shortlove927
Member
You know that saying, “you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have?” This me. I don’t want to be strong anymore.
Are you living with mental illness?
- Thread starter shortlove927
- Start date
PadawanWarrior
Well-Known Member
Stay strong. Good vibes are coming your way.Let’s Talk!
first of all my name is Sierra Sutherland, I’m 30 from California. I was born with a physical disability (Larsens Syndrome), which affects bones and joints. I use a wheelchair for long distances and more so over the years daily and hard of hearing. I have had over 20 surgeries growing up with more ahead including scoliosis and a c-section. In 2013, I gave birth to my son which was a surprise for my disability to be able togo as far as we did, but in 2014 my world crashed and ended up losing my son throughout the night of nov 4.
flash forward to 2021, I am now suffering with mental illness suicidal, depression, bipolar, anxiety and grief. I have questioned my parents why they chose to have me when they did, I don’t see why anyone wants me around being so upset with life. I feel like the biggest failure of a mom, friend, sister and daughter. I have messed up a couple of relationships due to my mental health, I push away the ones who try to love me. I am a very independent person, having another person makes it even harder to be happy, but I don’t want to be alone.
Anyways feel free to join in, ill update like a blog
-Sierra
sdboltdude
Well-Known Member
Sometimes being strong is just getting by the moment
It is not easy being strong minded
1 step at a time 1 breath at a time get yourself to the next step forward.
mudballs
Well-Known Member
i hit reply and looked at the QUOTE on my screen for a long time, thinking about what to write that could help someone that felt the need to write what you wrote. the good souls posted to help best they can, and now at my weakest in life, i must also help someone in the same dark abyss im in.
i listened to God, he said stop...lay down, and breath, that's all i require of you. Cry if you must, i will hold your hand and head till you find solace.
A broken soul is a scary thing to look at, so be a beautiful thing in this world...smile for me, just once...it is all i require of you
sdboltdude
Well-Known Member
Stop lay down and breathe
So true
Take the time meditate close your eye
Empty your thoughts and chill with nothing in your head.
Even if only a second it will help..
Paul Drake
Well-Known Member
The best help I can give you is to find a psychiatrist that you can talk to about meds.
I’m sorry but you’re probably going to need to take them forever once you find something that helps.
I’ve seen therapist and shrinks for 35 years. If not for them I definitely wouldn’t be here.
Don’t give up. I take a LOT of meds but they help. You’ll find the right combination with a trusting psychiatrist.
And pray
I’m sorry but you’re probably going to need to take them forever once you find something that helps.
I’ve seen therapist and shrinks for 35 years. If not for them I definitely wouldn’t be here.
Don’t give up. I take a LOT of meds but they help. You’ll find the right combination with a trusting psychiatrist.
And pray
It's a diagnosable disorder in the DSM V and I remember it from the DSM II (back when I was in school)
Depression Definition and DSM-5 Diagnostic Criteria
What is depression? How can we define depression in a way that highlights the difference between sadness and depression symptoms? Depression, otherwise known as major depressive disorder or clinical depression, is a common and serious mood disorder.
www.psycom.net
Hope you are doing ok. I wish you the very best.
shortlove927
Member
I feel this 100%
shortlove927
Member
As I’m sitting here contemplating whether I should go back to the ER due to having pain with what I believe is coming from a hernia mesh I had implanted back in 2015, I also find myself contemplating whether or not I am trying to escape from reality and just be away from my current situation and try another chapter at life ? Idk I feel so lost anymore trying to figure out where to fit in anymore, I want to be happy. I can’t be alone, mentally I need someone around, but what happens when you’re not happy like you used too be?
Herb & Suds
Well-Known Member
Null
PURPLEB3RRYKUSH
Well-Known Member
PTSD right here
PURPLEB3RRYKUSH
Well-Known Member
Exercise is key and keep your brain busy.
hotrodharley
Well-Known Member
Have you tried or considered trying shrooms? I’m sorry you’ve been through all the crap you’ve been through. My daughter has a story too. This is a terrible time right now and the stressors are numerous. I’m not religious so no prayers for you but I’ll think positive thoughts for you. Peace.
Shew I’m not sure I know anyone that doesn’t have some mental issues. I’ve been feeling it worse lately myself. Doesn’t make sense at all I’m literally living my dream of growing full time and I moved to a legal state so I don’t have the worry of being locked up anymore. But I feel so down, and just tired all the time. It’s a chore to get anything done. I avoid doing stuff constantly and end up paying someone just to do simple household things. About the only thing I do get done consistently is gardening. I feel like I should be doing more and that gets me down even more. Im not even 40 yet, I feel like my parents nearing 70 are more active and energetic. I’ve always been fairly low energy but it’s gotten worse. I smoke weed constantly and I’m sure that doesn’t help much, but otherwise I just feel so uneasy.
Well thanks for listening sometimes it just helps to write it down, this is by far not the lowest point in my life so for those of you struggling with more you will get thru this we always do.
Well thanks for listening sometimes it just helps to write it down, this is by far not the lowest point in my life so for those of you struggling with more you will get thru this we always do.
Paul Drake
Well-Known Member
Ah yes I know, but it’s a cycle of oh I’ll feel better if I smoke and then it just leads to smoking most of the day. I’m not at all good at saying no to myself, it took years of being locked up to get me off hard drugs. (Clean since 2012)
As far as the meme goes, exactly it’s weird to have everything you need and a lot of what you want and still feel down.
Rozgreenburn
Well-Known Member
Remember, you are the driver. I have a brother who is a great guy but, he always said " I can't be alone". I told him that he has to be happy with himself before one can be hoping another person will make one happy/satisfied. Break the cycle. You are the one in charge. Positive vibes coming your way! Be well...
StonedGardener
Well-Known Member
It's so important to get comfy with yourself when living alone at an early age in your life ( if ya got a job and can swing it ) . Ya just have to learn to make it on your own , become selfsuffecent, get grounded. It's a real insightful experience....an invaluable education.
shortlove927
Member
I love all of the responses 
I have been trying to focus only on positive in my life. Negative really makes me into someone I don’t want to be or anyone to be around. I have cut people out or made different choices mentally the past few weeks. I’m hoping this holiday season can be joyful and not depressing. Looking for a new car is stressful amongst having a fixed income but praying something comes through.
I have been trying to focus only on positive in my life. Negative really makes me into someone I don’t want to be or anyone to be around. I have cut people out or made different choices mentally the past few weeks. I’m hoping this holiday season can be joyful and not depressing. Looking for a new car is stressful amongst having a fixed income but praying something comes through.