Anyone always have suicidal thoughts?

you need to find a confidence person, someone who will be there for you, even talking on phone. It will help. Doesnt have to be a shrink. Just an ear to listen.

Just Be said:

Meditation has been a very effective coping tool for me. It's allowed me to become more of a watcher of the thoughts rather than being controlled by them. Sure, the thoughts are not always pleasant but they're also not always present. I'm of the opinion that we're all a little 'schizophrenic' (for lack of a better term) ..and I'm also a firm believer that we're all here to better ourselves even if that means making healing somewhat of a hobby. Some folks choose to constantly distract themselves with family, jobs, pets, hobbies etc and they may never have the opportunity to truly know themselves. I believe that we're all responsible for the path that we're on and I feel that a path of introspection, rather than a path of distraction from our true selves, is the more rewarding path. Of course, these are only my opinions based on my own experience of having battled depression for well over 45 years. Best of luck and many blessings to you @shroomhaze. You have my support and my love. Feel free to DM me anytime. I mean it.

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Love this idea of continually turning in on ones self, looking back at the looker and sitting with your thoughts as one sits with a river or watches clouds pass by. No judgment, no control, just observation.

shroomhaze said:

The question is weird I know but I always consider suicide as an option. This may sound depressing for people but I am really not suicidal anymore. But I never stopped considering suicide as an option. Im going through probably the hardest times I have ever been through and there is a chance it is in fact going to keep getting worse, I dont know what future will bring so I dont think about it most days and try to stay in the present. But I know I might get stuck in a place in my life with no way out soon and when that happens I might just say fuck it and hope for the best about what will happen after death. This comes from a place where a person has lost their freedom to do almost anything in life, his choices in life has become very narrow in a third world country and might just keep loosing more and become just a slave. I dont why I put this here I guess a little weird to put on a cannabis forum lmao

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So very,very sorry. I can relate to that suffering that's so common in this world. Plucked from universe and tossed into the thresher. Relentless pain, wings clipped, progressively worse, not knowing how bad it may get, no escape.Terrifying. That will put that shit in my head, a quick release ( my fav is lounging on top of a nuke when it blows). Not in me though. I slug it out daily and try like hell to adapt. I have beautiful family and tons of critters that need me around. I Just try to power through these dark winds and hold tight.Wish I could come get you.

I think about killing my self more than not now a days weed helps me cope I still think about it when I'm stoned but it's like I feel like I can handle what ever OT is I'm going thru got my med prescription tho so I got tjst to look forward to only thing tjst sucks is I kinda have to be a closet smoker at this point so can't be stoned around family n stuff witch is good really caise atleadt then I can learn some how to cope for small periods of time besides my mum caise she's my mum I don't really wanna be around anyone anymore I'm convinced some point I'll either make it or wig out n end up in a padded room forever on one hand indont care if I end up there any more I'm so tired of not being able to get help for my adhd and finding out my other shit but it's on me at this point so I just gitta keep chipping away when things get to mutchbi just try n sleep it off tbh I know at some point I'll do it doas any ells think of diff ways it's always the same for me... down the road it's fucked tho I can never express fully wjatbim thinking n shit but at times I think it's cause of where I live and where I'm from maybe ppl just don't give a fuck the world can be a pretty mean place plus I fail at everything like my mums not getting any younger I hope I don't fuck up being there for her but once she goas I don't think I'll last long probably wasn't a good idea to start using dexies acid mdma again tho n not eating went fro 155 kilos to 91 so thsts apart of why I feel powerless n weak I just smoke now tho n make sure I buy food so most of tje battle really os just making sure I don't be a dick head and pul my head in but ye u have hope and a plan to dig my self out of this hole im pretty sure I'm dyslexic amd have discalclia one thing I stay away from sad negative shit n watch stuff like Andrew tate eat good exercise go outside I'm gunna start getting to tje beach as mutch as I can