Going to take a drug test for a job today, wish me luck.

[ClaytonNewbilFontaine]

Im hella nervous about this. I've got clean piss in a condom, 2 condoms actually. I've done this before and succeeded but also have failed bc I let the pee get too cold. What I do is keep them in my sock wrapped in a hand warmer. It keeps it about 120°. I bring a Thermometer and when it gets down to 100° I cut it with a tiny pair of scissors and dump it in the cup. Should be easy, but there's a chance i could spill it. This job is a very good opportunity for me and I'd be making the best money I've ever made. Please wish me luck. I was thinking about scanning the ground for a lucky penny before I go in.

 

[tyler.durden]

Shit in the cup, buddy. ALWAYS shit in the cup. Best of luck...

 

[TCH]

Shit in the cup, buddy. ALWAYS shit in the cup. Best of luck...

Out Cold is one of the most underrated movies of all time.

 

[RetiredToker76]

I had to take a piss test to work at a medical weed grow.

Tested about as positive as you can get for weed. The testing company called me back and told me I"d tested positive for marijuana, I replied, "Yup. They don't care about that." She asked me how long it had been since I last used marijuana, I held in my hit and counted to 5 Mississippi and replied "5 Seconds." Doesn't help in your situation but I knew the only thing they'd find in my pee was a quarter lb of weed which they'd already told me didn't matter.

Good luck, may the force be with you and your condoms not burst in your pants.

 

[ClaytonNewbilFontaine]

I forgot the fucking Thermometer. I have to go back tomorrow

 

[ClaytonNewbilFontaine]

@TCH for Christ's sake you're the luckiest guy I know, wish me luck!

 

[TCH]

@TCH for Christ's sake you're the luckiest guy I know, wish me luck!

Good luck, homie!!!!

 

[HGCC]

Good luck, I have used the synthetic a few times with success. It was similar to what you are doing.

I would recommend keeping your condom o pee up by your balls to keep it warm. Wear baggy-ish khakis and a nice shirt. Don't look like a guy that would be trying to hide a container o urine on their person.

 

[DarkWeb]

Can you keep the condom in your ass?

 

[DarkWeb]

Asking for a friend

 

[PadawanWarrior]

Im hella nervous about this. I've got clean piss in a condom, 2 condoms actually. I've done this before and succeeded but also have failed bc I let the pee get too cold. What I do is keep them in my sock wrapped in a hand warmer. It keeps it about 120°. I bring a Thermometer and when it gets down to 100° I cut it with a tiny pair of scissors and dump it in the cup. Should be easy, but there's a chance i could spill it. This job is a very good opportunity for me and I'd be making the best money I've ever made. Please wish me luck. I was thinking about scanning the ground for a lucky penny before I go in.

Wear tighty whities and keep it down your pants. I use to do that all the time in outpatient.

 

[xtsho]

I wonder what happens to those that go in for a drug test thinking they just have to give a urine sample and then find out that it's a hair sample.

 

[PadawanWarrior]

I wonder what happens to those that go in for a drug test thinking they just have to give a urine sample and then find out that it's a hair sample.

Say you've wife's having a baby and run out. Go home and shave, and go back the next day.

 

[MICHI-CAN]

My boss' always hired by quality of weed contributed.

F-n drug tests. We know if your too medicated work.

Good luck.

 

[DarkWeb]

Say you've wife's having a baby and run out. Go home and shave, and go back the next day.

And nobody ever noticed.......


Just say you where vacuuming for your wife and you tripped....your hair got sucked up and had to be cut off. Aaaaaand we know you're 15........

 

[ClaytonNewbilFontaine]

The fucking place was closed! No prior warning, nothing! I had EVERYTHING ready and I get to the door and it says "due to staffing issues, this location is closed". I didn't have time to drive an hour and a half to the open location before they closed for the day. I about lost my damn mind. I was already having a terrible day with the power being out and me sitting here on my day off stressing about bud rot. How many different ways can you Google "how fast can bud rot form"? At least 15 different ways. That's why I didn't leave earlier to go take the test. I wanted to shower and clean up, look professional and then go. I'm sitting here hour after hour waiting for the power so I can shower. Finally I just said fuck it and I went the workers route. I didn't clean up, I put on my construction work cloths and work boots and my story was I was coming directly after work. Now I've gotta get new piss, new condoms and clean them, bc they do not carry non lubricated condoms anywhere anymore, I gotta wash the lube off, more hand warmers, and now I've gotta drive 1.5 hours to get to the place that's open. I hope it's open, no one answers the phone at any of these locations. And when I got home from all this bullshit, with groceries, at 5:30pm, the power was still out! Fml

 

[ClaytonNewbilFontaine]

Say you've wife's having a baby and run out. Go home and shave, and go back the next day.

She's actually about 6 months along right now. We're due in mid December.

Edit: I was going to stop for whitie tighties omw out there but didn't have any time. It bulges out pretty far in my sock. I think the boots help, but if someone was looking at the right time, like while I was walking they'd prob notice it. But I've got so much extra room down by my balls I could stuff 5 of them in there and no one would notice a thing. Haha

 

[TCH]

She's actually about 6 months along right now. We're due in mid December.

Congratulations!!!

 

[Drop That Sound]

Someday i'm gonna be the boss, and only the people with the highest thc metabolytes/nanograms on their analysis will get the job.

I'll make them do hair or fingernail test with chain of custody, so they can't cheat by tampering with the samples.

 

[MICHI-CAN]

She's actually about 6 months along right now. We're due in mid December.

Just a freaky side note to this scenario. I know one and worked with others wife type accounts. They used pregnant wifes urine and were denied or fired for transgender BS. Should be in Ripley's. Careful.