Thanks for all the advise people of RIU, even those with a sense of humor. I have thought long and hard on this and I just came to the conclusion that I'm not going to install any spyware. I will not worry about it one more second of my life. I don't think she is cheating, I did confront her and told her everything I was feeling and right after she got a new phone with a new number without me asking. She has been spending more time with me and not hiding her phone from me. I think she is scared of being alone and likes to keep in touch with ex bf just incase we break up. I'm not sure but that's how it seems. I don't even look at her phone anymore, I decided it's not worth my sanity. I still feel like we have serious communication issues and if it's a topic she doesn't want to talk about she won't talk. I guess the biggest problem was that she doesn't show love very well, she also sucks at keeping in touch when we are away from each other. I get generic responses over text and basically talk to myself when I call, she never calls me are rarely text first. She gets distracted easy when I am trying to text her. There are alot of issues but I love her and I know she loves me but I think her parents relationship has alot to do with how she sees a relationship. Her father is always out of town and when he is home her parents act like friends. I never see them cuddling, kissing, flirting, ect. Idk I feel like she has seen her parents so distant her whole life so she doesn't know how to show love. I just feel like I do all the work in the relationship, from talking to having sex. I start the conversations, I kiss her first and am almost always the one to initiate a kiss or hug or say "I love you". I always intiate sex which makes me feel bad because I feel like she didn't want it. I almost always do all the work during sex and it's usually boring really because she isn't on my level sexually. Blowjobs and handjobs are basically non existent anymore. She finishes really fast most of the time and leaves me hanging every now and then saying I'm hurting her. I asked her to go to couples therapy with me to work on communication. I know I sounded like a paranoid sneaky weasel to begin with but I'm not like that around her. I don't ask her where she has been or whom she was with, I don't bug her about likes or comments on social media, I don't take her phone and Snoop anymore, I don't accuse her of anuthing. If I feel concerned or worried or threatened, I tell her how I feel. The problem is getting her to talk about stuff, she just isn't good at communicating and when someone has nothing to say it makes you over think everything and feel ignored. Like my feelings don't matter, when she is mad at me it could be days before she acts normal again and actually forgives me after hours of ignoring me. If I'm upset or mad about something no matter the severity it's like I'm not allowed to be, she won't allow me to stay upset. She will get mad at me for being mad and I fall for it every time. What is mean is I will be mad and she will get mad that I'm mad and just go to sleep and not talk to me about what I'm mad about then she says I'm aggravating her. I tried to tell her that it doesn't matter how petty something is if it upsets me she should understand and respect that. If she gets upset over something petty I apologize even if I think it's stupid because I know it hurt her feelings or upset her someway and it doesn't matter what I think because either way she is upset and me being a loving bf I don't want to see her upset so even if I don't understand what I did I try to and apologize for what I may have said or done.
