Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

spliffendz

spliffendz

Well-Known Member
A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian"
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Brian. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse and the whole street blacks out. But Brian, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his bloody widow
 
spliffendz

spliffendz

Well-Known Member
Never Know When It Might Come in Useful
Nasrudin sometimes took people for trips in his boat. One day a fussy pedagogue hired him to ferry him across a very wide river.
As soon as they were afloat the scholar asked whether it was going to be rough.
‘Don’t ask me nothing about it,’ said Nasrudin.
‘Have you never studied grammar?’
‘No,’ said the Mulla.
‘In that case, half your life has been wasted.’
The Mulla said nothing.
Soon a terrible storm blew up. The Mulla’s crazy cockleshell was filling with water.
He leaned over towards his companion.
‘Have you ever learnt to swim?’
‘No,’ said the pedant.
‘In that case, schoolmaster, ALL your life is lost, for we are sinking.’
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top