hey hey hey! wassup my fellow "get me high or fuck off & die!" brothas! i just got banned at grass city when an indica troll that hates my couchlock contempt weaseled me into a ban. that's OK, because there just wasn't enough love for getting high there AND there's no smoke report forum and i ONLY do smoke reports as grow reports that are all pics and minutae of grow details with no clue how the shit actually smokes only pisses me off!
with that introduction out of the way, this info should prove interesting to anyone looking for gear that gets you high and be able to directly compare everything to the TRIPPY awesome columbian gold that i STARTED OUT smoking and that spoiled me for getting high only forever. the first 2 indicas i smoked ($8 for about a gram each as that's all i had at the time) did nothing but piss me off for NOT GETTING ME HIGH! i hope you enjoy these descriptions in your quest for headstash grade buds.
columbian gold it's the very first strain i ever smoked and to this day, still the best! compared to today's hybrids, it's pine cone scented buds look scrawny & fluffy without much resin, but don't let that fool you because the shit is POTENT! 4 one hitters will make the room start spinning and give you serious make it stop!" nausea. when you're in the zone though. it makes EVERYTHING funner with laugh your ass off euphoria. the really fun part though is the total heightening of all of your senses. movies & music look & and sound more real, junk food tastes orgasmic, you get that light giddy feeling in your gut that turns into a light floating feeling like you're always walking downhill. after a month of wake & bake, you need to take a week or 2 vacation to detox & get your tolerance back down and it starts to get stoney when you do it alot and in large doses, but it's definitely more motivational than tiring. it's too bad it's extinct in the market place.
haze skunk (high quality seeds) looks more indica than sativa seed's (nirvana) discontinued H19 x skunk version, but the smoke kicks butt! it has less psychoactivity than gold, but has higher potency and is much stickier. there's not too much expansion. i REALLY want to try their thai skunk & compare it with the haze & their kerala skunk too. i'd hedge a bet that the thai is the trippiest one, but that's it's also the fussiest brat too as pure highland thai is a slow light starved hermie bitch to grow, but it's tutti fruity odor when you pan fry leaf & early bud is extra sexy. i wasn't too keen on it's mild but disgusting cigar under the nose flavor, but the buzz is great and eventually it starts building in your system so you wake up with a mild buzz and eventually get a constant low grade nausea from it that's easy to ignore as it's motivation level keeps you busy. it has just a hint of couchlock, but it never overpowers the motivation level. it takes longer than many strains to grow, but has a really cool "one little bud ever 2-3 inches" stretchy budding pattern that makes harvesting easy and if you SCROG it, you'd get a really nice yield with a lot of buds.
8 miles high (mandala) was the first regular REAL high i had in 25 years when i tried some last year. i love it's refined manners. it does nothing wrong & hits so many euphoric buttons like a lover that knows EXACTLY how to touch you. it's perfectly neutral in the energy... there's no couchlock, but no raciness either and it works for chilling, even sleeping or vigorous activities. (the funner, the better). it has haze level euphoria at least with milder psychoactivity that still isn't shabby. it made me get into tunes & do the robot with a body effect that felt like super precise muscle control. as far as 1st love reunions go, 8 miles is a sweety that sits ABOVE vintage even kali mist because it hints at trippiness like the light rush you get when columbian gold starts to kick in. definitey requires further testing... for science sake... yeah. out of anything here but C99 maybe, it's also the most indoor friendly for DIY. it's supposed to have strawberry phenos (bred from strawberry cough?) but i don't recall anything notable about the flavor, maybe because i was too busy having fun. i consider it the best 24/7 strain because it doesn't mess with your energy and doesn't beat you down like purer IBLs. sometimes milder is better.
super cali haze i only got a cold stunted but DELICIOUS sweet grape "daisy" to test unlike growers complaining she stretches too much, but the buzz i got was pure haze! i'd need to test them side by side to name any significant differences, but i imagine some potency is lost, but without afghanicrapping on the THC. this is a top contender for breeding for THC & flavor with more compact strains. any date with this gal is gonna be hot! the REAL treat besides the highly euphoric buzz though is how the delicious haze flavor that's way more authentic than the barely detectable artificial blueberry sugar flavor of blueberry (both get their flavor from tutti fruity highland thai) without the annoying couchlock either.
C99 (joey weed... discontinued, but mosca has picked it back up and bred it for the "potent pineapple" pheno) is a very special plant with a very specialized buzz... it's great, as long as you have something to do and don't try to go to sleep on it! the buzz can be very euphoric & racy early on, but later on, probably due to THC degredation, it mellows into an alert & clearheaded high that still wants you to find something to do without nagging. as far as nags go though, joey's cindy's sweet side is a treat... sticky hazey grape low odor buds and she puts out quick. JW's gals clock in at 45 days with mosca's taking 50, but that version is supposed to be much more psychoactive if it's descriptions are accurate. JW's version smokes just like original kali mist, but doesn't have it's delicious burn your lips crushed red pepper flavor, but it's way more indoor and yield friendly. nowadays, kali mist has 12.5% more indica in it, so i can't report on it, but the buzz SHOULD be in the ballpark at least if maybe a little stonier. it's not a good strain for chilling out as it likes to keep you moving, but is perfect for work, running a marathon, or getting a date to fling her panties at the ceiling fan in record time. it's best as an activities only bud, not so much watching movies and listening to tunes like the more balanced to couchlocking strains.
durban poison i was gifted a gram of this by the same person that tosed me a kali mist bud in the late 90s and loved it's buzz. it didn't seem quite as trippy as gold, but i only had a gram and tried to make it last. it has a great euphoria level and no couchlock. the most distinctive thing about it is the flavor. it tastes exactly like you're smoking a stick of black licorice. EXACTLY. it's one of the most disgusting flavors in the world to me though, so i wasn't a fan of that and it's extremely expansive leading to lung busting woofing that is accompanied by dry heaves. that's probably where it gets it's poison nickname. compared to the stoney crap you can't get away from on the east coast though, it's totally worth enduring the flavor some might find delicious and even the dry heaves because when you get that light giddy feeling that tells you you're about to get high & not stoned, all is forgiven. it's a very exotic strain and is one of the most compact sativa IBLs, but it sure looks like it has some indica in it.
LSD (barney's farm) - yet another hazey & grapey strain with a very distinct personality. it is pretty compact and looks gorgeous when it starts flowering. when it does, expect those grapes to smell like they were sprayed by a male cat (not that strong though) with a side order of flowers. it's not an overpowering odor. but when you put your nose right in that beaver, it has a sickengly sweet odor that mellows to softer grapes later. the buzz is the weird thing. if 8 miles high has no idea what messing with your energy level with anything other than enthusiasm with a nice dose of euphoria & psychoactivity, then LSD goes to the other extreme by getting you high & stoned at the same time! it has mild psychoactivity and euphoria with a twist of motivation, but at the same time, it makes your eyelids instantly heavy. you can function a couple hours on it, but eventually it's stone will creep up on you and knock your butt out! i despise couchlock, but this strain doesn't beat you over the head with it right away and takes it's time getting to you (if anything should creep, it's couchlock!) this would be awesome for breeding with energetic C99 so each cancels the others' weaknesses... cindy wakes the acid up while the acid sparks her imagination. the already midrange LSD psychoactivity level would probably drop a notch though. someone's larger strain called mataro blue has a very similar buzz, but is larger and less grapey and not as sexy. LSD is very compact with dark olive green leaves with cool fishbone ribs on the leaves contrasted by thick & sticky snow white resin glands. the buds are very dense & moist too before curing.
onyx is a diesel strain with, to me, a really DISGUSTING, but not as much as cat piss, flavor from it's diesel genetics that so many swear by that i'll never understand. it tastes like licking the thick oil stains on the tarmac at a truck stop! i threw plants i grew near train tracks out for having that same disgusting taste, but much stronger. if i could get past the taste, it has a REALLY special high though. it's thought provoking and euphoric, but seemed extremely touchy feely & sensual. i ended up playing footsie with myself on it. i don't recall that exact effect from anything else i've smoked. if you could get that buzz in a better tasting strain, it would be the best strain for a date i could imagine.
as an old school toker who only likes to get high and knows how hard it can be to get decent smoke reports even when you beg & plead with someone trying to get you to try apollo 11 or super silver haze which you don't want to because they can couchlock, i hope that these reports will give any of you looking to try some high in your garden a good start on a strain that's best for your tastes.
my top three favorites for growing are:
haze skunk - for the wicked potency and highest psychoactivity, but it's a bit too much for 24/7 use
super cali haze - not as psychoactive, but way more delicious and refined. i imagine it's the lowest yielder, but i only had a 4 inch plant with about a gram of bud on my freebie
8 miles high - it simply does no wrongs and so many awesomes. it's the least potent of the three but NOT schawg! that gives it better 24/7 & noob friendly ability though and it's the best & fastest yielding by a longshot. it's TOTALLY practical and as close as you're likely to get to a cash cropping haze as MOST other so called "indoor sativas" like LA confidential, apollo 11. super silver haze, jack herer, red dragon, LSD, blue mataro, romulan, skunk #1 & medicine man (aka white rhino) are all compromised by couchlock which belongs to the indica family and makes one's high "lower".
Jack Herer is still my fav conniseuer sativa that I've had..great stuff! 
