The UK Growers Thread!

dura72

Well-Known Member
torran? unusual name, is it a family name? i thought my name was 'useless wee cunt ' until i was 18, then i became ' useless big cunt'.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
hes a wee bandit i was changin his nappy n he pissed twice on 2 fresh ones n the third he lit rip a massive vegmite fucker was absolutly stinkin lmao got to the 4th he was frowning at me as if he was sad he had nuthin else to fire out,was awsum haha

betta get back to the hospital thyev got some weird visitin times
visiting times? when ma wee boy was born i could visit any time at all, no restrictions, asked to leave if doc was in for check up/rounds etc but that was only 5 or ten mins. my bird was only in about 2 or 3 days , they dont fuckin hang around here, mind ur her fannny was that fuckin big the sprog just sliped out, was gonna ask the doc to put sum extra stitches in but he suggested gettin a welder tae spot and rivet a drain cover over it.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
Whenever I masturbate in front of a mirror, I always wear a wig and lipstick, just so it doesn't get weird.
 

sambo020482

Well-Known Member
any1 got any idea where i will find the cheapest 3g dongle will be? and these dongles that are a score with a gb included im guessing they are not 3g???
 

AcidTest

Member
two Qs about seedlings
should I use a heat mat under the pots in the humidity dome to provide a bit of bottom heat?
should I have the light on 24hrs or 20/4 or...? light is a 200W 6400K CFL
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
personally i stopped using a dome or any sort of lid after the seedling has actually popped thru and started showing leaf, i also used to have a heated propogator ( i dont have it any more coz the fuckin cops took it when i got busted) but never found it to be of much use. i only use a dome/propogator when i take cuttings. after they've popped i just spray them a few time a day with water. with a 200watt light you should be getting more than enuff heat to have them grow just fine. others of course may have different opinions.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
There were some hippie's protesting at the local council offices. They all had their "Save The Ancient Woodland" posters and banners. So I decided to go down there and take the piss
"Chop 'em all down, we need the logs ya hippy freaks!"
"Go away, you monster!" the hippies shouted.
I laughed, "you know they're going to do it so you're wasting your time. What are they building anyway, a motorway? An airport?
"A mosque," he replied.
I've been protesting with them for three days now.
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex (aka Politics of Fucking)

1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partner's mouth while you get off is hot. It depends on the situation.

3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up.

4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault.

5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after a while. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.

7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down your throats, sex is NOT just about women. Get over it.

8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.

9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to the signals that he's sending you.

10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

12. Not shaving your legs. If you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the Amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don't want to go bare. That's fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo-hoo dilly in your cha-cha. That's as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest you get some knee pads.

16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up drywall".

17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway. Go back to Junior High.

18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to cum, it's his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. There's an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say NO like it's an invitation, don't look surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.

22. Expecting him to undress you. Women put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.

23. Undressing in the dark. If you're shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

24. Refusing to get on top. There's no reason men should have to do all the work.

25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when he's touching you. Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. It's your choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

29. Refusing to let him take control. So you are a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.

30. Refusing to take control. It's ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start things all the time.

31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.

33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with the mess.

34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It's how you deal with it that really matters.

38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a threesome. It's the American dream. (Quick interjection - one request for a threesome is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god-awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

40. Nails. It's one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. It's another when you snag the goods with a claw.

41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen. That's the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and can't jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.

43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know it's not working, he's not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a little... fishy... perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved beforehand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have these rare Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.

47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all it's cracked up to be.

48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy". Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't, get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off. Mumbling "forget it" and rolling over are not ok.

50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.
 

AcidTest

Member
personally i stopped using a dome or any sort of lid after the seedling has actually popped thru and started showing leaf, i also used to have a heated propogator ( i dont have it any more coz the fuckin cops took it when i got busted) but never found it to be of much use. i only use a dome/propogator when i take cuttings. after they've popped i just spray them a few time a day with water. with a 200watt light you should be getting more than enuff heat to have them grow just fine. others of course may have different opinions.
cheers, any thoughts on the lighting? 24hrs non stop, or 20/4 or 18/6? I read it's good to start at 24/0 and gradually change to 12/12 over the first 2 to 3 weeks to avoid stress and hermies?
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
i usually go 24/0 until they're around 3" tall( normally bout 2 weeks), then 18/6 until around 2.5' tall (normally about 4 weeks) then flower 12/12 ,between 7 to 9 weeks. thats old school organic growing using cfls for two weeks(various wattage, depends what ive got lying around), vegging and flowering just depends again , sumtimes 400mh for veg sumtimes 600 or 1000 hps. depends on space available and temperature control. water and feed 2 or 3 times a weeks, keep a close eye onthem fo hermies but in general just leave thefuckers in peace. most common problem with new growers(and we've ALL done it) is to fuck around and panic. dont run around buying expensive shit, nutrients, fancy lights, most of its crap sold by snake oil salesmen. if its ur first grow just watch and learn, ask any question u want even if u think its stupid, u will get an answer, the uk thread has a lot of very experienced guys covering almost all styles of growing. if ur using feminized seeds watch for hermies, if u really want to avoid this issue buy a product called 'Dutch Masters reverse'. costs around 30 quid and will stop any probs apart from that have fun and dont stress yourself. we tend to become like parents of newborns at first.
 

WOWgrow

Well-Known Member
cheers, any thoughts on the lighting? 24hrs non stop, or 20/4 or 18/6? I read it's good to start at 24/0 and gradually change to 12/12 over the first 2 to 3 weeks to avoid stress and hermies?
I would go 18/6 or 20/4. people do fine with either of those but 24/0 just doesnt seem right, its not natural. and you can just change it to 12/12 whenever you want, it wont increase your chances of a hermie.
 

bamslayer

Active Member
Househunting time. Looking for a 2-3 bedroom detatched with garden and outbuildings. Come next year there's every possibility that i will hva e a bit of a monster of a grow on. Just gotta sort out some steady finance, making an affordable automated kief machine is one of my plans for a partial income among a couple of ideas.#

dude check out HEBEA on the search engine...


torran? unusual name, is it a family name? i thought my name was 'useless wee cunt ' until i was 18, then i became ' useless big cunt'.
yeah man liked that name for a long while,from norse /scottish history,means hill,small hill,tower/defence/watchtower/hammerfist/thor son/hammerfall/smithy lotsa mad interpretations
hes got big brick fists like his dad...n a frown t make sheep melt in his hands....lmao

visiting times? when ma wee boy was born i could visit any time at all, no restrictions, asked to leave if doc was in for check up/rounds etc but that was only 5 or ten mins. my bird was only in about 2 or 3 days , they dont fuckin hang around here, mind ur her fannny was that fuckin big the sprog just sliped out, was gonna ask the doc to put sum extra stitches in but he suggested gettin a welder tae spot and rivet a drain cover over it.
thats gud tho they have a tight female ward at nights,cant say that for the patiants tho eh!
 

dura72

Well-Known Member
a knew 'tor' was a scots word for hill, it one of those words that pop up regular in crosswords, didny know the rest of the interpretations. wel congrats anyway mate, ahve got ma wee lad tonite, he stays over usually 2 nites a week, jist me and him, he turned 2 in march. a fuckin adore bein a dad, greatest feelin in the world. i put him in his cot a while ago and heard him cry fo a few mins, just left him to it, went in to check ten mins later and there he was lying in the middle of my double bed under the quilt, cute as fuck. even at this stage i can see he's gonny have a lot of my characteristics, he's a cheeky wee sod but always with a smile and he's absolutely fearless. head first into anything. have fun mate, i can honestly say i'm so glad that i dont work becoz its meant i've spent a massive amount of time with him since the day he was born..these are the only truly important things in life.
 

bamslayer

Active Member
respect dude,my second name means hill aswell thot it was quite cooll eh,ur so right and sambo n jimmy sayin its some feeling!
cant believe hes ours it so strange1il havem tossin cabers,rapin n pilligin in nae time haha jus kiddin
my grampas bro sent me up a bottle of some serious glenfiddich hed had stashed for years to wet the babys head shal be ma last drink till new year bro.

I was gonna say guys,would yous all be interested in RIU/ganj pendants on chain cord?would i be breachin any copyrights?

was thinkin if peeps if i drew up some designs and other folk aswell and we all had a poll on whats coolest i could fire some up for the UK mofos.

im allsorts by trade but have been a silversmith for a couple years now and any feedback on this will be appreciated.

alllso im dyslexic so any help actually puttin up a thread for it would be cool as long as the RIU admins are cool with it.

my idea being RIU logos and medicinal ganj pendants /rings wotever in silver.

please post anythin t do with it or PM me guys Peace.


PS i have done tags in silver in the past on pendants on chains.Dunno if Don fancys that kinda shbaazz lol
 

Don Gin and Ton

Well-Known Member
Ta but no ta bam, I don't even wear a watch let alone jewellery lad. Your wee yin sounds a belter man! My lass wants bairns but I'm not too fussed. Fuck me I'm a handful but a team of mini me's.
 
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