Why not let your teenager know?
Because teens talk their asses off and have no clue of the consequences of it. Even if your teen is a pot smoker and thinks its cool for you to grow, they might brag about it to other pot smoking teens. Even if they think you are cool, they get popped driving with a few buds and are threatened by cops who exaggerate the seriousness of the incident, they may just start naming names. You could go down big time just so a kid doesn't have to pay a 100 dollar fine on his misdemeanor charge. Not all kids are bright.
Another reason not to let a teen know (assume that if one knows, many more now know) is that now you are under the threat of being burglarized or worse.
What if a kid isn't into his parents hobby and actually looks down on it or is scared due to all the propaganda that's been forced upon them? What if they go to the school counselor? What if they get emotional at school for some teen drama credit with their peers?
You just can't tell anyone but especially teens. If you are going to do something like this you have too keep as much control as you are capable. Every other person who knows makes it exponentially harder to control including having a partner.
Yup, most of this had me nodding my head in agreement.
The kid in question is not dumb, by any means; he's really, really bright. Like frighteningly smart. That does not mean he wouldn't one day be upset with me over something stupid and then tell someone. I love my kids, but I'm not kidding myself about how vindictive teenagers can be.
Then there is the blab factor you mentioned, like at school, trying to look cool or something. I can just about hear it: "Oh yeah? Well my mom grows reefer, so there." Something like that.
Like you said, they really don't understand the seriousness of the consequences--same reason they take such outrageous risks in their own lives. Most teens have "not-me" syndrome. That doesn't make them dumb. It makes them normal for their age.
He's not old enough to drive yet, so I'm not concerned about that. You mentioned living with the threat of a burglary. I hadn't even thought of that. Good point.
Another threat, the kind that can do serious damage to the relationship between a kid and his parent, is a kid having control over that parent. If my teenager knew about this, he could easily make threats: I get this, or I tell. Maybe not in so many words, but that threat is there. That is a huge, huge, no-no. Even if nothing ever happened to me, I would not allow that to happen.
You never let a teenager have power over you. Never. Even if you never wind up in legal trouble, it screws up the dynamics of the relationship and the kid winds up getting damaged. That's pretty important to me. I don't want to do anything that will make growing up harder on this kid. Life's hard enough when you're a freshman in high school, you know? Making him, basically, an accomplice is not good for him.
About people who do involve their kids in this, or others who indulge with their kids? I think that's a terrible thing to do to a kid. They'll find that kind of thing on their own, if that's what they want. I think the odds that my teen will at least try some pot are good. I'm not going to be surprised when that happens. I don't think he's the sort of kid who would get heavily involved in it, which is a good thing, since he's still very young. But people who encourage or condone kids doing that? I don't think very highly of them as parents. Same with things like porn. There's no reason for parents to supply that kind of thing. It's perfectly normal for them to be curious, to want to see it (or in the case of pot, to try it). But the way for them to do it is not with the help of parents. They come to that stuff on their own. I found a T-n-A magazine in my teen's room. I wasn't snooping (I don't do that, either--unfair in every way), I was only looking for something of mine he'd borrowed. So I found the magazine--and I put it right back where it was and never said a word about it. He doesn't need me to come down on him for perfectly normal behavior, but he also does not need me to encourage him. That's his business.
Thanks for the feedback everyone.