Mad Hamish
Well-Known Member
Hi Sub,
I am writing this as a humble guy that loves reefer and reefer culture. And I am doing so because I find myself concerned for you and I do not even know you from a bar of soap.
Let me start by stating that I have MASSIVE respect for you and what you have done for the global reefer community. You give and give, then give some more. This means that I wish nothing but the best for you. But it has become incredibly evident that you are no longer having a good time giving huge parts of yourself, heart and soul. It has become evident and plain that your heart has been broken by the very community you chose to serve. I know this feeling, I have felt the same heart-break in a community I have served for over ten years, a tight little music circle.
Perhaps letting you know how I have coped with this can help you find some peace. First off, your decision to distance yourself from the general public (as you say, you will not be helping out here any longer) is a very good one. Both you and I made the same mistake: We counted on the support, mentally, of those we have served, seeing as we have literally dedicated our entire lives to service of a beautiful ideology. But Sub, the general public does not care to know of matters they cannot understand. In my case, all they want to do is have a party and then go home. In your case, all they want to do is grow a tree and smoke it.
In my case, they can always choose another party. In your case, they can always choose another tree to grow, dry and toke on.
In both our cases, we came across stuff that directly contradicts our personal moral code. Just like you, I made a PUBLIC stand. I raised my voice and said NO, FUCK THIS, it is wrong. And just like you, I found a wave of opposition from individuals that are blissfully ignorant as to what our beloved 'scenes' can become if the bad apples were removed from the bunch. It makes you wonder why you ever did the favours you did, why you dedicate your time and money to charitable causes.
So just like you, I kept my distance. But you know what... a few years later, after pulling out completely, people are getting hold of me letting me know how much I am missed. This will be the truth for you also. Realise that no matter what you are feeling right now, you have done your part to make the world a better place. So what ol MH here did was to re-connect with the source of it all. I mentally 'time travelled' to my state of mind ten years ago. I found the little things that fascinate me again. In short, I remembered about ME. Perhaps you should try the same, Sub. What I see here in your organics section MUST have grown out of an infinite fascination with a lot of little things. If you can find those little things, YOUR little things that got you into this in the first place, and find the time to nurture them again, you will also find your peace.
From the Karma thread it is plain and evident that you have dealt with a lot of people that do NOT share your ethics. Have no mercy, cut people like that from your life like a fucking KATANA WIELDING NINJA! And that means your mind too. No matter what, whenever you think of these people, you will pollute yourself. Even when they get what's coming to them, thinking about the justice of it is not keeping busy with what fascinates you. It is a distraction you do not need nor deserve, and it is handing them a weapon to harm you with.
Get the hell out of the public eye. Everybody loves to hate a public figure. There are people you can pay to represent you publicly. It is worth every penny. You cannot put a price on peace of mind. I understand that you love your business, but this is the exact reason you cannot be the guy out front and in the open, the first possible target guys can aim for. If you get fucked up, who is left to make sure it is done the way you need it to be done? I am willing to bet you have many loyal hands that will assist you in any and all matters.
One thing I have learned is that the general public hates passion. You are a very passionate character. There is always, ALWAYS, an opinion out there that will be in contradiction to yours, and that contradicting opinion will ALWAYS gather more support than whatever it is you have to say. ALWAYS. Your group is small, but the public, the public is LEGION.
You have a great gig going. You are doing your work legally and freely, paying your taxes. DO NOT ASSOCIATE with people that work on or with the underground market. To survive in the underground, people become gangsters. It is the nature of what happens under prohibition. Once an individual is an outlaw, the rules change for them. Being an outlaw is living in a dog-eat-dog world. You need not ever come into contact with that world.
So let me end this rant by saying this: You are loved. By many. The people that love you will love you for eternity. Those that hate you will move on to hating somebody else pretty soon. Your health alone should not allow any negativity to enter your life man. All of us come to a time that we have to step back from the great big fucked up world we live in.
Wishing you all the best, and hoping you find your 'muse' again.
Warmest Regards from South Africa,
MH
I am writing this as a humble guy that loves reefer and reefer culture. And I am doing so because I find myself concerned for you and I do not even know you from a bar of soap.
Let me start by stating that I have MASSIVE respect for you and what you have done for the global reefer community. You give and give, then give some more. This means that I wish nothing but the best for you. But it has become incredibly evident that you are no longer having a good time giving huge parts of yourself, heart and soul. It has become evident and plain that your heart has been broken by the very community you chose to serve. I know this feeling, I have felt the same heart-break in a community I have served for over ten years, a tight little music circle.
Perhaps letting you know how I have coped with this can help you find some peace. First off, your decision to distance yourself from the general public (as you say, you will not be helping out here any longer) is a very good one. Both you and I made the same mistake: We counted on the support, mentally, of those we have served, seeing as we have literally dedicated our entire lives to service of a beautiful ideology. But Sub, the general public does not care to know of matters they cannot understand. In my case, all they want to do is have a party and then go home. In your case, all they want to do is grow a tree and smoke it.
In my case, they can always choose another party. In your case, they can always choose another tree to grow, dry and toke on.
In both our cases, we came across stuff that directly contradicts our personal moral code. Just like you, I made a PUBLIC stand. I raised my voice and said NO, FUCK THIS, it is wrong. And just like you, I found a wave of opposition from individuals that are blissfully ignorant as to what our beloved 'scenes' can become if the bad apples were removed from the bunch. It makes you wonder why you ever did the favours you did, why you dedicate your time and money to charitable causes.
So just like you, I kept my distance. But you know what... a few years later, after pulling out completely, people are getting hold of me letting me know how much I am missed. This will be the truth for you also. Realise that no matter what you are feeling right now, you have done your part to make the world a better place. So what ol MH here did was to re-connect with the source of it all. I mentally 'time travelled' to my state of mind ten years ago. I found the little things that fascinate me again. In short, I remembered about ME. Perhaps you should try the same, Sub. What I see here in your organics section MUST have grown out of an infinite fascination with a lot of little things. If you can find those little things, YOUR little things that got you into this in the first place, and find the time to nurture them again, you will also find your peace.
From the Karma thread it is plain and evident that you have dealt with a lot of people that do NOT share your ethics. Have no mercy, cut people like that from your life like a fucking KATANA WIELDING NINJA! And that means your mind too. No matter what, whenever you think of these people, you will pollute yourself. Even when they get what's coming to them, thinking about the justice of it is not keeping busy with what fascinates you. It is a distraction you do not need nor deserve, and it is handing them a weapon to harm you with.
Get the hell out of the public eye. Everybody loves to hate a public figure. There are people you can pay to represent you publicly. It is worth every penny. You cannot put a price on peace of mind. I understand that you love your business, but this is the exact reason you cannot be the guy out front and in the open, the first possible target guys can aim for. If you get fucked up, who is left to make sure it is done the way you need it to be done? I am willing to bet you have many loyal hands that will assist you in any and all matters.
One thing I have learned is that the general public hates passion. You are a very passionate character. There is always, ALWAYS, an opinion out there that will be in contradiction to yours, and that contradicting opinion will ALWAYS gather more support than whatever it is you have to say. ALWAYS. Your group is small, but the public, the public is LEGION.
You have a great gig going. You are doing your work legally and freely, paying your taxes. DO NOT ASSOCIATE with people that work on or with the underground market. To survive in the underground, people become gangsters. It is the nature of what happens under prohibition. Once an individual is an outlaw, the rules change for them. Being an outlaw is living in a dog-eat-dog world. You need not ever come into contact with that world.
So let me end this rant by saying this: You are loved. By many. The people that love you will love you for eternity. Those that hate you will move on to hating somebody else pretty soon. Your health alone should not allow any negativity to enter your life man. All of us come to a time that we have to step back from the great big fucked up world we live in.
Wishing you all the best, and hoping you find your 'muse' again.
Warmest Regards from South Africa,
MH
Dissect ahead bro, I said what I needed to say. Peace and love to you and yours brother.
