cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Now THAT is the ticket. Get a nephew with wifi
Does Anyone Know About Juvenile Court?
- Thread starter ClaytonBigsby
- Start date
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
I feel kind of like it;s my fault. We;ve been stealing stuff all Summer and selling it on ebay and CL. He's 9 so nobody paid a whole lot of attention. He's become really good at being "every boy". He did get caught a few times but he said I was his dad and they called to come get him (I was waiting in the parking lot). A couple of times they were talking about the police so I started slapping him about the head and shoulders until the just asked us to leave. That was Summer though, when all the kids are out of school. I think that was our mistake today. We had a few beers and got greedy. I don;t know who he called but I haven;t heard anything yet. He couldn;t call me because I helped him load the tv in the cart.
Shit!
Shit!
Really the only way to do this is start over with a new nephew. This one is old with bad habits!
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
That was kind of my plan. I figured drugs will get you in a lot more trouble than stealing a few things. He is sizing up his classmates for potential "soldiers".
Could you find a way to hold interviews? Certainly the economy is in such a way that you can get one of the more enterprising nephews.
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
This one is ROCK SOLID! We just got sloppy.
But in today's economy might it be cheaper to start over with newer, younger, cuter? This one has to be showing some wear and tear, right? Why else could a plan as sharp as yours get popped? it had to be the age on him. Buy new/fresh and cheap, upgrayedd
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Check out that kid named after an African locale. Cute, young, strong as a rock and as smart as one too
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
Annie, Annie, Annie....... Did Yoda give up on Luke?
This kid is butthole tight (well, not Alienwidow's butthole).
When we (he) steal steaks, I follow him out of the store in case anyone gets grabby. He starts yelling rape, or child molester, or something so I can interrupt and fight the security while he runs away. Then I act dejected for letting him get away once they explain what the little bastard did. One time though, he was pinched inside the store. This guy approached him and asked what he had under his shirt. My nephew said "all I have in my pants is my dick and twenty-five cents" but they both knew the jig was up so that little fucker pulls the steaks out tears the plastic and throws them on the ground so they slap loudly. He started yelling at the guy "you call this shit meat?!!?..it can't possibly have the right expiration date.. demanding to see the USDA paperwork on it. While the guy looked around at all of the faces agape, he ran out and I announced "I'll get him!" then ran after him. We laughed for a good hour.
See the good memories! Imagine what next years model could bring! C'mon give the next gen a chance, ageist.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Now imagine all this with a catalytic converter and built-in Bluetooth. Get with the future; I know you possess the necessary ambition and cold-eyed judgment.
You see the same flexibility and brilliance as I?
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Yes!! and longer service intervals.
~edit~ That last betrays my incapacity for really getting out of my own headspace. If there is anything I should have learned about Clayton, RIU royalty he, it is that he lives for the short intervals between major services. And disservices. He is peculiarly engaged in a way the simultaneously awes and upsets me.
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
Jeeesus, crazy gypsy lady, I get the hint. How much do you want for him? How old is he? Priors? Give me some resume...
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
The fuck are you two on about??? I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed
I thought I was pretty subtle?! Damn not sure I want to deal with you but cash ok? he's 9 and very handsome, some, like @Hookabelly would say swarthy even for 9, a true child prodigy. He seems to be able to say whatever is necessary, no conscience whatsoever, he's high value.
Hey biatch are we doin' this deal or what? Oops I think that was meant to be PM. So PM me your answer. I have other lucrative offers.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
To quote the sage: "Technology, Gromit!"
You need to bring the latest underage family mule tech online NOW! You're in competition with hungry horny Chinese who live in their customer care call centers! If your indirectly-descended workforce cannot out-accelerate the 2015 models, just stop breathing now, y'know?
ClaytonBigsby
Well-Known Member
You know me; I;m open. I'd have to see him in action a couple of times before I drop cash. Not sure you want to deal with me? My credit is solid.
First to market @see4 (tim berners lee mention, I envy you!!)To quote the sage: "Technology, Gromit!"
You need to bring the latest underage family mule tech online NOW! You're in competition with hungry horny Chinese who live in their customer care call centers! If your indirectly-descended workforce cannot out-accelerate the 2015 models, just stop breathing now, y'know?