Funny Sex Stories

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
I went home wit dis chica in the burque and it was all good then I started boning her in the morning again.. and she was like I want you to pee in me...

and I was like whaaa.........and she was like I want you to pee....inside me....

and I was like whaaaa.....so I peeed in the bitch and she started making exorcist noises..so I just kept on fuckin

It was pretty weird
 

Da Mann

Well-Known Member
X wife and I got a buzz on. She had a cleaning business. That day she cleaned a couple of vacation rentals. They were not rented for that week. we were to phucked up to get the key in the door and were laughing so hard we could not open the door. Sooo we got necked on the deck and getting down when the porch light comes on. We ran laughing are azz's off with clothes in are hands. Damn that was a good piece of ass.
 

GreatwhiteNorth

Global Moderator
Staff member
X wife and I got a buzz on. She had a cleaning business. That day she cleaned a couple of vacation rentals. They were not rented for that week. we were to phucked up to get the key in the door and were laughing so hard we could not open the door. Sooo we got necked on the deck and getting down when the porch light comes on. We ran laughing are azz's off with clothes in are hands. Damn that was a good piece of ass.
So that was you on the porch.
Can I have my Tiki torch back please ?
 

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
Ever got head,,,,,,, but you was so drunk and high you passed out?:oops:

Or

Tried to fuck on extacy but your dick wouldnt say hard?:shock:
 

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
I've passed out before. .

When I'm thizzing I can fuck for hours .. If there's coke involved it's all bad I ain't getting hard!
Blue buddhas are the worst for that. I got so horny but my dick ouldnt get hard. And I started beating all the homies up lol. It was good times. The bitch got scared and left lol.
 

mr sunshine

Well-Known Member
Blue buddhas are the worst for that. I got so horny but my dick ouldnt get hard. And I started beating all the homies up lol. It was good times. The bitch got scared and left lol.
I know what you mean one time when I was 16 I took some blue dolphins. . Shit was straight crack.. I stayed up beating my limp dick till the sun came up...hella dehydrated!
 

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
I know what you mean one time when I was 16 I took some blue dolphins. . Shit was straight crack.. I stayed up beating my limp dick till the sun came up...hella dehydrated!
Rofl. I almost woke up mh sons on that one dude!!. I know EXACTLY what you mean dawg. I did that on some Purple ID's in Tn new when I was like 18. Bitches was all out bullshittin and I got bored lol. Man, I miss Tn.
 

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
I once got mh dick sucked at a library in Tn whi, e ppl were droppin off books. In Fresno behind Edwards cinema at Riverpark. In fresno at 1 am in an elementary school. I busted all over here brother FS Buldogs sweater.
 

FresnoFarmer

Well-Known Member
In kings county got my dick sucked on the front porch and some school. Got some in the traphouse on belmont. Dick suced all day every day until her man came down form washington. I think at that point she was pregnant with my bby she aborted.
 

ASMALLVOICE

Well-Known Member
The wifey and I spend a lot of time at the lake. Once we were in the back of a long ass creek, I thought a minimum of 6-7 miles from any kind of civilization. I had removed the back seat from the bass boat so she could layout on the back deck. After a few tokes on the pipe, my mind got to wandering and looking at her in the bikini and well, one thing led to another and I ended up in the back of the boat. Went at it like two rabid wolverines, just letting the boat drift as it may. When we were done, I took a look around and there were 2 youngster on bikes staring at us from the bank.

I have no idea where the hell they came from, but I jumped back up to the front of the boat and put the trolling motor on high and left from there as fast as I could.

I am so glad they did not have cell phones or that might have ended up a lot worse. I have no desire to see myself in action on the internet, EVER!!!

Peace

Asmallvoice
 
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