Help With Best Legal/ Not Urine Tested Anti-Anxiety Meds PLEASE!

[Skuxx]

Hello folks! I've got myself in a bit of a dilema. I'm not really a fan of taking pharms, except to come down from other things like trips. But, I was recently put on probation for something, and have monthly drug tests. The last few times, I could HARDLY pee (like it took me 45 minutes to squeeze out a few drops even though I had to go REALLY bad). It was just the pressure of knowing that if I DON'T pee, I go to jail for at least 6 months. I shouldn't even worry, because I don't have any substances that would make me fail (even quit the wonderful herb). It's just the pressure, and the officer staring directly at my dick that makes it hard. So, my question is, is there anything legal, such as herbs, that might calm my nerves and make it easier to pee for these tests? I've heard kava kava and perhaps kratom.... is there anything else, or anything better? Thanks for help. Sorry if this is the wrong sections... This probation thing just really messes with my nerves.

Also, if there are any RCs that aren't urine tested, I'd be interesting in those as well. Although, I probably wouldn't know where to find them.

 

[BangBangNig]

From my experience, i wouldnt go to your probation officer on kratom.

 

[Skuxx]

From my experience, i wouldnt go to your probation officer on kratom.

Lol. Yeah, I hear it can intoxicate you similarly to opiates. I was hooked on opiates for long time.... so maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that (Plus opiates made it hard to pee sometimes, even when under NO pressure). I'm just looking for something that will calm my nerves, and help me piss in that dang cup! I hate urine tests if you can't tell! hehe

 

[NP88]

"the officer staring directly at my dick that makes it hard"


I've been watching arrested development lately, and this is something that Tobias would say lol


But seriously... I'm a shy pee'er as well, but I have never had to pee in front of someone for legal purposes.

For me, kava kava works sometimes, but not all of the time. Kratom is more like a pain killer, so if they would relax you, then perhaps that might do the trick.


Maybe you should consider a non-chemical method to help yourself relax. Look up some guided relaxation techniques to help you relax. Pay attention to your breathing. Take nice, slow breaths from the stomache, and focus on relaxing one muscle at a time, from your head to your toes. You're definitely not the only person that has trouble urinating on command, im sure...


Good luck, and I hope you successfully get off of probation soon!

 

[NP88]

Oh yeah, try drinking coffee before you have to go. Coffee always goes right through me, from both exits!

 

[BangBangNig]

Yeah i would just suggest drinking lots and lots of liquids like apple juice or coffee till your about to explode. But then you could just lock up when the dude starts starin at your dick and then you gotta wait another 30 minutes. Honestly i dont know what to tell you man. Maybe some anti anxiety rc's? but that shit could possibly mess with the test and get you in more trouble. I would hate to be in your position bro :[ but you will get through it, and maybe after you will have no problem pissin right in someones eyes

 

[NP88]

If you truly have an anxiety disorder, then you can ask your doctor to prescribe some xanax. If you are prescribed it, then you couldn't fail for testing positive.... But from the sounds of it, you just have stage fright! Watch the movie Waiting. One of the characters is a shy pee'er...

 

[Skuxx]

Thanks yall. I'll just drink a large cup of coffee, after a few bottles of water. Eventually the I don't give a fuck will overcome the anxiety haha. Plus, I'll just request that day off work, so I could sit up there all damn day if it takes.

And person above, I possible do have an anxiety disorder, but I wouldn't want to get prescribed anything as I am a super addicted person. I'm practicing meditiation and breathing techniques.

2/1/12 is when I'm finally free!

 

[Haddaway]

Hello folks! I've got myself in a bit of a dilema. I'm not really a fan of taking pharms, except to come down from other things like trips. But, I was recently put on probation for something, and have monthly drug tests. The last few times, I could HARDLY pee (like it took me 45 minutes to squeeze out a few drops even though I had to go REALLY bad). It was just the pressure of knowing that if I DON'T pee, I go to jail for at least 6 months. I shouldn't even worry, because I don't have any substances that would make me fail (even quit the wonderful herb). It's just the pressure, and the officer staring directly at my dick that makes it hard. So, my question is, is there anything legal, such as herbs, that might calm my nerves and make it easier to pee for these tests? I've heard kava kava and perhaps kratom.... is there anything else, or anything better? Thanks for help. Sorry if this is the wrong sections... This probation thing just really messes with my nerves.

Also, if there are any RCs that aren't urine tested, I'd be interesting in those as well. Although, I probably wouldn't know where to find them.

Etizolam is a great legal benzo, prescription in other countries besides USA. Feels 100x better than Xanax. OMG. I am craving them thinking about it.. Wow.. They are very addicting, on par with Quualudes almost, feel very similar too. <33333 them

 

[NP88]

Be careful not to drink too much fluids, because they will make you come in on another day if your urine is too dilute. Rather than drinking right before the test, drink an hour or two before, and just hold it in. That way, your urine will be less dilute. My understanding is that holding it in will give your kidneys time to filter out waste products which constitute urine. Otherwise, it will be mostly water.



Also, try smoking passion flower and or skullcap, that is, if you are not taking any SSRIs. I've smoked them together once, and it had a marijuana like high for about 30 minutes.

 

[Goldowitz]

St. Johns wort might work for you. I took some today for the first time. 600ml and it felt like I took Xanax. It seems like it would be great for anxiety.

 

[high|hgih]

Alcohol man, when I'm drunk a little I can piss like crazy, no one ever knows when I am or are not drunk. Just go to him a little tipsy, nerves will be gone and so will the pee

 

[NP88]

Alcohol would probably cause him to fail...

 

[DarthD3vl]

Alcohol would probably cause him to fail...

very likely, people failed at my probation office all the time, for that exact reason, they'd drink a 40, piss like crazy, come back next month and get arrested for drinking... but also knew people who got away with it..

 

[Skuxx]

Alcohol man, when I'm drunk a little I can piss like crazy, no one ever knows when I am or are not drunk. Just go to him a little tipsy, nerves will be gone and so will the pee

LMAO, yeah I'll take a few shots before going to my probation office... sounds like an awesome idea. jokes. Not to mention they could also randomly breath test me, since the charge was DUI (Stupid to drive like that... I know)

I'm going to try some st. johns wort a few days before I have to go in, to see how it makes me feel. If it has a similar effect as xanax, then I'll have no problem pissing with the officer there. It's not the the fact that he stands 2 inches in front of my cock that makes it hard to pee (that just helps add pressure).... it's also the thought that if I CAN'T pee, I go directly to jail, without passing go, for 90 days-6 months.

 

[NP88]

St johns wart supposedly will take a bit of time for the effects to build up, if I recall correctly...


It's an ssri

 

[Skuxx]

St johns wart supposedly will take a bit of time for the effects to build up, if I recall correctly...


It's an ssri

hmmm, darn. I think you are correct, sir... I just googled it and only took about 5 seconds to confirm what you said. I guess I'll stick with the original plan of just drinking so much that I can't hold it back any longer. They don't fail/ make you retest for dilution, since they stare at your penis, and when I couldn't pee last time, they said go drink more water then.... it started hurting so bad, but then I could still BARELY get out a trickle haha. So oh well. Thanks everyone. If anyone does find a magical anxiety herb then most certainly post it!

Really, I just need to work on relaxing techniques.

 

[NP88]

Try Passion flower. Smoked or consumed, it will relax you for a little while.

 

[high|hgih]

Shit I didn't realize they tested for alcohol too, and the breath test.. Yeah that was a retarded answer. lol

Never heard of the stuff their talking about, but if it works try it I guess