He cheated on me and had a kid....with his ex

[madazz]

Thank you all so much for helping me.

I went walking this morning and I felt a little better.

And I think these are definitely true:

"You're not crazy, he's an asshole who makes you want to do crazy things. It isn't your fault, it's his"

"that is easier said than done.... emotional wounds heal hard and slow...."


Its just hard letting go of someone that WAS my entire life.

I still want to be his friend. Because truthfully, I don't think I can
just cut someone off who was my best friend for 2 years, and

my lover for 2 years. (adding up to 4 years)

I just don't understand why he did it. I was there for him
when she broke up with him and he couldn't stop crying for 3 months.

I was the one he was calling everyday to help him get over
her. And then he does this to me?

(she cheated on him 4 times)
He knew how it felt to be cheated on, so I didn't understand
why he did it to me knowing how much it hurts.

I don't know. But I need to find something to occupy my time
so I can stop thinking about it.

I'm going to quit smoking for a while, because when I'm sad,
smoking just makes it worse for some reason. I always end up
crying.

She WILL cheat again! once a cheat always a cheat, i understand he was your life my ex was my 1 and only for around 8 years i dropped all my friends like a sack of shit. But i've made better new ones now and i'm a better person for it.

U will meet people again think about calling some of your old friends for a catch up go from there u may even meet some guy who'll sweep u off your feet!

Good luck

Madazz

 

[Louis541]

What u cant understand what she went through ? u must be thick

Yeah, because endangering her kids is really the smartest thing to do here.

 

[purplekitty7772008]

What u cant understand what she went through ? u must be thick

thank you. obviously, the person who posted that doesn't know what
it feels like to be lied to for 2 whole years, and realize that your whole
relationship was a lie. Especially when the relationship was the only
thing keeping me happy in life.

This is so true!, I know what she is kin of going through same thing happened to me, but i'm male. Betrayal weather your feamle or male still hurts like shit and life seems so pointless and i know i didmnt wanna go on but things DKID get better i moved on and now its been for the best. Cause for once in 10 years i'm happy.

Relax like eveyone has said, it will be hard but things will get better they always do. He'll realise he fucked up. Don't u dare take him back 6 million other fish out there that would do right by you and give u the things u deserve.

Hope all works out for you and remember everything will get easier as time goes by.

Madazz

Yeah, I guess I'm not the only one. And he already realized he fucked up.
I know he regrets it, and he has said sorry countless times. But I had to be honest with him and tell him the truth; saying sorry isn't going to take back

what you did, and it wasn't going to make me feel any better. it also
isn't going to make the kid go away either.

I know its wrong to try

and make someone choose between their child and a spouse, so I made
the decision for him.

hey hey there. hang in, it's tough, and will stay tough for a while, but hand in. i have a very similar story, best friend, only friend really, i'm very close with someone, he comes down for a weekend, takes her away, knocks her up, that kind of thing, next thing i know he's down secrectly during weekends to see her without my knowing. so yeah, i've kinda expereinced some crap, just from the male side of things, but i took it with some female emotions, got VERY depressed, tore myself into ribbons, lashed out at people trying to help me. in the end my only option was to cut both of them outta my life, somnething that also nearly destroyed me, and i still years on have issues putting the meories aside without choking up.

but hey, i'm now one kick ass human being, i went out and got a full time job smoking weed, a full time job working, i keep myself occupied when i get a little low and i stay away from downers like a bottle of beer or two in the bath, and life jsut smiles back on the whole.

really feel for you, hope everything doesn't become too much (that is to say i think i am most people here would agree that killing him, while the positives overweigh the negatives, well, it's still not smart you gotta do something that he has to live with ))

Thanks for telling me your story. It feels better knowing I'm not the
first, last, or only one who has been hurt this bad.

End/thread. This girl doesn't want our help...she's a glutton for punishment.

If I didn't want help, I wouldn't be on here asking. Obviously.
I never said I wanted to get back with him. Actually, I told him
I want to go cold turkey until I know I don't have feelings for him anymore.

Just because I'm willing to be his friend after what he did, doesn't mean
I deserve to be hurting the way I am now. You sir, are mean.

You tried to attack her while she was in her car with her son? Go get on meds for the protection of the general public.

Actually, yes. But do you really think I'm that crazy to hurt an innocent
baby? No, I wouldn't lay a finger on their child because I know if

anyone ever touched my niece or nephew (babies), I would be looking to seriously kill someone. The child didn't do anything to hurt me, why would
I hurt him?

i may not give a crap about the child, but that doesn't mean I would
try and hurt him. I had no intentions of hurting him, hell I don't even

like looking at his pictures.

I just hate her. She specifically told me "bitch, just wait, I'm gonna beat your ass".

Then for months and months she taunts me, calls me names, is calling
me out to fight her, but when I confront her about it, she sits there

looking scared and stupid as if she never said any of those things to me?


No. I don't think so. She should have known that when she was talking
shit to me, that she should have been prepared to back it up because

obviously, I'm not the person to test.

I'm pretty sure she thought she would never see me again after she
dropped out of high school, which is probably why she was saying all

that crap. But I guess she thought wrong now didn't she?

 

[purplekitty7772008]

Yeah, because endangering her kids is really the smartest thing to do here.

The kid wasn't in danger. She was.

I have no intention of hurting a baby Louis.
I'm not that evil.

Babies are innocent. Just because that baby came about from
him cheating on me with her, doesn't mean he deserves to be hurt.

He did nothing to me for me to want to hurt him. He's a baby
for crying out loud, he doesn't know what his parents did to me.

You seriously act like I want to hurt a child.

 

[Louis541]

Because she's so scared for not abandoning her son to fight the crazy person. Sorry, I know it sucks but you were way out of line.

I've been cheated on as well, I just sucked it up and got on with life.
I know what it's like to be cheated on. You obviously don't know what it's like to have kids.

You can't attack someone without runnin the risk of hurting someone within 3 feet of them. Suppose you kicked her car and set off the passenger side airbag and broke that kids neck... It's a long shot but the possibilities are endless.

 

[TheMightyS]

Right lovee, we've all been there but maybe not to that sort of extremes.

Firstly, you need NEED to acknowledge hes not the one, yu dont say; 'i dont want you seeing her' you say; 'i dont care about you anymore, you mean nothing'.

It doesn't matter if he still does, it will fade away i promise. Someone like that doesn't deserve your time or energy. You've got 3 pages of people offering you help and advice on here, proving that the people are there.

About loosing your friends, ring them up, explain to them what happened, if anything it'll make you closer. Friends aren't for a few minutes, you can leave a friend for a few years and if they are a true friend they will be there for you, try it. Whats the worst that could happen?

As for him, delete his number, delete everything you know / assign about him, it may seem hard at first because you'll be thinking in your head; 'but i might need his number at some point', you've gotta try and sway that away because although semi true, in the current circumstances it isn't for the best.

I'm here if you wanna get your words out to a stranger and we'll have a little chat, pm me anytime, i've got time spare at the moment so i wouldn't mind turning that frown upside down

 

[gogrow]

The kid wasn't in danger. She was.

I have no intention of hurting a baby Louis.
I'm not that evil.

Babies are innocent. Just because that baby came about from
him cheating on me with her, doesn't mean he deserves to be hurt.

He did nothing to me for me to want to hurt him. He's a baby
for crying out loud, he doesn't know what his parents did to me.

You seriously act like I want to hurt a child.

you'll have to excuse him.... some people have never been angry/passionate and lost their tempers; thus acting in a way they normally would not

 

[TheMightyS]

Especially when the relationship was the only
thing keeping me happy in life.

Your assumption jumping, think of the things you DID whilst in the relationship? Smoke? Dance? Go out? All of those things can still be enjoyed. Just with other people.

I'm pretty sure if Brad Pitt came up to your door and offered you a night out you'd be happy and enjoy it? Yu wudn't sit at home dwelling surely?

This proves that it ISN'T the only thing making you happy, analysis more. I've studied into the mind for YEARS and learnt quite a lot. If your into the whole controlling the mind to make you feel better i know quite a few ways to do this, i dont currently exercise them because im in quite a relaxed state but i'd be happy to share them.

Over & out.

 

[purplekitty7772008]

Because she's so scared for not abandoning her son to fight the crazy person. Sorry, I know it sucks but you were way out of line.

I've been cheated on as well, I just sucked it up and got on with life.
I know what it's like to be cheated on. You obviously don't know what it's like to have kids.

You can't attack someone without runnin the risk of hurting someone within 3 feet of them. Suppose you kicked her car and set off the passenger side airbag and broke that kids neck... It's a long shot but the possibilities are endless.

Actually, if you want me to be honest, I was going to try and pull her out of the car. Like I said, I wouldn't hurt a child and have no intentions of trying. And why do people seem to think I would want to damage property?

My ex thought I was going to fuck with her house just because I know
where she lives, but I don't give a crap about her house, or her car,
or the kid.

I only give a crap about hurting her, because she and my ex hurt me, and
on top of that, she was always taunting me and calling me names.

I'm sorry, but I was taught to never let people walk all over you and
say things to you that you don't like. So I wasn't about to just sit

there and continue to let her do those things to me.

 

[purplekitty7772008]

Your assumption jumping, think of the things you DID whilst in the relationship? Smoke? Dance? Go out? All of those things can still be enjoyed. Just with other people.

I'm pretty sure if Brad Pitt came up to your door and offered you a night out you'd be happy and enjoy it? Yu wudn't sit at home dwelling surely?

This proves that it ISN'T the only thing making you happy, analysis more. I've studied into the mind for YEARS and learnt quite a lot. If your into the whole controlling the mind to make you feel better i know quite a few ways to do this, i dont currently exercise them because im in quite a relaxed state but i'd be happy to share them.

Over & out.

Actually, I didn't really go out while we were together because he was
always bitching about me not calling him while I was out, and he was

very insecure.

But I would love to hear some of the mind things.

Just occupying my time on here is doing loads for me.
I only cried twice today (cried all day until my head hurt, and my eyes were dry monday and tuesday)


I think RIU is helping. I love all of you guys. kiss-ass

lol.

 

[purplekitty7772008]

you'll have to excuse him.... some people have never been angry/passionate and lost their tempers; thus acting in a way they normally would not

lol.

I guess I can excuse him. I just want him to understand that I would
NEVER hurt a child. It just seems like he is thinking that I want to intentionally
hurt a baby, and that is not the case.

 

[Louis541]

Ok, so you yank yer out the window, and she accidentally kicks her kid in the head. Or hits the window and shatters the glass all over her kid. Just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean it won't happen.

Everyone in the thread who is condoning the violence is retarded. I understand you're mad, but they are probably laughing right now because he knows he got the best of you. Is that really how you want him to remember you? Best thing to do is calmly tell him to eat shit and die. Why'd you attack her? What did she do to you? It's him you should of been mad at. This isn't the worst thing that is going to happen in your life, by a long shot. But you seem too immature to understand this.

 

[gogrow]

Ok, so you yank yer out the window, and she accidentally kicks her kid in the head. Or hits the window and shatters the glass all over her kid. Just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean it won't happen.

Everyone in the thread who is condoning the violence is retarded. I understand you're mad, but they are probably laughing right now because he knows he got the best of you. Is that really how you want him to remember you? Best thing to do is calmly tell him to eat shit and die. Why'd you attack her? What did she do to you? It's him you should of been mad at. This isn't the worst thing that is going to happen in your life, by a long shot. But you seem too immature to understand this.

nobody... at least not me is condoning violence.... just saying that sometimes people do things that arent anywhere near their normal behavior... it cant always be helped... i think violence is wrong in this situation, but at the same time i understand WHY and where it came from.... i've blacked out in a rage before and really fucked some shit up.... i would never do that normally... but I wasnt really there at the moment.... cut her some slack bro.

 

[Sunnysideup]

Louis is bringing up a good point, though he brings it to the table in the 'Louis' way....
Hopefully she thinks of that if she has another encounter with him or his girl.....Gotta watch out for the kids.

 

[Jerry Garcia]

Sucks purplekitty...some guys are just assholes. What can you do but be glad it's not YOUR kid right?

I think you're doing the right thing by seeking out advice/consolation, even if it is on a marijuana growing website.

It is important at this juncture in your life not to forget you do have friends. You said that you sort of abandoned them when you starting getting serious with jerkfaceloser...that happens all the time. If they are your friends they will understand and be there for you. Just surround yourself with people who love you and things will start to look up.

And you've always got friends on RIU...

 

[purplekitty7772008]

Ok, so you yank yer out the window, and she accidentally kicks her kid in the head. Or hits the window and shatters the glass all over her kid. Just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean it won't happen.

Everyone in the thread who is condoning the violence is retarded. I understand you're mad, but they are probably laughing right now because he knows he got the best of you. Is that really how you want him to remember you? Best thing to do is calmly tell him to eat shit and die. Why'd you attack her? What did she do to you? It's him you should of been mad at. This isn't the worst thing that is going to happen in your life, by a long shot. But you seem too immature to understand this.

Why do you steadily come up with these weird situations that could "possibly" hurt the baby?

She wouldn't be able to kick him in the head because car seats face the opposite way of the driver.

I wouldn't be able to break the window on the car. I didn't plan on pulling
her thru the window anyway. lol. I planned on punching her, unlocking
the door, then pulling her out.

Windows on cars are especially made to shatter into little pieces
in case of accidents so the glass doesn't cut the passengers. I don't
know if you knew that or not, but even if I did try pulling her thru

the window, it wouldn't break because its tempered glass.

And I didn't attack her, I was yelling at her to get out of the car so I could
beat her up. I never said I attacked her, just that I wanted to.

And I am mad at him. I hate and love him at the same time. You have
no idea how bad I made him feel, but it still isn't enough for me.

oh...I don't think anyone here is condoning violence, actually, I don't
remember reading a post where someone told me to still go after her.

Everyone is telling me to keep my cool because it isn't worth it.
And I'm starting to realize that.

 

[purplekitty7772008]

Sucks purplekitty...some guys are just assholes. What can you do but be glad it's not YOUR kid right?

I think you're doing the right thing by seeking out advice/consolation, even if it is on a marijuana growing website.

It is important at this juncture in your life not to forget you do have friends. You said that you sort of abandoned them when you starting getting serious with jerkfaceloser...that happens all the time. If they are your friends they will understand and be there for you. Just surround yourself with people who love you and things will start to look up.

And you've always got friends on RIU...

Thank you Jerry.

Actually, I was thinking about that and I am very glad its not my kid.
I would be totally fucked. lmao.

Everyone who helped gets a +Rep.

 

[purplekitty7772008]

nobody... at least not me is condoning violence.... just saying that sometimes people do things that arent anywhere near their normal behavior... it cant always be helped... i think violence is wrong in this situation, but at the same time i understand WHY and where it came from.... i've blacked out in a rage before and really fucked some shit up.... i would never do that normally... but I wasnt really there at the moment.... cut her some slack bro.

thank you gogrow.

Louis, just to let you know. I am a very nice person. And I usually
don't do things like this, but when I saw him driving her car, and hugging

her (hugged her twice actually) my emotions went out of control.
There was no way I could help it. And just to put this out here,
I did actually plan on staying in the house until he came in,

but when I see him rolling up in her car behind the wheel, and giving her
hugs, and voluntarily holding her drink to her mouth for her, I lost it.


I'm sorry you've never been so angry that you did something that

may not have been the right thing to do.

 

[tnrtinr]

Dump the dude. Let the two of them have each other. He obviously does not respect you.

 

[FM420]

Live and let live Kitty, if what you say is true about the fella phoning you everyday and going through that break up, then for him to turn around do the same to you, he does not deserve the time of day...plain and simple. Can't let yourself sit and mope about, feeling down and out (I know, I know its easier said than done) because you can bet yer bottom dollar him and his new girl aren't...not one bit.

I'd say go out and get involved in new activities and hobbies, find something you even have a mild interest in and run with it...part of liking something is also learning to like it so even if you don't go crazy for at it first, stick with it and as you learn more and gain knowledge you'll start to enjoy and like it more...and then there's no stopping ya ...it will also be a great oppurtunity for you to make new friends and aquantaces and in turn they'll help you through this tough time, even though they might not know it.

I fell head over heels for a girl who in turn was head over heels in love with my best friend and when I found out it was like a bomb went off! I was devastated to say the least and after a month or so of constantly thinking and doing my own head in I said to myself I can't go on like this forever I'm a right grumpy bastard lol so I started lifting weights and working out, got really involved in sea fishing (it was an old passion before I turned 18 and started getting wasted every weekend) and started reading more, learning more and just generally keeping myself busy...now im in shape (and also met a bunch of friendly helpfull people from the gyms I go to), I've honed my sea fishing skills more than I thought I ever could have, I've read more books than I know what to do with and gained vast amounts of knowledge and enjoyment from doing so...and the best thing, I stopped thinking about this girl a long long time ago. It just takes time, effort and also a willingness to move on and you eventually will.

Keep the chin up