dukeofbaja
New Member
So, I was scanning Craigslist ads for a job. I normally see 2-3 ads for my previous employer, who basically did a constructive discharge on me and don't want me back because it costs less to fire me and hire someone new for cheap. Oh well, I understand, it makes perfect sense.
But today, I saw an ad of theirs disguised, unlike I've seen in 8 months. So I thought I would send them my resume, and this cover letter because....why not? It's funny for me, they will get a kick out of it too. Keep in mind, I became a manager there, they promoted me because I excelled at the position they are advertising for...
To whom it may concern,
It is with a hyperbolic amount of interest that I would like to apply for the non-scripted customer service position you recently posted on craigslist.org. I am the candidate you are searching for, so you can put down all those other resumes and have a cool beverage now. I have enclosed my resume and am willing to submit personal and professional references, all who will attest to the fact that I set new standards of excellence for my fellow employees to behold, while saving the company the money.
I will guarantee that I excel in every bullet point of the required skills listed in your ad, and certainly meet the criteria so uniquely described in the 'YOU ARE' section. To further seal the deal, I have experience that your run of the mill, mundane, everyday candidate does not: experience delighting millions of movie watchers in a 24/7 call center environment in (town omitted). Beat that!
Although I attempt to enumerate the enormity of my personal and professional achievements in my resume, the acme and pinnacle of all resumes ever, I suggest a meeting in person to further assert my perfection in this role of non-scripted customer service. I await your reply.
Best Regards,
(dukeofbaja)
But today, I saw an ad of theirs disguised, unlike I've seen in 8 months. So I thought I would send them my resume, and this cover letter because....why not? It's funny for me, they will get a kick out of it too. Keep in mind, I became a manager there, they promoted me because I excelled at the position they are advertising for...
To whom it may concern,
It is with a hyperbolic amount of interest that I would like to apply for the non-scripted customer service position you recently posted on craigslist.org. I am the candidate you are searching for, so you can put down all those other resumes and have a cool beverage now. I have enclosed my resume and am willing to submit personal and professional references, all who will attest to the fact that I set new standards of excellence for my fellow employees to behold, while saving the company the money.
I will guarantee that I excel in every bullet point of the required skills listed in your ad, and certainly meet the criteria so uniquely described in the 'YOU ARE' section. To further seal the deal, I have experience that your run of the mill, mundane, everyday candidate does not: experience delighting millions of movie watchers in a 24/7 call center environment in (town omitted). Beat that!
Although I attempt to enumerate the enormity of my personal and professional achievements in my resume, the acme and pinnacle of all resumes ever, I suggest a meeting in person to further assert my perfection in this role of non-scripted customer service. I await your reply.
Best Regards,
(dukeofbaja)
Humor, direct, informative, catchy. 
