Going to Church!

Why do we sin so much?

  • It's Fun!

    Votes: 6 28.6%

  • I don't sin...

    Votes: 1 4.8%

  • We're fallen

    Votes: 3 14.3%

  • Stop fucking around Tyler

    Votes: 1 4.8%

  • This is offensive!

    Votes: 1 4.8%

  • Bring back Dia NOW!!!

    Votes: 10 47.6%

  • Pinworm/shit stomp

    Votes: 9 42.9%
  • Total voters
    21
oldtimer54

oldtimer54

Well-Known Member
Find you one of those Pentecostal Holiness church's. You know the ones where they speak in tounges and roll around on the floor shaking .
If you find it difficult to locate one of those church's see if you can locate one that handles snakes. They're both prevalent in my state !
Good luck in your endeavors and remember jesus loves the little children !
 
Elwood Diggler

Elwood Diggler

Well-Known Member
if the dude shakes your hand on the way out and says you'd look good in an altar boy uniform you've got the wrong church
 
tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
oldtimer54 said:
Find you one of those Pentecostal Holiness church's. You know the ones where they speak in tounges and roll around on the floor shaking .
If you find it difficult to locate one of those church's see if you can locate one that handles snakes. They're both prevalent in my state !
Good luck in your endeavors and remember jesus loves the little children !
Click to expand...
Funny you should say. On my way out of IHOP I witnessed a large teenage boy doing just that. I assumed he was from a local parish who was still in praise mode. The syllables were uttered in an interesting pattern, and he was rolling around and shaking with the best of them. I felt inspired, so I started singing at the top of my lungs the only hymn I could remember to kick this Sunday off right! You can imagine how confused I was when I was rudely shoved out of the way by paramedics. The boy was simply an epileptic. Strike one for church day...
 
tyler.durden

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
So, I chose a large, grey, stoic looking church. I don't know why. It looked like a church that Bruce Wayne might attend. I got to there WAY early. Did you guys know that it starts at like, 10am? I got bored so I decided to smoke some weed. After a while, I saw some people start to go inside, so I began to walk in with them. One old dude stopped me and asked if he could help me. "Just here for the service..." I replied. He said that it started in an hour. I told him I'd like to wait inside. He seemed hesitant, but he let me in. I found a bathroom and went in to drop my after breakfast deuce. It felt strange to shit in church, kinda naughty. The service was packed full, I wasn't expecting that. I was surrounded by families, and there were young kids on either side of me. They seemed bored and kept asking me questions, so I asked them some of my own. Here are some highlights of the exchanges (I'm in blue) -

"How old is Jesus?"
"Jesus is dead..."
"But isn't god all around us?"
"No!"
"Do you like this church?"
"No..."
"Do you think I should join this church?"
I received both positive and negative responses to this last question.

The service was okay, kinda boring. The pastor wasn't very inspirational, and all the positive things he was preaching was obvious, common sense stuff. At one point I fell asleep, and the small girl to my right poked me awake. "You were snoring!" I apologized. I tried speaking to a few people afterward, but that was really boring, too. On my way out I saw an office door ajar, so I peeked inside. There was a cool little Apple speaker that I've had my eye on, so I slipped it under my jacket and headed out. I don't think I'll be going back to church for a while, it just wasn't for me. The speaker sounds great, so the day wasn't a total loss...
 
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