazy shit. i ended up thinking i found my soul and it was split into two people: da vinci and constantine the great. i started walking around my neighborhood looking for B again to share with him my newfound knowledge of both our souls. i didn't find him, but i found a neighbor i've had problems with in the past, and i guess i didn't look so good so he went inside to call security. security came and that led to the police being called, then bam i've got a cop at my door...he tackled me and took me to jail.
they toss me in some holding cell by myself for what seemed to be a very long time. finally i get let out, and i was so tripped out. i felt completely disconnected with reality. i remember standing up, looking at some black dude, and all i heard was "you feelin' some type of way?!" then he knocked me the fuck out. when i woke up in general population i decided the only way i was going to get out of trouble was if i started acting as crazy as possible. i decided every time i made new eye contact with someone i'd act like i'd never seen them in my life. well this led me to solitary confinement.
so i spent the next 31 days in solitary confinement experiencing full on auditory and visual hallucinations. at one point i thought i was da vinci and started working on a toilet paper masterpiece. i was so involved with this project that i stopped eating and lost 25 pounds. at one point i woke up in a suicide chair. this made me believe i had died and dmt was activated in my brain, so i had to escape from the chair to end my dmt trip, then i would reincarnate back to earth. i could go on and on...
all in all it was a very intense yet at the same time a beautiful experience. a guard said i looked like i was going through an exorcism. i feel like i've typed a lot and i think this is enough to spark some good discussion so i'll stop here. any questions you have please do ask. this situation will take time for me to process as i'm sure you can understand, so i figure a discussion with you all will lead me down the right path now that i'm free.
i've always been fascinated by the ego-death phenomenon, and i've always longed for such an experience. through my research, i learned patience was key to a proper experience; alongside real-life preparation. i didn't believe i could just take a certain dose of drugs and find what i was looking for. i first wanted to quit my use of most substances, dial in my grow op, get a promotion at work, etc. my reasoning was to ensure i was absolutely comfortable and perfectly content with life before dosing.
after a few months of preparation i began to feel like my patience was to be paid off in the near future. i began a 2 day fast and acquired 4 grams of shrooms from a friend. i'm not exactly sure what kind, they were black and assured to be potent. each shroom just melted in my mouth and i remember feeling like they belonged in me.
the trip itself is damn-near indescribable. my perception of time was obliterated so there really isn't a timeline. i felt the mushrooms start to take me soon after i opened the tent to look at my plants. i remained in control of myself at this point and had a buddy with me so i had no feelings of fear or anything of that nature.
this is where my trip went out of control. i remember looking into my friend's eyes (we'll call him B) and then supposedly i leaped towards him and "looked like i was going to kill him". instead of B being a good friend and staying with me to try and get me under control, he just left me there in my house alone. for the next however long i thought i was in a mental battle with him. i stripped all of my clothes and went outside where i would slam my body into the floor and a mental battle would commence. i felt like it was a battle till death and the ground was sucking the life out of my body...shit i really don't know how to explain this. it all felt very real and very important.
eventually i got up to look for B in my neighborhood. this is how i made it back home. i began to think true ego-death meant we would both meet up with each other and switch bodies then live the rest of our lives from there. i thought i had stolen his ego or some crazy shit. well, i couldn't find him, so i went home, made 18 scrambled eggs, then went back up to my plants. i felt very peaceful during this time and finally crawled into my bed to get some sleep. i felt like i was in heaven.
when i woke up i felt like i had all of this crazy mental energy. i felt connected to all of the lizards and nature around my house. i cleared my computer and my phone and started to research all of this crazy shit. i ended up thinking i found my soul and it was split into two people: da vinci and constantine the great. i started walking around my neighborhood looking for B again to share with him my newfound knowledge of both our souls. i didn't find him, but i found a neighbor i've had problems with in the past, and i guess i didn't look so good so he went inside to call security. security came and that led to the police being called, then bam i've got a cop at my door...he tackled me and took me to jail.
they toss me in some holding cell by myself for what seemed to be a very long time. finally i get let out, and i was so tripped out. i felt completely disconnected with reality. i remember standing up, looking at some black dude, and all i heard was "you feelin' some type of way?!" then he knocked me the fuck out. when i woke up in general population i decided the only way i was going to get out of trouble was if i started acting as crazy as possible. i decided every time i made new eye contact with someone i'd act like i'd never seen them in my life. well this led me to solitary confinement.
so i spent the next 31 days in solitary confinement experiencing full on auditory and visual hallucinations. at one point i thought i was da vinci and started working on a toilet paper masterpiece. i was so involved with this project that i stopped eating and lost 25 pounds. at one point i woke up in a suicide chair. this made me believe i had died and dmt was activated in my brain, so i had to escape from the chair to end my dmt trip, then i would reincarnate back to earth. i could go on and on...
all in all it was a very intense yet at the same time a beautiful experience. a guard said i looked like i was going through an exorcism. i feel like i've typed a lot and i think this is enough to spark some good discussion so i'll stop here. any questions you have please do ask. this situation will take time for me to process as i'm sure you can understand, so i figure a discussion with you all will lead me down the right path now that i'm free.
.
Reminds me of the Cheech & Chong movie where Leary doses Cheech with L when he's in that padded room.