Ultimate Freak-the-fuck-out of Freak Outs. (Winter Woman please don't read this)
- Thread starter Carne Seca
- Start date
SirGreenThumb
Well-Known Member
nom nom nom 
Winter Woman
Well-Known Member
When I moved in my old home in Michigan the area was mostly farms, fields and marshland. My first experience with a really big (HUGE) spider in my new home happened the 3rd morning I was there. I had set up my bathroom with our toothbrushes in some pretty pottery my bf made for us. Next to it was my Chicken Man coffee mug (does anyone remember him) that I had used for years for water to rinse my mouth out after brushing.
Anyway, it's 4:30 am. Have to get up early if you're married to a grocer. Half awake and barely able to function I stumbled into the bathroom, rubbed my hands over my eyes and probably mumbled something about hating mornings. Then it was time to wet my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it. Scrub, scrub, scrub away the tartar. I grabbed that friggin cup and ran a little water into the bottom of it-no problem. I tipped the cup as I raised it to within inches of my face when the water movement forced a mutha of a spider up and over the edge of that freakin' cup and on to my hand, it raced up my arm. I screamed and dropped my Chicken Man mug on the floor, it shattered and I had no idea where the spider went.
My new hubby came running into the bathroom thinking something terribly wrong had occurred, which indeed it had. I'm now in the mode of trying to cover up and get the hell out of there. Startled when he came in I fell backwards into the bathtub and on the way down I'm grabbing the shower curtain and guess where that little son of b was hiding. I'm trying to get out of the bathroom and tangled up in the shower curtain dragging it out into the hallway before it finally fell off. My beloved is laughing so hard he could hardly stand up.
I got my revenge a couple of weeks later when he decides he is going to transfer yard waste from one container to another. He reaches into a 45 gallon trash can and a gardener snake that is big enough to reach the top of the can slithered out of it. I didn't know that a grown man could scream that loudly. Ahhh yes, revenge is best served cold, like a snake.
Sorry for any typos and grammatical mistakes.
Anyway, it's 4:30 am. Have to get up early if you're married to a grocer. Half awake and barely able to function I stumbled into the bathroom, rubbed my hands over my eyes and probably mumbled something about hating mornings. Then it was time to wet my toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it. Scrub, scrub, scrub away the tartar. I grabbed that friggin cup and ran a little water into the bottom of it-no problem. I tipped the cup as I raised it to within inches of my face when the water movement forced a mutha of a spider up and over the edge of that freakin' cup and on to my hand, it raced up my arm. I screamed and dropped my Chicken Man mug on the floor, it shattered and I had no idea where the spider went.
My new hubby came running into the bathroom thinking something terribly wrong had occurred, which indeed it had. I'm now in the mode of trying to cover up and get the hell out of there. Startled when he came in I fell backwards into the bathtub and on the way down I'm grabbing the shower curtain and guess where that little son of b was hiding. I'm trying to get out of the bathroom and tangled up in the shower curtain dragging it out into the hallway before it finally fell off. My beloved is laughing so hard he could hardly stand up.
I got my revenge a couple of weeks later when he decides he is going to transfer yard waste from one container to another. He reaches into a 45 gallon trash can and a gardener snake that is big enough to reach the top of the can slithered out of it. I didn't know that a grown man could scream that loudly. Ahhh yes, revenge is best served cold, like a snake.
Sorry for any typos and grammatical mistakes.
RyanTheRhino
Well-Known Member
how cute that's a sippy cupI get dehydrated easily so I fill a pitcher with ice and set it and a mug, with a lid, on my bedstand coaster. By the time I get thirsty the ice has partially melted and the water is coooooold. (I love ice water). The lid has an opening that slides back and forth. So even if I'm half awake I can't spill it.
I learned from experience. Which is rare for me.
Plus out of curiosity, did you get my Benjamin Franklin reference?
dannyboy602
Well-Known Member
LMAO. I just spilled my coffee
Carne Seca
Well-Known Member
Fucking Hell! I hate that. They're so damned fast. We have those large orb web spiders that hang out in our junipers. I'm always worried about walking face first into an occupied web. ::shudder::
Bitch, please. I'd drain that in 5 seconds. I need a jumbo cup.how cute that's a sippy cup
Y'all are some cold bitches.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
... silky ... cnYou will be updating the "whats for dinner?" thread, won't you?
I am, curious to know what exquisite nuance is added to the flavor of the chilli.
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
I looked for its counterpart, and had to settle for this.how cute that's a sippy cup
However on the same search, I also found this, a true vagina cup. Its application is decidedly feminine.
Oddly, the second entry under "vagina sippy cup" were these lagomorphic receptacles. The story was that they were being recalled for poking kids in the eye.
Finally, I'm guessing this one was included for a rather uterine shape. They should have provided thicker rubber grips (in pink) for the handle ends ...
I wonder if that big beige number is usable for soft drinks.