How to survive prison?

[40acres]

I'd also like to point out the way you can tell someone who has been inside. they will eat hunched over their food like someone is about to try to steal it from them. Arms out around it. I also somehow changed the way i hold my fork. My wife tells me I hold it as if i am about to either shovel something or stab someone.
The funny part is i don't remember ever not holding my fork like that now, and don't feel as if I am hunched over my food, but i see it in other people.

 

[jhandcock78]

My advice is keep any bottle corks they might just save your asses Virginity

Negative! If you give them a reason to want it they will get it. That cork will be residing somewheres south of your lower intestine. From my experience all I can say do your own time and mind your own business. Never look for trouble but never back down from it.

 

[passking]

Heres a typical day in a Parachute Regiment jail

0400.Get up...clean the cell...make a bed block...hook the bed to the wall.Wash shave.

0415.Stand to attention and wait for the cell to be inspected.

0430.Go for a ten mile run in battle dress with a fourty pound bergan (with wire straps on the shoulders) and old metal helmet without an inside...accompanied by a provo corporal.
The ten mile run is interspersed with forward rolls...battle crawls...running on the spot...sit ups....press ups....the length and quantity decided on by the corporal and wether he is a cunt or not.

0600.Quick march over to cookhouse for breakfast...marking time while you eat standing up.(marking time is marching on the spot)

0615.Back to cell to boot polish the cell floor and shine the cell dustbin.

0800.Clean out the jailhouse and all the un occupied cells.

0930.Quick march onto parade ground to pick up leaves...dog ends...twigs...bits of grit until 1030 hours where you get a mug of tea to drink.(1030 is a sacred tea drinking time in the British army...anywhere in the world...at 1030 the British army stops)...carry on picking until..

1300.Quick march over to the mess to eat dinner standing up and marking time.

1330.Out again for a ten mile run in battle dress without bergan but with a wombat anti tank round....following same procedure as the morning...squats...etc.
This run is a killer as you want to throw up all the food youve just crammed in.

1500.Paint anything that needs painting...or clean up the oil in the MT platoons garage...or weed the COs garden etc.

1800.March to cookhouse for tea...eaten standing up marking time.

1830.Over to jailhouse to wash and shower.

1700.Clean all your kit and iron it.Bull your boots so they look like mirrors.Bull the provo sergeants boots...provo corporals boots so they look like mirrors...clean the provo sergeants car.....clean the windows of the jailhouse with cold water and newspaper.

2000.Clean and oil all the weapons in the provo armoury.

2200.Cell inspection.

2230.Unhook the bed from the wall and make the bed...fold up all your clothes.

2300.Time for bed....if the provo staff are ok...they might give you a fag that you can smoke if nobodys about.

2330.Collapse into sleep.

0400. start again

 

[40acres]

Heres a typical day in a Parachute Regiment jail

0400.Get up...clean the cell...make a bed block...hook the bed to the wall.Wash shave.

0415.Stand to attention and wait for the cell to be inspected.

0430.Go for a ten mile run in battle dress with a fourty pound bergan (with wire straps on the shoulders) and old metal helmet without an inside...accompanied by a provo corporal.
The ten mile run is interspersed with forward rolls...battle crawls...running on the spot...sit ups....press ups....the length and quantity decided on by the corporal and wether he is a cunt or not.

0600.Quick march over to cookhouse for breakfast...marking time while you eat standing up.(marking time is marching on the spot)

0615.Back to cell to boot polish the cell floor and shine the cell dustbin.

0800.Clean out the jailhouse and all the un occupied cells.

0930.Quick march onto parade ground to pick up leaves...dog ends...twigs...bits of grit until 1030 hours where you get a mug of tea to drink.(1030 is a sacred tea drinking time in the British army...anywhere in the world...at 1030 the British army stops)...carry on picking until..

1300.Quick march over to the mess to eat dinner standing up and marking time.

1330.Out again for a ten mile run in battle dress without bergan but with a wombat anti tank round....following same procedure as the morning...squats...etc.
This run is a killer as you want to throw up all the food youve just crammed in.

1500.Paint anything that needs painting...or clean up the oil in the MT platoons garage...or weed the COs garden etc.

1800.March to cookhouse for tea...eaten standing up marking time.

1830.Over to jailhouse to wash and shower.

1700.Clean all your kit and iron it.Bull your boots so they look like mirrors.Bull the provo sergeants boots...provo corporals boots so they look like mirrors...clean the provo sergeants car.....clean the windows of the jailhouse with cold water and newspaper.

2000.Clean and oil all the weapons in the provo armoury.

2200.Cell inspection.

2230.Unhook the bed from the wall and make the bed...fold up all your clothes.

2300.Time for bed....if the provo staff are ok...they might give you a fag that you can smoke if nobodys about.

2330.Collapse into sleep.

0400. start again

never get court martialed in england.

 

[mattao21]

some good info there peoples, lol im just glad im in australia....our prisons arn't so bad here (got a few mates in already and know countless others who have been) i would like to think i'd go alright on the inside but i think my short fuze would get me into to much trouble....so i'll keep to being a good boy

 

[JohnnyBravo]

I've got a short fuse as well...As long as I'm bigger than you!....But if your bigger than me, I'm like....Seriously Dude, you better bring my girlfriend back when your done with her

 

[SHOOT2KILL66]

Negative! If you give them a reason to want it they will get it. That cork will be residing somewheres south of your lower intestine. From my experience all I can say do your own time and mind your own business. Never look for trouble but never back down from it.

I love when people make up a new name just to single post something so interesting, it just makes my day man...shoot lol

 

[Picasso345]

I don't know if it has been mentioned, but there is a book out there too. I haven't read it so no review from me.

Amazon.com: Behind Bars: Surviving Prison: Jeffrey Ian Ross,Stephen C. Richards: Books
In the 1960s, peace groups issued leaflets to their members on what to do if arrested during nonviolent demonstrations. Now two criminologists have come up with a guidebook on surviving the criminal justice system that is loosely modeled after these earlier leaflets. The crimes have expanded to include far more weighty ones than civil disobedience. Ross and Richards (coauthors, Convict Criminogy) offer advice on what to do if your front door is bashed in by police in a drug bust and how to avoid fatal legal mistakes. Writing in sections under topical headings, the authors follow an anonymous everyman (or woman) through an arrest, a trial, and an incarceration. The legal system they depict bears no resemblance to the one in school textbooks. It is the enemy. The authors describe different types of prisons and suggest how to deal with the correctional officers, the other inmates, and various types of discipline. Finally, they discuss making parole and returning to life on the outside. An appendix offers a glossary of prison slang and a statement about the status of prisons in America today. Overall, this is an absorbing, original book that should be required reading for criminal justice classes. Ostensibly intended for the person who is caught committing the crime, in reality Behind Bars gives the outsider an in-depth look at what it is like to be in prison in America today. Highly recommended for all libraries.
Frances Sandiford, formerly with Green Haven Correctional Facility Lib., Stormville, NY

 

[panhead]

I've got a short fuse as well...As long as I'm bigger than you!....But if your bigger than me, I'm like....Seriously Dude, you better bring my girlfriend back when your done with her

Your a silly dude,if i ever get your way were hanging out at the clubs dammitt,my treat.

 

[JohnnyBravo]

Your a silly dude,if i ever get your way were hanging out at the clubs dammitt,my treat.

Strip Clubs.....Your treat.....I'm ready When you are

 

[AwesomeDave]

this thread has really got me scared now...Im 6,8" with a taijutsu background so I can hurt people if I want to, but the atmosphere that you guys describe in this thread would fucking kill me. I also have some health problems that show up every now and then.....thank god I only grow for personal use, and in very limited amounts.

 

[40acres]

it is hard to get used to being in a predatory enviroment after living where you have never really had to. A real shock for some people.

 

[el1]

ive been inside for a year,and it really aint that bad,but i live in the uk,,prison in the states is different,theres much more politics involved,with gangs and racial seperation,,,id hate to do time in the states,,,oh and being rapped in uk prisons is very rare so you dont really need to worry about that,,,i didnt leave with a soar arsehole lol

Which prison were you in ? I spent a month in brixton and 5 months in blundeston before being deported.Not really a bad place if you dont get mix up in drugs.Fuck going to prison in america.Fags who rape each other , if you raped somone in a british prison , everyone else would beat the shit out of you for being a fag.

 

[el1]

I was scared when i first went down ,but after a few days it was just like being in the army. Cept alot less running.

I saw a few cats get their faces slashed up outside my cell for stealing heroin, and i smashed my cell mate over the head with a table for blowing smoke in my face , but he understood and i got my own cell afterwards so it all worked out.

 

[Isthisyourspecialbush]

Watch out for anyone being to nice, (rocking you to sleep), keep your haed up, never back down, be aert, Don't play tough guy. keep to yourself, IMO people are or act weak because they don't wan't to get hurt. Keep in your head the worst that could happen is death, Come to peace with death and know your day is already set, do what you need to do to survive. I've never done hard time but these lessons helped me and maybe someone on here will find them useful.


p.s god is stronger than any prison gang, rapist, faggot etc.

 

[el1]

Watch out for anyone being to nice, (rocking you to sleep), keep your haed up, never back down, be aert, Don't play tough guy. keep to yourself, IMO people are or act weak because they don't wan't to get hurt. Keep in your head the worst that could happen is death, Come to peace with death and know your day is already set, do what you need to do to survive. I've never done hard time but these lessons helped me and maybe someone on here will find them useful.


p.s god is stronger than any prison gang, rapist, faggot etc.

If youve never done hard time how the fuck did those lessons help you?

 

[40acres]

Watch out for anyone being to nice, (rocking you to sleep), keep your haed up, never back down, be aert, Don't play tough guy. keep to yourself, IMO people are or act weak because they don't wan't to get hurt. Keep in your head the worst that could happen is death, Come to peace with death and know your day is already set, do what you need to do to survive. I've never done hard time but these lessons helped me and maybe someone on here will find them useful.


p.s god is stronger than any prison gang, rapist, faggot etc.

I don't even know where to start with this. First, fred phelps, who are you tao call anyone a faggot?
Second, What are you a samurai doing bushido? All that come to grips with death bullshit id for movies and whackjobs. People that think they are conan get stabbed in the back. Where did you learn these lessons and how did they help you?
All the child molestors turn to jesus when they get inside. Turn to God if you want everyone to think you are a snitch or a child molestor. If you were scared and neede dgod, You shoud have taken your ass to church instead of going to prison.

 

[Isthisyourspecialbush]

I don't even know where to start with this. First, fred phelps, who are you tao call anyone a faggot?
Second, What are you a samurai doing bushido? All that come to grips with death bullshit id for movies and whackjobs. People that think they are conan get stabbed in the back. Where did you learn these lessons and how did they help you?
All the child molestors turn to jesus when they get inside. Turn to God if you want everyone to think you are a snitch or a child molestor. If you were scared and neede dgod, You shoud have taken your ass to church instead of going to prison.

first I don't know who the hel fred phelps is but your reply is ignorant. I'm not saying to turn into a camakazi or nut job but knowing in your own mind the day you die is meant to be allows you to overcome fear. I did not tell anyone to run around screaming about jesus and death etc." Moestors and snitches turn to god" WTF I prayed every morning and before each meal (still do) read the bible daily and was not played for a snitch or perv. All waks turn to reigion wether it be god, buddah or satan. I call fags fags and gays gays I don't discriminate against homosexuals but on the inside there are fags and they are a threat. If you didn't like my thread you should have ignored it but instead you told me to take my ass to church. I'll take church over prison any day maybe you should try it you might be enlightened.

 

[40acres]

you have no idea what you are talking about. Are ou on the right forum?

 

[Isthisyourspecialbush]

you have no idea what you are talking about. Are ou on the right forum?

No I have no idea what your talking about. And yes I'm on the right forum I have many hobbies and interests. You disagree, no problem I'd still pass a dutch of that mist to ya.