I am sorry about your son, i couldnt imagine going through that.
I live in a very unforgiving area. I used yo be paranoid, but have found ways to cover and hide everything. From sound proofing, light proofing, odor control and fire safety. I have 3 fire extinguishers handy, co2/fire alarm outside my grow, etc...
Only once did I tare down a grow, and stopped for a couple years. My wife and I were going through hard times. Constantly argueing. At the time, i was not worried about stealth, as our grow was in a walk-in closet in our bedroom. (Who goes in our bedroom but us, right?).
Well our argueing one night was quite loud, so the neighbors decided to call the police. We were in the bedroom and never heard as they entered the house. They stormed the bedroom, and were in there for over an hour questioning us and what not. The whole time, one of the officers was standing right next to the closet. All of the extention cords running under the door, and a dryer vent cut through the wall blowing exhaust right on him! Nothing was ever said, but I figured better safe then sorry!