Blaze & Daze
- Thread starter Laughing Grass
- Start date
laddyd
Well-Known Member
Am I the asshole? My sister in law has asked us to be caretaker for her son while they go on a cruise. Her husband is dying of cancer and this was a last wish for him.
Her son is a grown man about 27 years old with mental problems. Every single time she has gone on vacation or left him alone for any length of time he has attempted suicide. So far he has crashed 2 cars and jumped off of 4 different balconies. I said no way will we babysit him period. I'm willing to be his guardian in conjunction with a 24 hour caretaker but will not be the caretaker. So it looks like we won't be going to Houston at the end of August and the sister in law stopped talking to us.
Her son is a grown man about 27 years old with mental problems. Every single time she has gone on vacation or left him alone for any length of time he has attempted suicide. So far he has crashed 2 cars and jumped off of 4 different balconies. I said no way will we babysit him period. I'm willing to be his guardian in conjunction with a 24 hour caretaker but will not be the caretaker. So it looks like we won't be going to Houston at the end of August and the sister in law stopped talking to us.
TCH
Well-Known Member
I don't think so at all. It definitely sounds like he needs a 24 hour professional caretaker. And if she's not talking to you because of that, that sounds like a her problem.
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Laughing Grass
Well-Known Member
husita
Well-Known Member
Found some steak meat in a fridge. Meat, meat meat, and bread. I´m feeling much better now and searching for beer.
StareCase
Well-Known Member
Nope ... not at all. I would do the exact same thing. You have admitted that you can't care for that kind of person and that should be respected.
Grab some cheese if you run across any!
No, the adult needs placement while they are away. His mental health provider should be able to help them find a solution with the guys social worker. Hope they listen to you because they need time away and he needs skilled mental health care no family member can provide.
laddyd
Well-Known Member
Unfortunately this is Texas and there are no social workers or places for people like him. The choices are jail, home or the street. She needs a full time nurse or some such thing. The last time he was on the street he ended up in jail 100 grand poorer after some prostitutes latched on to him and cleared out his bank account.
shnkrmn
Well-Known Member
You're still NTA. The bucket list cruise seems irresponsible and if it's that important, budget should include necessary care for a family member.
She may wish to check into respite care for her son:
Like you say TX might not cover her but it's worth a look. Sorry you're getting blow back but better to say no now then having something tragic you can't stop occur.
tyler.durden
Well-Known Member
How did he have access to $100,000? If the family is that wealthy I wouldn't think it would be a problem to hire skilled help.
Stiickygreen
Well-Known Member
I hear ya. I'm living vicariously here. SO MUCH going by on the screen I can't eat...and a bunch of stuff I won't eat
...LOL. I'm on tap to see a Nutritionist so we can mesh our specific diet needs together a bit better...if possible. The carb watching/sugar reduction/Keto/yaddawhateveritis/etc. has us both dropping weight and neither of us really needs to. My wife weighs less now than when she was in 8th grade....and 10 pounds less than when I married her. Better than the other side of the coin though., IMO.No. That's serious shit right there...and WAAAYYYYY above most folks capabilities/skill set/patience levels. I worked in Special Needs at my kids elementary school and it's a very stressful gig....and that was with kids you could pick up/control/etc. Adults? Wow...that's a different ballgame altogether...especially with the details provided for this particular human. Tough stuff.
All you can do is show care and let them have their tantrums. Not your responsibility. Not at all.
When I ran the Hydraulic shop in Alaska some POS commercial fisherman left a junker in the middle of the parking lot & went fishing for WEEKS!Will the HOA allow that?(snickers)
.
I hate hearing about folks getting ragged on...but be glad someone GAF. We've had an abandoned, rat poop-filled RV (since Jan 30) sitting on Federal property down the road just a bit from us...but even after multiple contacts with both BLM and the local Fife's...nobody seems to GAF/wants to take any responsibility for removing it. The fuckers even had the balls to tell me >I< should pay to have it removed. Um...no assholes...you work for us. Remember?
I did learn a lesson though. It's best to not say anything and hook that sucker up/drag it into the middle of the road...THEN CALL AND REPORT IT!
Showing concern and I.D.'ing myself cut my options damn short....as have the dry conditions here.
After trying to have it towed (no luck there) for a couple of days I picked it up with my 8000 lb forklift (not giving a shit what kind of damage the forks caused) and dropped it in the middle of the road and let nature take it's course.
shnkrmn
Well-Known Member
That would last me a year, but I don't smoke joints!
StareCase
Well-Known Member
Years ago, 3 - 4 tokes from a pipe twice a night was all I would smoke. That was maybe 1/3 gram per day. With the prices of weed the way they once were, conservation was paramount. But my, how those times have changed. With pulling ~3/4 lb. every 9 to 10 weeks, smoking 2.5 grams per day has become the average.