Pix That Make You LOL-Warning-SNWS

bobtokes

bobtokes

Well-Known Member
walking bank home along the river bank i noticed a man thrashing about in the water, shouting and screaming, "i can't swim" I said to him, " i can't play the piano but i don't make a big drama out of it "
 
Winter Woman

Winter Woman

Well-Known Member
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My Dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy , "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000."

The Dad says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now."



 
bobtokes

bobtokes

Well-Known Member
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . "Sod that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead." The operator says ” how do you know”? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest p*n*s she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg"

I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a superhero and the other is an instruction.

An old lady is being examined by the Dr. He asks have you ever been bedridden? She says “yes I have, and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few times too!”

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated, but must come back as a different creature. She said “ I would like to come back as a cow.” “ I said you’re obviously not listening…!”

I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said “ I love you.” She said “ Is that you or the beer talking” ? I replied “ it's me talking to the beer.”

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
 
RawBudzski

RawBudzski

Well-Known Member
Winter Woman is Amazing.
Winter Woman said:
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet.

The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy: "I have a baseball."
Man: "That's nice."

Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."

Boy: "My Dad's outside."
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy: "$750."
Man: "Sold."

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy , "Grab your glove, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."

The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy: "$1,000."

The Dad says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession."

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now."
Click to expand...
 
tip top toker

tip top toker

Well-Known Member
Might have posted this before but i'll post it again :D Are there dvd's available for the actual production or such? Nowt available on download sites other than bad strange versions :p
[youtube]ud3UOCu96zY[/youtube]
 
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