Anyone else go through sexual perf. anxiety?

Hello all,
I have recently been going through some bad anxiety and it really is messing up my sex life. I suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder and due to marijuana making me even more of an anxious freak, I've quit smoking 1 1/2 months ago =[ That might sound bad, but I think the worst thing recently is that I can't even have sex. I can achieve a hard erection during foreplay but when I need to penetrate, I get anxious and completely go soft. This is not a one time thing as it has happened with the last 3 girls I was with(all gorgeous which doesn't help in my case GAD wise) As this has happened over and over again, it has torn apart my self confidence and self esteem as well. I am in my early 20's and have been to the doctor for numerous tests that could cause ED but they all come back clean as can be. I have looked online and I know I have sexual performance anxiety for a fact. Now I was recently put on buspar- GAD med(been 1 week) and have noticed slight improvements with my overall anxiety but full effects usually take 4-6 weeks to start. But for now, I was wondering if anything else could help me before sex... Anyone want to help me out with personal experiences in the RIU community? I have recently obtained xanax from a friend and it really puts me at ease when I have a somewhat panic attack but do you think I should try it before doin' the dirty? Any input will be appreciated and please refrain from rude, immature comments... Not like it would it hit me as this crap has brought me to an all-time low with my self confidence..
Thanks for looking

dude its happened to me when im with a girl for the first time and drunk.. Actually happened a couple weeks ago.I dunno I think the liquor plays a role but I hear what ur saying. But I still got some amazing head where she let me actually fuck her mouth for like 20 min.. I know a bit graphic but it was great,!! We didnt have a condom so it was probably a good thing anyways..

I've had sex like that, but ive also had long really good sex. I think the difference is often, honestly, how im feeling that day, confidence, ect. and of course the girl ur with and how well u know her.. I think honestly the best thing you can do is have sex more often... I know its gotta be hard with that being the case to start. Just find a girl who understands and practice alot.. Lol I needa find the same type of girl...

I just wanna add i dont think perscription meds are the solution.. honestly, when I go to the gym and take care of my body, eat right, I feel the best and preform better at everything i do. Dude it all comes down to confidence and thats the #1 thing that will effect your anxiety..

this same thing happend to me
i was just taling about this on another thread
everyone eles was saying how weed made them horny and iwas saying the same shit you talking now
what helped me was stopping smoking and start cardio (running)

JN811: Thx for the response. And no worries about being graphic. A girl I was with a couple months ago had to always give me head since I couldn't actually have sex with her. Amazing head btw ;] Anyways I feel it is related to my self confidence but I figured if I took a xanax, became care-free and not anxious, I could just finally have sex and have a bounce back in my self confidence. Don't get me wrong, I haven't always been like this confidence wise, it just happened once and now is in a never-ending cycle... I've done my fair share of research on the web and have come across men who took xanax that helped them get passed this because the xanax would make them thought-free which would not mess up their woody.

I remember one night I was with this blonde who I'd compare to Tara Reid. We were just fooling around and I was as stiff as a board. I take off her pants and she says to me" I like it rough" and right then my anxiety kicked in and I went limp. It's my racing thoughts right before sex that mess everything up. From my personal experiences on xanax, I'm a laid back person and don't have my normal constant,racing thoughts in my head. I just thought that xanax would help my sex situation. =/ I have recently started working out again and hitting up the beach to get some color in which I felt has always gave me a boost in confidence.

That 5hit: Weed did always make me horny except it amplified my anxiety x10, or atleast all the mary jane that I get in my area. Well I quit smoking 1 1/2 months ago for my anxiety problems and it has helped quite a bit for my overal GAD =] Now that I am going to start lifting weights again, I will surely incorporate some cardio into my regime. As sad as it sounds, I have not ran since freshman year of highschool... Besides the occasional 100M dash over fences running from cops busting my underaged parties LOL Anyways thanks for the reply =]

That 5hit said:

this same thing happend to me
i was just taling about this on another thread
everyone eles was saying how weed made them horny and iwas saying the same shit you talking now
what helped me was stopping smoking and start cardio (running)

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ya dude, runnings great for anxiety.. I can fuck way better if Ive run during the day.. It takes away all that nervous energy... I run 4 miles at least 3 times a week.. got it down to 28 min.. I lift too...

im anti perscriptions, but thats just me.. I hear ya dude that shit sucks... hopefully that shit works for you, if not try running I would swear by it..

Ya Im definitely going to start a workout routine. I was working out heavily last year of high school but started smoking to the point where I lost all my motivation to workout... I'm not overweight at all, Im naturally slim 5,9 135 pounds. I remember my senior year of high school I was maxing at 175 and I weighed 125!~ Too bad I took the meaning of "high" school literally....

And I plan to do some beach runs for cardio. I love the beach as it has always cooled my anxiety just due to the environment. I bet beach+cardio= double relaxation

Thanks for the helpful advice

ya, man weed is demotivational if you wanna work out.. Ill smoke a bowl, and then be like "fuck it, Ill go to the gym tomorrow.." and then the same thing happens the next day .. lol.. It crazy, weed definetly has effects on your phyche, but I feel like when I work out and eat right and actually do shit i can smoke all day and still feel great.. Its when I act like a bumb and dont do shit that i feel like shit..
I love working out though.. btw i weight 145 max out at 245 but that was a year ago.... Probably around 215 right now..

I sometimes get to the point where I feel completely smoked out and just want to stop smoking for a period of time and get my shit together..

Sure is... I know what you say how you can control yourself, but I simply can't =/ Why I think taking a break from bud will help me out for the long run for now. Once I get my shit back together, I'll start toking up again. I actually look forward to it since it'll be middle school all over again getting so high I laugh hysterically for no reason and hit up 7 11 buying a slurpee and 10 bux in swedish fish and gummy worms LMAO xD

dude, do what you have to do.. Ill tell you, I use to, and still do smoke shit loads of weed.. ive taken breaks occasionally and thats usually when im at my best.. lol probably a lot who will disagree with that on here.. but sometimes you just needa take a break to get ur shit together.. Im 25 now, and believe me you learn a lot about yourself during ur early 20s..

plus you should just be happy that u can get laid, cause a lot of guys cant and thats a way worse problem to have

Ya I feel I got a lot a stuff to learn about myself at this age. And ya man I totally agree and I've told myself that over and over again. Not to brag, but it's not just getting laid by just any girls, these girls are usually always beautiful...A big part why my anxiety comes into play. Maybe I need to mess around with some ugly chicks for awhile ;]

NewbGrower^.^ said:

Ya I feel I got a lot a stuff to learn about myself at this age. And ya man I totally agree and I've told myself that over and over again. Not to brag, but it's not just getting laid by just any girls, these girls are usually always beautiful...A big part why my anxiety comes into play. Maybe I need to mess around with some ugly chicks for awhile ;]

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hahaha dude give it a shot! dude.. i can tell you the secret.. it only will work if ur confident though.. ready.. Dont put the pussy on a petistool...! lmfao..
haha but for real though.. Im sure you dont think u do but thats what it sounds like to me.. And ill admit it sometimes i do it too.. When youre fucking a hot bitch, or even approaching one, you shouldnt act like they are the prize.. I know, easier said than done.. But you need to know how great you are and what you have to offer.. I know it sounds stupid but its the key to getting over your sexual anxiety as well as anxiety in general.. Fuck its hard to explain but I think u get the jist of what im trying to convey..

dude, i really think ull get over it though, its just part of life and you have PLENTY of time to learn to get over it and PLENTY of bitches left to fuck. Dont stress it..

I get you man. haha I just sometimes feel I have to set such a high standard and take shit too seriously. I'll get over this shit I know i will. Just looking for helpful comments and you sure have given them(no sarcasm)

cool dude, well i wish ya the best! Dont worry all the bitches will be back in action for spring! Fuck Im excited! lmfao.. Just fuck some hos for a while, thats what im doing right now. Id honestly like to fuck 1 girl from every race / country (well all the good ones ) before i get married. Probably will never happen but its a good goal to have I gotta get to sleep its 5 am. Peace dude.

Haha That's a real to-do list Good luck mate and thanks for everything Good talk'n

sexual performance anxiety...what are you, gay? nah im JK man.....but nah, no probs here. Ive fucked on camera, in front of people, in public places... no anxiety here. But Im a depraved sex addict so dont listen to me.