CunningCanuk
Well-Known Member
I think animal puns are the best.Also, I heard that the bears were gay.
Because they laid their paw on the table.
I gnu someone else here would feel the same.
Happy thread :)
- Thread starter Jimdamick
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I gnu someone else here would feel the same.
Ozumoz66
Well-Known Member
Also, I heard that the bears were gay.
Because they laid their paw on the table.
Ozumoz66
Well-Known Member
Happy that my Russian sunflowers got to be 9ft tall and that nobody has tampered with our mailbox.
We usually have a lady delivering our mail. The first week after colouring the mailbox, it was a man - guessing she was on vacation. We recieved mail 3 times that week and the pink flag was never raised once -that mofo wouldn't touch it!
I can't stop laughing about it.
Don't Bogart
Well-Known Member
Is it song time?
Don't Bogart
Well-Known Member
Down memory lane.
HGCC
Well-Known Member
Came back from camping and there was some sort of mini trump rally going on down the street. Trump won and don't tread on me flags flying high. Yelled "he lost you dorks" but was not satisfied so circled around to stop at the light and yell "go back where you came from." That felt good.
Jimdamick
Well-Known Member
A very moving and poetic work, with a philosophic leaning I think (am I right?)
It almost, but not quite, made me tear up
It reminds me of the writings of this towering figure in the History of Mankind.
I wish I could have had that/your experience to reminisce with, but alas, it was not to be.
You see, my father was right for a change in this matter.
Most, if not all of my mates were what could be described as bums/degenerates/criminals/addicts/pot heads & acid freaks (that was me
)My campfire memories are no where near as noble or endearing, they were actually very coarse & crude (for fun we would have contests to see who could piss farther) & sometimes cruel it could be said. (like when we ganged up on the weakest amongst us & beat him up mentally & sometimes physically, sorta like the book, Lord of the Flies.)
We just stood/sat around the fire passing bottles/cans/joints/pipes/bongs, talking shit about other people & sometimes having a commentary on whose girlfriend/Mom would give the best head.
Yup, that's what we would do.
Sad right?
Jimdamick
Well-Known Member
Don't Bogart
Well-Known Member
Why thank you.
I think I was stoned. I don't remember posting it.
Don't Bogart
Well-Known Member
You seem to have come out alright.
topcat
Well-Known Member
I hung out with dropouts for a time. I was astonished by what they didn't know. I felt like a genius among them, but it was hollow and unsatisfying, considering the company.A very moving and poetic work, with a philosophic leaning I think (am I right?)
It almost, but not quite, made me tear up
It reminds me of the writings of this towering figure in the History of Mankind.
View attachment 4970439
I wish I could have had that/your experience to reminisce with, but alas, it was not to be.
You see, my father was right for a change in this matter.
Most, if not all of my mates were what could be described as bums/degenerates/criminals/addicts/pot heads & acid freaks (that was me
My campfire memories are no where near as noble or endearing, they were actually very coarse & crude (for fun we would have contests to see who could piss farther) & sometimes cruel it could be said. (like when we ganged up on the weakest amongst us & beat him up mentally & sometimes physically, sorta like the book, Lord of the Flies.)
We just stood/sat around the fire passing bottles/cans/joints/pipes/bongs, talking shit about other people & sometimes having a commentary on whose girlfriend/Mom would give the best head.
Yup, that's what we would do.
Sad right?
Life, huh?
Now, for some Flo (Phlorescent Leech) & Eddie, AKA, The Turtles.
DIY-HP-LED
Well-Known Member
Jimdamick
Well-Known Member
Dropouts huh?
Let me tell you my experience with "dropouts"
I was sentenced to 30 days in jail once for driving with a suspended license due to a DUI (I was framed, I really was
) Maybe I'll share that story with y'all someday, it's pretty funny also.
Anyway I was supposed to go to a low security jail for drunks & wife beaters but instead was sent to a class B, medium security jail full of gang members/rapists/murderers/theives & arsonists. to name some of the crimes my room/cell mates were charged with.
You think I'm joking?
I'm not.
I was fucking surrounded by imminent threats to society & myself.
Now the funny part.
The con in the next cube (we had cubicals for sleep in a large gymnasium) saw me reading a book and his ears went up.
"You can read?" he asks me.
This guy was around 80 and had no fucking teeth at all, and he sorta looked like this, but without teeth.
I say yes, I can read.
He then asks me if I can write and I reply yes.
He then asks me to read a letter from his parole officer to him & then asks would I write a letter for him to his parole officer explaining his reason why he broke parole & that he had to get out of here (Don't we all I think to myself
)I did that & in gratitude he gives me a Raman soup, which is like gold in the slammer & was greatly appreciated
So this other criminal comes up & asks me to do the same thing (more noodles for me, cool
)Now, the really funny part.
I'm Bi-Polar/Depressive (can you tell?
) & without my meds/herb I end up in a bad place to be.Anyway the assholes took my meds away & told me they have to be cleared by the Dr. & would be returned to me as soon as that happened.
So, the inevitable occurred.
They lost my meds & had to contact my Dr. for a script to replace them.
Five fucking days later I get my meds & I'm not feeling well at all at that point, and then they really fuck me.
They then tell me that I have to go into a 23 hour lockdown for observation, to make sure I don't have any adverse effects as a result of being without my meds for so long.
I get locked into a cell for 23 hours a day with no bed, I had something like a plastic canoe on the ground as a bed.
This cell was around 10' x 8' and held 3 fucking people, me being one of them.
The other two were
#1 was a sailor waiting for extradition to Maryland to stand trial for killing his 2 children & #2 was an illegal alien that spoke no English & was out of his fucking mind & cried constantly & never slept at all.
I was in that cell with those lunatics for 3 fucking days until I was deemed somewhat normal.
Anyway, in retrospect I find it a funny experience.
This tune reminds me of it
topcat
Well-Known Member
That's harsh. I spent 4 hours in jail for a DUI when I was 21. They moved me from one cell to another and back to hose down the place. I was all alone. It disturbed my sleep. How's that? Gnarly, huh?Dropouts huh?
Let me tell you my experience with "dropouts"
I was sentenced to 30 days in jail once for driving with a suspended license due to a DUI (I was framed, I really was
Maybe I'll share that story with y'all someday, it's pretty funny also.
Anyway I was supposed to go to a low security jail for drunks & wife beaters but instead was sent to a class B, medium security jail full of gang members/rapists/murderers/theives & arsonists. to name some of the crimes my room/cell mates were charged with.
You think I'm joking?
I'm not.
I was fucking surrounded by imminent threats to society & myself.
Now the funny part.
The con in the next cube (we had cubicals for sleep in a large gymnasium) saw me reading a book and his ears went up.
"You can read?" he asks me.
This guy was around 80 and had no fucking teeth at all, and he sorta looked like this, but without teeth.
View attachment 4970589
I say yes, I can read.
He then asks me if I can write and I reply yes.
He then asks me to read a letter from his parole officer to him & then asks would I write a letter for him to his parole officer explaining his reason why he broke parole & that he had to get out of here (Don't we all I think to myself
I did that & in gratitude he gives me a Raman soup, which is like gold in the slammer & was greatly appreciated
So this other criminal comes up & asks me to do the same thing (more noodles for me, cool
Now, the really funny part.
I'm Bi-Polar/Depressive (can you tell?
Anyway the assholes took my meds away & told me they have to be cleared by the Dr. & would be returned to me as soon as that happened.
So, the inevitable occurred.
They lost my meds & had to contact my Dr. for a script to replace them.
Five fucking days later I get my meds & I'm not feeling well at all at that point, and then they really fuck me.
They then tell me that I have to go into a 23 hour lockdown for observation, to make sure I don't have any adverse effects as a result of being without my meds for so long.
I get locked into a cell for 23 hours a day with no bed, I had something like a plastic canoe on the ground as a bed.
This cell was around 10' x 8' and held 3 fucking people, me being one of them.
The other two were
#1 was a sailor waiting for extradition to Maryland to stand trial for killing his 2 children & #2 was an illegal alien that spoke no English & was out of his fucking mind & cried constantly & never slept at all.
I was in that cell with those lunatics for 3 fucking days until I was deemed somewhat normal.
Anyway, in retrospect I find it a funny experience.
This tune reminds me of it
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topcat
Well-Known Member
The headline reads: "Car totaled by 20 pound bike."
Jimdamick
Well-Known Member
Yea, when the cuffs go on and the door to your cell clangs shut for the 1st time & you realize that yea, you ain't going anywhere, you are a prisoner without any control over yourself really, that you are under someone else's full control, that's a unique feeling.That's harsh. I spent 4 hours in jail for a DUI when I was 21. They moved me from one cell to another and back to hose down the place. I was all alone. It disturbed my sleep. How's that? Gnarly, huh?
But the 2nd time I was like Oh well, here we are again.
The 3rd time your used to it & the 4th time you ask the guard what time is lunch (ask for Kosher/it beats the cheese sandwiches) & if you can get a pillow & an extra sheet.
That's the way it was for me at least
Yea, I was a bad/unlucky boy.
Two DWI (not too bad for 50 years of driving I think) & 3 pops for pot/chemicals (2 possession & 1 with intent)
I was able to afford decent lawers so no big problem mostly, but the possession with intent to sell almost got me.
I was arrested at my frat house in college when the neighbors called the cops about the noise.
I answered the door & opened it & standing there in front of me were 2 town cops & 2 State troopers. (I'm laughing now thinking about it
).Now, this was an acid party and there were around 10 people who had dropped & I had eaten 2 hits in my glutinous way, of very good acid called Cherry Blossom (little red balls) and I was high as fuck when I faced the cops.
Anyone ever trip?
If you did, just imagine 2 troopers & 2 cops in your face when you are just starting to peak & your wondering to yourself are those fuckers real or is it the acid.
I didn't give a fuck who/what they were, I was getting the fuck away from them.
What occured next was like a scene from the Keystone Cops.
I slamed the door in their faces, screamed cops & ran thru the house & thru the screened back door. (I didn't bother to open it)
Anyway, I was told that it took 3 cops to put the cuffs on me after they tackled me.
I was starting to/had flipped out so they brought me to the hospital and sedated me & I woke up the next day strapped to the bed.
"Oh boy" I say's too myself, "This is not good"
Little did I know that I was about to get really fucked very soon.
You see, I lived with 4 other guy's & we were all stoners & some of us sold & I guess we were the major suppliers on campus.
So there were a LOT of drugs in that house, like over 3.5 lbs of herb/3 oz's of Lebanese blond hashish/around 50 Quaaludes & like a 1000 hits of speed (A friend had robbed a pharmacy)
So guess what happened next to brighten my day even further?
I/me/myself alone was charged with possession of ALL those drugs with intent to distribute, no other resident/person was charged.
Holy shit/fuck me, I was facing serious time, like 20 year time in Connecticut.
I had no money & I wasn't/couldn't ask my father for it so I opted for a public defender & that was almost disastrous.
I was assigned to this fucking idiot who wanted me to plead guilty and he would get me out after 10 years served,
I say to him your fucking crazy, I ain't pleading guilty to this shit, most weren't even my drugs.
Next court date I demanded a new attorney, and was given one who had a fucking brain at least, thank God.
He goes over my case and literally in 5 minutes he tells me they have no case, no worries.
You see, those doughnut eating dummies NEVER GOT A FUCKING SEARCH WARRANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!
Next court date my attorney files for dismissal on those grounds and the judge agreed and dismissed all charges.
I dodged a bullet that day for sure.
This is what I was whistling as I went down the stairs from the Court house
Stay safe
topcat
Well-Known Member
Sing along with Mitch. Dang, I remember that. The days when I'd watch anything on TV, even Lawrence Welk. Well, there were some pretty girls, even if I was only six.Yea, when the cuffs go on and the door to your cell clangs shut for the 1st time & you realize that yea, you ain't going anywhere, you are a prisoner without any control over yourself really, that you are under someone else's full control, that's a unique feeling.
But the 2nd time I was like Oh well, here we are again.
The 3rd time your used to it & the 4th time you ask the guard what time is lunch (ask for Kosher/it beats the cheese sandwiches) & if you can get a pillow & an extra sheet.
That's the way it was for me at least
Yea, I was a bad/unlucky boy.
Two DWI (not too bad for 50 years of driving I think) & 3 pops for pot/chemicals (2 possession & 1 with intent)
I was able to afford decent lawers so no big problem mostly, but the possession with intent to sell almost got me.
I was arrested at my frat house in college when the neighbors called the cops about the noise.
I answered the door & opened it & standing there in front of me were 2 town cops & 2 State troopers. (I'm laughing now thinking about it
Now, this was an acid party and there were around 10 people who had dropped & I had eaten 2 hits in my glutinous way, of very good acid called Cherry Blossom (little red balls) and I was high as fuck when I faced the cops.
Anyone ever trip?
If you did, just imagine 2 troopers & 2 cops in your face when you are just starting to peak & your wondering to yourself are those fuckers real or is it the acid.
I didn't give a fuck who/what they were, I was getting the fuck away from them.
What occured next was like a scene from the Keystone Cops.
I slamed the door in their faces, screamed cops & ran thru the house & thru the screened back door. (I didn't bother to open it)
Anyway, I was told that it took 3 cops to put the cuffs on me after they tackled me.
I was starting to/had flipped out so they brought me to the hospital and sedated me & I woke up the next day strapped to the bed.
"Oh boy" I say's too myself, "This is not good"
Little did I know that I was about to get really fucked very soon.
You see, I lived with 4 other guy's & we were all stoners & some of us sold & I guess we were the major suppliers on campus.
So there were a LOT of drugs in that house, like over 3.5 lbs of herb/3 oz's of Lebanese blond hashish/around 50 Quaaludes & like a 1000 hits of speed (A friend had robbed a pharmacy)
So guess what happened next to brighten my day even further?
I/me/myself alone was charged with possession of ALL those drugs with intent to distribute, no other resident/person was charged.
Holy shit/fuck me, I was facing serious time, like 20 year time in Connecticut.
I had no money & I wasn't/couldn't ask my father for it so I opted for a public defender & that was almost disastrous.
I was assigned to this fucking idiot who wanted me to plead guilty and he would get me out after 10 years served,
I say to him your fucking crazy, I ain't pleading guilty to this shit, most weren't even my drugs.
Next court date I demanded a new attorney, and was given one who had a fucking brain at least, thank God.
He goes over my case and literally in 5 minutes he tells me they have no case, no worries.
You see, those doughnut eating dummies NEVER GOT A FUCKING SEARCH WARRANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, yes, yes!!!!!!
Next court date my attorney files for dismissal on those grounds and the judge agreed and dismissed all charges.
I dodged a bullet that day for sure.
This is what I was whistling as I went down the stairs from the Court house
Stay safe
injinji
Well-Known Member
I spent one night in jail when I was 22 or 23 for DUI. The thing I remember the most was how cold they had the AC. I froze all night. When Daddy came and picked up me, he said, "my daddy got me out of jail once, so consider this your one time. Next time you are on your own."That's harsh. I spent 4 hours in jail for a DUI when I was 21. They moved me from one cell to another and back to hose down the place. I was all alone. It disturbed my sleep. How's that? Gnarly, huh?
But all in all, it was a great night. I had 1/4 ounce in my pocket, and the cop let me stuff it under the back seat, If I had got charged with that, the judge would not have reduced the DUI to reckless driving and I would have had a record.
topcat
Well-Known Member
The CHP cop told me "You weren't driving the way you just passed that test, so I'm going to call my sergeant." I was wearing Red Wing ankle high boots that helped. I went through the field sobriety test again, but didn't convince sarge. The kicker is, they were going to let the girl I was with drive us both home, but the girl offered she didn't have a license, without being asked. A fuckin' 19 year old without a license! So, I went to jail in Burbank, and they drove her home to Sepulveda at her insistence. I was coming back from a Van Morrison concert at the Anaheim Convention Center. A long drive from the Valley and my date went to sleep, so I'm trying to stay awake by myself. This was early Sunday morning, after a Friday and Saturday of drinking. I was almost home. I haven't gotten so much as a parking ticket since then.
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