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Coping with a Suicide

Metasynth

Metasynth

Well-Known Member
Have you ever known anyone close to you that has taken their own life? Did you see it coming? How did you deal with the loss, and how did you feel towards the person who committed suicide? Do you think it was selfish? Do you have pity for someone who felt that they had no other way out? Do you still have questions for that person? Will you ever find closure? What would you have done differently had you known what they were thinking? Do you think there was any way to prevent it?
 
beardo

beardo

Well-Known Member
I knew someone who sat on train tracks and got hit by the train, it was kind of weird, I knew him, wasn't really a friend, I had spend time with him though, people picked on him, I didn't and it was kind of fucked up that he did that, I felt good that I didn't join in on picking on him but it's to bad that he thought it was so bad that he chose to do that, what bothered me was that some people who had picked on him acted really bothered that he killed himself.
 
jhod58vw

jhod58vw

Well-Known Member
I have not not that I remember. Sorry bro keep your head up. I never picked on anyone. I've always been the guy that everyone gets along with.
 
REALSTYLES

REALSTYLES

Well-Known Member
Lost my father in November 1, 1998. He shot himself in the mouth but didn't die but was in a coma and on life support until November 5, 1998 and those questions are hard to answer. You'll find closure in time but you'll never forget.
 
M

minnesmoker

Well-Known Member
Knew a very close friend that committed suicide. He was a musician (guitarist) who had all of his fingers broken by the brother of a girl he'd huty. Didn't bother me, dick shouldn't have given my sis the itchy crawlies.

As to yours. From a psychological standpoint, the suicides that you can prevent are generally more cries for help. Determination to end doesn't make it obvious. My understanding is that, in most cases of drawn out depression, with a final decision to commit suicide, the opposite of "warning signs" is true. The person becomes more energetic, happy, and seems to have found a new focus, that's (ironically) brought new life to their personality. The only person to blame, ever, for taking a life is the person who took it -- murder or suicide. And, it can never be anyone's "fault" as the only person who acted to cause a cessation of life was the person who killed his or her self. Don't beat yourself up for other's mistakes. Learn from them.
 
chewberto

chewberto

Well-Known Member
Coping is realizing the selfishness and also sympathizing with the person as to why it would ever come to that....I had a person that I looked up to hang them self, then another friend did it, then the girlfriend of the first one...prescription pills is all it took to become a zombie willing to give in, the details are sick and that's enough....
 
cannabineer

cannabineer

Ursus marijanus
My maternal grandmother did herself. My mother was not at peace with it over sixty years later; the psychic wound never healed. That was a lesson to me at a time when I didn't have the tightest grip on the reins. cn
 
Nutes and Nugs

Nutes and Nugs

Well-Known Member
Like Mr. Spock once said " One cannot predict the actions of others".
I knew a few who pulled the switcheroony on themselves but never blamed myself for their actions.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
 
GOD HERE

GOD HERE

Well-Known Member
cannabineer said:
My maternal grandmother did herself. My mother was not at peace with it over sixty years later; the psychic wound never healed. That was a lesson to me at a time when I didn't have the tightest grip on the reins. cn
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Did you get Rudolph back under control
 
J

joe macclennan

Well-Known Member
I knew a guy in high school who did it. I wasn't really close to him but I looked up to him. It was a tough time.

I lost three close friends in various accidents during a period of two years. In my early twenties.

This was exceptionally hard for me. I've never had a ton of ppl. who I consider to be friends. These guys were some of them.

Time heals all wounds but I still get that sick pit in my stomach occasionally.

Kinda like now:cry:

RIP Troy,Jeremy, Greg.
 
Mad Hamish

Mad Hamish

Well-Known Member
Losing people you love is hardcore. Not much you can do. It takes time and a lot of support from people you love to get one's perspective back. It never stops hurting. You've got to find your peace without trying to get rid of the hurt, geting perspective doesn't mean that will just go away. With a suicide, always remember the person's decision had nothing todo with YOU. Depression is a powerful beast trust me I know from dealing with a friend, once that monster has got people all logic and reason go out the window. There is little one can do for depessed people once they get to that state. All the best with a tough road ahead, and to those here that have gone through a challenge like this and came out whole at he other end, massive respect to you, I know how hard it is getting there. May those departed now have peace.
 
W

wahoo

Active Member
I have lost quite a few family and friends due to suicide. It can be a hard thing to get over especially when it is someone young, they have there whole life ahead of them and it's hard thing to comprehend.

I feel sorry for some of the parents that have lost children this way as they are the ones that never get over something like this.

There questions will always be- (How did I not know? If I did I could have done something?)

The thing is, it's always the ones that don't say anything so there's no real way of knowing what there thinking until it's to late.

At the end of the day bro you can't beat yourself up about it. If someone want's to take there own life, there's nothing you or anybody can do about it and that's the truth.

That's the way you have to look at it.

Getting them help doesn't always work either, my cousin checked into a depression help center and everyone thought he was OK, then 2 weeks later he killed himself. (Said he was going for a shower, left it running, closed and locked the door, sunck out to the back shed, locked it with a pad lock from the inside and hung himself)

By the time we all worked it out and got into the shed it was to late. It's was extremely smart the way he did it (he even took the key's to the pad lock inside to ensure we couldn't get in) and it just goes to show the lengths someone will go too make sure they kill themselves.

You just can't watch them 24/7 and if it's in there head they will do it.

Hope you can find a little comfort in this post bro as I know how hard, sad and angry you must be.

Peace
 
sunni

sunni

Administrator
Staff member
Metasynth said:
Have you ever known anyone close to you that has taken their own life? Did you see it coming? How did you deal with the loss, and how did you feel towards the person who committed suicide? Do you think it was selfish? Do you have pity for someone who felt that they had no other way out? Do you still have questions for that person? Will you ever find closure? What would you have done differently had you known what they were thinking? Do you think there was any way to prevent it?
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yes i have , no i didnt really see it coming, but kinda did, i always just figured he would die young most likely from alcohol poising. I felt really guilty for the first few months i still do...., no i dont think he was selfish to do it, he was sick, he wanted to go ,and ot be honest i feel at ease that i think hes okay right now, i think for the first time ever he doesnt have to deal with his many sicknesses.
I dont pity him , i am glad for him.
I have many questions for him though, i wish i knew the answerers too. I dont think ill ever find true closure, ...possibly acceptance or tolerance of it though. There was no way to prevent it, he truly wanted out
RIP buddy love you<3
 
Metasynth

Metasynth

Well-Known Member
sunni said:
yes i have , no i didnt really see it coming, but kinda did, i always just figured he would die young most likely from alcohol poising. I felt really guilty for the first few months i still do...., no i dont think he was selfish to do it, he was sick, he wanted to go ,and ot be honest i feel at ease that i think hes okay right now, i think for the first time ever he doesnt have to deal with his many sicknesses.
I dont pity him , i am glad for him.
I have many questions for him though, i wish i knew the answerers too. I dont think ill ever find true closure, ...possibly acceptance or tolerance of it though. There was no way to prevent it, he truly wanted out
RIP buddy love you<3
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I thought for sure you came here to remind me to use the search feature, and post links the other suicide threads already started on RIU.
 
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