And the Hits Keep Coming

Just creating a thread where i can vent, get advice, maybe learn from someone's experience, and think things through.

2014 was a pretty rough year and 2015 ain't starting much better.

Last year saw 3 deaths in the family, two stays in the hospital for my wife, a bunch of disputes between myself, my son, my wife, and my ex-wife, back/neck surgery on me and being a father to my 15 year old son.

Last year was long and we were looking forward to this year. So far, this year has been even more trying.

My back surgery hasn't really been a total success imo. My ex-wife and wife continue to 'disagree'. My 15 year old son has been, well, a 15 year old. My wife was sick and off work for almost a month, got well enough to go to work Monday and totalled the car Wednesday on her way to work. She has a broken collar bone and will be at home again for a while.

THEN, my ex-wife informs me tonight while exchanging our son, that she has been diagnosed with a rare form of extremely aggressive cervical cancer.

This has GOT to get better.

All respectful opinions and advice are welcome. I'm damn near at a loss of how to handle all that's going on.

To coin an obvious phrase, things can only get better.
If there is balance in the universe, then things have to improve.
As little help as those words are, and as little difference as me willing it to happen will make, know that I am.

Stay positive and strong for your family. Strength comes from within, so let yours help them and you by being the rock.

Growan said:

To coin an obvious phrase, things can only get better.
If there is balance in the universe, then things have to improve.
As little help as those words are, and as little difference as me willing it to happen will make, know that I am.

Stay positive and strong for your family. Strength comes from within, so let yours help them and you by being the rock.

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Thank you for the encouragement. I have no choice but to remain strong. My family depends on it.

It's just that sometimes it seems that i have so many things coming at me from so many directions that my head starts to spin. There are issues other than the above mentioned as well.

So, I figured I'd kinda blog some of it here in hopes of maybe getting some different pov that i may be overlooking.

budlover13 said:

Just creating a thread where i can vent, get advice, maybe learn from someone's experience, and think things through.

2014 was a pretty rough year and 2015 ain't starting much better.

Last year saw 3 deaths in the family, two stays in the hospital for my wife, a bunch of disputes between myself, my son, my wife, and my ex-wife, back/neck surgery on me and being a father to my 15 year old son.

Last year was long and we were looking forward to this year. So far, this year has been even more trying.

My back surgery hasn't really been a total success imo. My ex-wife and wife continue to 'disagree'. My 15 year old son has been, well, a 15 year old. My wife was sick and off work for almost a month, got well enough to go to work Monday and totalled the car Wednesday on her way to work. She has a broken collar bone and will be at home again for a while.

THEN, my ex-wife informs me tonight while exchanging our son, that she has been diagnosed with a rare form of extremely aggressive cervical cancer.

This has GOT to get better.

All respectful opinions and advice are welcome. I'm damn near at a loss of how to handle all that's going on.

Click to expand...

Sorry to hear your catalogue of nightmares man, I truly am.
Though I have my health in the main and so do my immediate family we have had some dark times.
My wife has lost both her parents within this last year after both of them dying from long and painful illness, after returning from her mums funeral in Thailand her only brother has fallen seriously I'll just after becoming a father!
The history of her family is littered with child deaths and sisters disappearing.
Massive financial problems still rack us now from helping with the years of hospital costs, travel to Thailand and funeral costs. I would not change the help we gave but the hole is a deep one to climb out of.
My wife and her very Buddhist way of looking at things is a constant source of peace in the storm. She is so at peace with her own rape years ago and all the other things that have happened that I myself read Buddhist teachings from Tibet, Vietnam and Thailand.
I am more spiritual than religious but I must admit I was touched and aided by what I read.
It's easy as an outsider looking in on someone else's problems to give advice.
I would however say that though it seems impossible, and things may get worse before improving - they will get better.
Bones heal, emotional rifts too as long as love and time are what you invest.
Nothing worth doing or having will ever come easy.
Peace and calm often seems the most difficult to attain. The supposedly simple things always are.
Take a moment for yourself as often as possible, sit somewhere beautiful and breathe. Centre yourself and stay true to your own heart and those around you will benefit also.
I know it would be easy to dismiss what I just said as hippy dippy or religious nonsense but just breathe man.
Break down you wal of problems into smaller, more manageable bits.
You can only do so much.
Sorry for this long winded message but I can relate and know how you feel.
Much love..... Ish

Don't give up on this year....hell it just got started.Remember what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger budlover.Stay positive try to find the good in everything.I will keep you in my thoughts
Much love coming your way my friend stay strong!!!

budlover13 said:

Just creating a thread where i can vent, get advice, maybe learn from someone's experience, and think things through.

2014 was a pretty rough year and 2015 ain't starting much better.

Last year saw 3 deaths in the family, two stays in the hospital for my wife, a bunch of disputes between myself, my son, my wife, and my ex-wife, back/neck surgery on me and being a father to my 15 year old son.

Last year was long and we were looking forward to this year. So far, this year has been even more trying.

My back surgery hasn't really been a total success imo. My ex-wife and wife continue to 'disagree'. My 15 year old son has been, well, a 15 year old. My wife was sick and off work for almost a month, got well enough to go to work Monday and totalled the car Wednesday on her way to work. She has a broken collar bone and will be at home again for a while.

THEN, my ex-wife informs me tonight while exchanging our son, that she has been diagnosed with a rare form of extremely aggressive cervical cancer.

This has GOT to get better.

All respectful opinions and advice are welcome. I'm damn near at a loss of how to handle all that's going on.

Click to expand...

Being that karma is a bitch, what on earth did you do?

SnapsProvolone said:

Being that karma is a bitch, what on earth did you do?

Click to expand...

Right? Been thinking hard and can't come up with anything. I mean, obviously we have all done a few things that we aren't really proud of but I can't think of anything that would warrant this unending barrage.

I believe that the universe balances itself. Maybe after enduring all that is coming at me I will have a big pleasant surprise coming my way lol.

oldtimer54 said:

Don't give up on this year....hell it just got started.Remember what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger budlover.Stay positive try to find the good in everything.I will keep you in my thoughts
Much love coming your way my friend stay strong!!!

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Thank you Oldtimer! I'm sure that there is a positive side to all of this. I'm probably just not seeing it yet.

Ishrahnai said:

Sorry to hear your catalogue of nightmares man, I truly am.
Though I have my health in the main and so do my immediate family we have had some dark times.
My wife has lost both her parents within this last year after both of them dying from long and painful illness, after returning from her mums funeral in Thailand her only brother has fallen seriously I'll just after becoming a father!
The history of her family is littered with child deaths and sisters disappearing.
Massive financial problems still rack us now from helping with the years of hospital costs, travel to Thailand and funeral costs. I would not change the help we gave but the hole is a deep one to climb out of.
My wife and her very Buddhist way of looking at things is a constant source of peace in the storm. She is so at peace with her own rape years ago and all the other things that have happened that I myself read Buddhist teachings from Tibet, Vietnam and Thailand.
I am more spiritual than religious but I must admit I was touched and aided by what I read.
It's easy as an outsider looking in on someone else's problems to give advice.
I would however say that though it seems impossible, and things may get worse before improving - they will get better.
Bones heal, emotional rifts too as long as love and time are what you invest.
Nothing worth doing or having will ever come easy.
Peace and calm often seems the most difficult to attain. The supposedly simple things always are.
Take a moment for yourself as often as possible, sit somewhere beautiful and breathe. Centre yourself and stay true to your own heart and those around you will benefit also.
I know it would be easy to dismiss what I just said as hippy dippy or religious nonsense but just breathe man.
Break down you wal of problems into smaller, more manageable bits.
You can only do so much.
Sorry for this long winded message but I can relate and know how you feel.
Much love..... Ish

Click to expand...

Wow. Kinda puts things in perspective a little. I think I need to take a trip to the mountains for a little 'me time'.

Hope things work out for you man.

budlover13 said:

Right? Been thinking hard and can't come up with anything. I mean, obviously we have all done a few things that we aren't really proud of but I can't think of anything that would warrant this unending barrage.

I believe that the universe balances itself. Maybe after enduring all that is coming at me I will have a big pleasant surprise coming my way lol.

Click to expand...

Yeah, you're stacking good karma in credit. Lol

SnapsProvolone said:

Being that karma is a bitch, what on earth did you do?

Click to expand...

Got married and had kids..no no I know that was wrong. Op I feel for you man. I dont want to disclose any of my issues but man, if only we could sit and talk in person...

As a 14 yr Army vet I deal with alot of demons

I also found out my wife of 12 yrs has TB...I have an 11 and 7 yr old..both girls and it is not easy. I am out on a work comp for a right knee injury that happend back 7 yrs ago and the Army didnt want to fix it...but my "cicilian" job did...I had Arthoscopic surgury on my right knee a week ago..and something tell me I am not going to be 100%

I have washed my hands with dealing with VA

6ohMax said:

Got married and had kids..no no I know that was wrong. Op I feel for you man. I dont want to disclose any of my issues but man, if only we could sit and talk in person...

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Yeah, I'm not usually one to talk a lot about my issues but I figured I might find a little relief by kinda writing some out and getting a different perspective.

budlover13 said:

Yeah, I'm not usually one to talk a lot about my issues but I figured I might find a little relief by kinda writing some out and getting a different perspective.

Click to expand...

It is good to vent.

My older brother (which is a veteran as well) ripped into my yesterday about how people don't care about Veterans and society doesnt give 2 fucks about you...

Im here to tel you man, if you get in with a tight knit group of friends your ok....I took over 75 people of my FB because they meant nothing to me..


im ranting..sorry

I've had a couple of less than "great" years these last few, but always try to look for the silver lining.

The trail will get smoother.

I just try to laugh at situations if I can at times because the world's a real bitch sometimes. What you're getting now will roll itself off you and your family and onto another at some point. It just keeps going around I think. What you can do though is fight and be strong like you're doing and when it moves on to fuck someone else, make some headway and gain some ground by being positive and hard working at your job and your family and your relationships so if it comes back you're better prepared to kick it in the balls.

Good vibes my bras!

Life can be brutal. Last year was for me, and this year started with separating with my wife. BUT the year Is only a couple weeks old! !

Friends-family and time !!!

Praying to god always helped me and hes always been there for me through thick and thin. Try that if your religious of course.

Cpappa27 said:

Praying to god always helped me and hes always been there for me through thick and thin. Try that if your religious of course.

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I am a Deist personally. And yes, it seems to help sometimes.