Hung out with a old friend today..

[Bublonichronic]

What up RIU... I guess I'm just looking for some perspective, today I connected with a old friend, in fact I would say my best friend from the past..right off the bat things felt different, maybe even akward..which is weird cause of how close we're at one point, and I noticed he seemed annoyed by my little jokes, and when he would make one I would pretty much think to myself "yea, right , stfu".. Anyway, pretty much, I'm just wondering if anyone has ever tryd to reconnect with a old friend b4 and then realized, there was never any common interest...anyway, if anyone been the through this curious to hear your thoughts on why this is, other than "people change"

 

[Orithil]

Other than "people change"? Isn't that all it really comes down to, though? Our experiences in life, the things that we go through, define us and make us the people we are. Sharing those experiences and being in similar circumstances can bring people together, and if circumstances part those people they have all new experiences, go through things that give them different perspectives and values, things that change who they are.

I've tried reconnecting with old friends before, and it seemed like we were totally different people from what the other remembered.

 

[NightOwlBono]

I was in the same situation couple years ago,best friends for years(kindergarden-grade 12)they moved cross-country lfor 4-5 years and came back.We hung out when he got back but we never had much in common anymore.


Nothing you can really do,unless you want to 'work' really hard to keep the relationship alive.(not my style,if its not fluid then it's not worth the effort)
We hung out 6-7 times and then we just stopped calling each other slowly,now I sometimes see him around town we stand around awkwardly and make small talk,'how's the family','how's work going',ect.


as long as he's not dead,and I'm not dead we're in each others good books.
Im sure if I needed help with something I can't handle by myself I could still call him and he would come right over,and vise versa


Just be glad that you two were once best friends(for however amount of time it was)

 

[ultraviolet pirate]

ive done the same thing man, got with a bunch of buds, remembering the good old days, partying, goofing off....and came away from it realizing I was the one that changed. fighting, being stupid, packing my nose, chasing pussy all night, none of that is me anymore.

 

[Mattemil]

Yup been there done that with a few people the past few years.Waste of time.

 

[dux]

Went through a similar situation,couple years back.im 40 now but when I was in high school my best friend " jay" and I were never apart.things stayed like that until about 30years old.unfortunately,he got hung up with the Meth shit and I didn't.after a couple years with no contact he stopped by,it was great to see him "clean" again and doing good! Butt..he was a different guy,things were just really uncomfortable,sad. We talked like we would be hanging out like old times but neither of us calls the other one anymore...I think meth dealers need to be put in a barrel and burned!!

 

[Super Toker]

If I know someone and they disappear for even a month or 2 Im leary. They couldve gotten busted and narcing on people now or anything just to keep out of trouble themselves. Trust Nobody!

 

[sunni]

my best friend met a girl, and she didnt like me so she refuse for him to hangout with me meanwhile i was the one who introduced them, and me and him had been friends since 8th grade, anywho we used to hangout every single day , anywho they broke up first thing he did was text me i offered help and guidance , and after that day hes not called me at all, it sucks, its painful considering how close we were when we were kids, its stupid since we have tons in common not sure what happened, but whatever i guess nothing you can do about it

 

[bowlfullofbliss]

What up RIU... I guess I'm just looking for some perspective, today I connected with a old friend, in fact I would say my best friend from the past..right off the bat things felt different, maybe even akward..which is weird cause of how close we're at one point, and I noticed he seemed annoyed by my little jokes, and when he would make one I would pretty much think to myself "yea, right , stfu".. Anyway, pretty much, I'm just wondering if anyone has ever tryd to reconnect with a old friend b4 and then realized, there was never any common interest...anyway, if anyone been the through this curious to hear your thoughts on why this is, other than "people change"

everytime I get together with an old friend, its a very strange feeling like everything has changed........because it has. its usually disappointing to say the least, so I generally try to avoid that situation. I hate uncomfortable get togethers.

If I know someone and they disappear for even a month or 2 Im leary. They couldve gotten busted and narcing on people now or anything just to keep out of trouble themselves. Trust Nobody!

dang dude.........paranoid much? you must live in a very relaxed State when it comes to cannabis. lol.

 

[Trippy Mayne]

dang dude.........paranoid much? you must live in a very relaxed State when it comes to cannabis. lol.

Maybe the Kush has got to his head lol.

 

[Super Toker]

I live in a small red-neck town with tons of police who just love to pull you over or harass you so I dont chance it, and I never said I havnt been to jail lol. I still have my grow on but Ive seen and heard some crazy shit. Its not legal where I live

 

[oldtimer54]

I've been hanging with the same dudes for a long time since early childhood. There were four of us including myself around 1985 one of the dudes just cut us off no contact what so ever and it really affected me in a bad way I wanted to know why after numerous attempts at contacting resulted in nothing at all I finally gave up. Jump ahead about six years this old friends brother came to work where I was working at the time we quickly started hanging out some from time to time. One day I asked him if he knew what had happened to him why he stopped hanging out with us and his brother said it was because of his wife at the time she basiclly told him her or us and of coruse he picked his wife and i have no problem with that but I've always thought that he could have told us but he chose not to I've only seen him one more time in all the years since .My wife ran into him several years back and he told her he had remarried and was living not 5 miles from where I live right now. Whenever the other two friends I hang out with get together we always say we are gonna ride over to his house and see if he'll iinvite us in .... but we never do hell it's been almost 30 years now I guess all those early memories of all the crazy shit all four of us did will just have to do.you know the sad thing is I still miss him aint that a crock.

 

[RyanTheRhino]

ive done the same thing man, got with a bunch of buds, remembering the good old days, partying, goofing off....and came away from it realizing I was the one that changed. fighting, being stupid, packing my nose, chasing pussy all night, none of that is me anymore.

I think that phase is called after high school lol

 

[kinetic]

I see my bestfriend of 25 years around once in awhile. It's not the same, it goes back and forth from feeling friendly to akward all in a ten minute conversation. It's a shame really, I'm a loyal friend. I don't think he ever knew when we were younger I brushed aside advances from two of his gf's.

 

[aknight3]

i have had this happen to me a couple times, what happens most of the time is kids come togetherwhen theyre younger to party, have a good time etc and they never really had anything in common and maybe even diff types of people, just to get fucked up with eachother, the only thing i have in common with many past friends and 1 or 2 past closest friends is drugs, oncw we remove this from the scenario its much more noticable, and usually different,as you described

 

[silasraven]

maybe you had more in common then you think, maybe it was difficult for him to connect with you on it because things were always ripped from him, so ANYTHING just seemed like a lost cause because it might not be there again.did you date? some guys just dont take ex's for friends no matter what.

 

[ultraviolet pirate]

I think that phase is called after high school lol

my stupid ass didn't slow down until 27-28...

 

[silasraven]

wait till you have to pay for it. things in common becomes what will it cost you. remember you rent, so its a litte different. rebuilding time after time is very costly. he and you probably had interests its just his he had to buy all over again. what type of kid where you? spoiled or paid your own way. people who have things given to them quite often believe the rest of the world has nothing in common with them when its just the opposite. are you in school?those things tend to keep someones mind in certain places.

 

[Bublonichronic]

First off, thanks for all the replies, really helpd put my mind as ease..it's still kinda hard to accept well never be friends again, I guess all there is now are memories, and lessons in friendship I can try to apply in the future.. It's funny thus whole situation reminds me of growing... Like when you first start, u do really bad(or atleast I did) but learn and eventually realize the things you need to do for it to flourish..but the Fenos you killed are gone, u can just try to do better in the future...

 

[Bublonichronic]

wait till you have to pay for it. things in common becomes what will it cost you. remember you rent, so its a litte different. rebuilding time after time is very costly. he and you probably had interests its just his he had to buy all over again. what type of kid where you? spoiled or paid your own way. people who have things given to them quite often believe the rest of the world has nothing in common with them when its just the opposite. are you in school?those things tend to keep someones mind in certain places.

I notice that hanging out with friends is expensive, food/drink, activity... Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one thinking " fuck, 8$ for a 16oz beer?!, I'm never goin to the bar again!" But in order to be social u kinda have to pay the $, or you look like a bum...IMO hanging out is to expensive! Ahha, a burden I can do without...