There are lots of couples out there who go out and buy books and toys specifically to try and bring female ejaculation about. So in a way, you guys are WAY ahead of the game.
The only block here, as I understand it, is that the partner still relates her ejaculation with a loss of control over her bladder. Which, while being completely incorrect, would be just about anyones logical assumption.
It's understandable that she might feel embarrassed. I did too. In your whole life, what's the least grown-up thing you can do? Wet the bed. The problem, as you have gathered, was never you. It was the lack of basic information given to women about their own bodies. The censorship of the female body in any educational context traps the common women into a lot of uncertainties. They don't know why something, or if something isn't working right, so who can they blame but their partner or themselves? There is no respite, save education.