Yessica...
Well-Known Member
oh but it's sooooooo awesome.
You just get to talk about yourself, and bitch, and complain FOR AN HOUR!!!
I can't explain how great it is. I feel SO MUCH better after. Always.
Break ups: The survivors guide. WITH SCHEMATICS. Please add your 2 cents...
- Thread starter Yessica...
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You just get to talk about yourself, and bitch, and complain FOR AN HOUR!!!
I can't explain how great it is. I feel SO MUCH better after. Always.
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
Hmm...breakup advice?
1st: Under no circumstances attempt to contact your ex, UNLESS it's for practical purposes (i.e, all the logistics involved in one person moving out, splitting up shared property, etc.)
Always keep communication civil, even if they try to draw the conversation into the emotional side of things or start taking jabs.
Make it difficult for yourself to contact your ex, delete their contact, phone number, text threads, etc. If in the event you feel compelled to text or call your ex, text or call a friend instead. A support system in this time is crucial.
2nd: Keep yourself busy. Do anything and everything you can to occupy your mind and body. Clean, do yardwork, pull out the fucking fridge and do some deep cleaning, anything. Anything to keep your mind off the situation...Just stay busy.
3rd: Know that things will get better (as bleak as they seem).You are in complete control of your life and the direction it's going. No one, but you can affect it's path. No one, but you, is responsible for where you are now. Not a former lover, or girlfriend, or boyfriend. Things will get better.
4th: Grieve. Any person you love that's no longer in your life, whether it be through death, or divorce, or breakup, deserves a certain level of grief. Grieve your relationship and give yourself plenty of time to do so. Perhaps the worst part of losing someone you love in a relationship, is the fact that, in effect, you're in grief for someone still living, but who is lost to you. It bears no difference as to the effect though, the stages of grief still occur in the same order.
That's about all I can think of at the moment, I'm sorry you have that shit to deal with yessica. My relationship of 2 years just imploded this morning...shit is super hard. Stay strong.
I'll leave you with a poem that has brought me strength in dark times...
http://mwkworks.com/desiderata.html
1st: Under no circumstances attempt to contact your ex, UNLESS it's for practical purposes (i.e, all the logistics involved in one person moving out, splitting up shared property, etc.)
Always keep communication civil, even if they try to draw the conversation into the emotional side of things or start taking jabs.
Make it difficult for yourself to contact your ex, delete their contact, phone number, text threads, etc. If in the event you feel compelled to text or call your ex, text or call a friend instead. A support system in this time is crucial.
2nd: Keep yourself busy. Do anything and everything you can to occupy your mind and body. Clean, do yardwork, pull out the fucking fridge and do some deep cleaning, anything. Anything to keep your mind off the situation...Just stay busy.
3rd: Know that things will get better (as bleak as they seem).You are in complete control of your life and the direction it's going. No one, but you can affect it's path. No one, but you, is responsible for where you are now. Not a former lover, or girlfriend, or boyfriend. Things will get better.
4th: Grieve. Any person you love that's no longer in your life, whether it be through death, or divorce, or breakup, deserves a certain level of grief. Grieve your relationship and give yourself plenty of time to do so. Perhaps the worst part of losing someone you love in a relationship, is the fact that, in effect, you're in grief for someone still living, but who is lost to you. It bears no difference as to the effect though, the stages of grief still occur in the same order.
That's about all I can think of at the moment, I'm sorry you have that shit to deal with yessica. My relationship of 2 years just imploded this morning...shit is super hard. Stay strong.
I'll leave you with a poem that has brought me strength in dark times...
http://mwkworks.com/desiderata.html
BygonEra
Well-Known Member
I've been with the same guy for almost 8 years, on and off. He's mostly a douche and our relationship is entirely dysfunctional and we live together and have a dog together. I can give excellent relationship advice only because I'm vicariously living through the successful relationships of other people... sigh... one day maybe........
Moral of the story... don't get stuck with a douchebag and have repetitive mediocre sex for 8 years. Stick to yer gunz! Stay busy and find a hot dude to hook up with.
Moral of the story... don't get stuck with a douchebag and have repetitive mediocre sex for 8 years. Stick to yer gunz! Stay busy and find a hot dude to hook up with.
Farmer's Hat
Well-Known Member
Lol. Dont get attached. Have fun, enjoy each other, but dont get attached... then letting go is easy.
You could focuse on what u lost, or the possibilities that lie ahead.
You could focuse on what u lost, or the possibilities that lie ahead.
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
Sorry about your break up - how you doing? Mine was just over 2 years. The feels, oh the feels...
I have both been following, and COMPLETELY not following your advice. I'm kind of bipolar, it's hard to stick to the sane path most times.
i know though. I know what I should and should not be doing.
I'm going to be in this living situation (with the ex) for probably at least a month, maybe 2.
My problem is, I still love him. Like in love with him. Sucks ass, my brain is telling me to stop. But the rest of me just won't let go.
New job starts today, and I will volunteer this week, and gym time. Getting a rocking hot body is the best break up advice I can give myself.
I've been this way my whole life, almost. This was the relationship I decided to be emotionally available for. Well, kind of. In my own way.
I'll do a few not cares before I find the one. I'm sure.
Thanks so much. It hasn't even been 2 weeks yet and I'm still real bummed a lot of the time.
Fucking feelings, they can eat a bag of dicks.
Oh NO! Why do you stay? That sounds like a nightmare.I've been with the same guy for almost 8 years, on and off. He's mostly a douche and our relationship is entirely dysfunctional and we live together and have a dog together. I can give excellent relationship advice only because I'm vicariously living through the successful relationships of other people... sigh... one day maybe........
Moral of the story... don't get stuck with a douchebag and have repetitive mediocre sex for 8 years. Stick to yer gunz! Stay busy and find a hot dude to hook up with.
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The feels fucking hurt right now haha. The bed seemed mighty empty last night...fuck. I'll get through it, though. The ex is supposed to have her stuff outta the house this week and then it's goodbye, I suppose. Dunno how I'm going to make bills, since this place is way out of my budget, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
You're going to be living with the ex for another 1-2 months? That's rough. I got divorced 4 years ago and was living with my ex wife for a month and half after we split up before I found my own place...not a good time. Get the fuck out of that situation as soon as possible (I'm Captain Obvious this morning, apparently).
I think I'm gonna go clean behind the fridge now. Later, Yessica!
You're going to be living with the ex for another 1-2 months? That's rough. I got divorced 4 years ago and was living with my ex wife for a month and half after we split up before I found my own place...not a good time. Get the fuck out of that situation as soon as possible (I'm Captain Obvious this morning, apparently).
I think I'm gonna go clean behind the fridge now. Later, Yessica!
BygonEra
Well-Known Member
It is, and I smoke too much weed and drink too much wine and psych myself out too much to follow through with anything. We have the most ridiculous explosive arguments and the next day, act like it never happened because it happens so much and tell each other how much we love each other. He's not an awful guy at all and I'm constantly told how cute we are together, when are we getting married, etc. which just makes it that much harder for me to put my foot down and end it. Our lives are totally intertwined, we might as well have been married for the past 7 years. The stress of being together almost always seems to win over the stress of breaking up. I'm hoping I just reach my breaking point soon and move away or something... though he'll probably follow me. That happened once. And then sometimes I tell myself that I truly love him and I'll be throwing something really important away if I end things with him, thinking he just needs to grow up a little bit and things will be great. It's all stupid. I feel like one of those women who end up defending their husband in an abusive relationship. I'm also very insecure for a particular reason and that has severely hindered my hope for having a better relationship beyond this one, though it really shouldn't.
Don't end up like me!! Honestly, I need to stop smoking and drinking, get a new job, and maybe I'll get somewhere.
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
I'm at work right now, but I'd be real interested to talk about this more. PM me!
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
This is my inner monologue that I’m half saying to me, and half saying to the Ex:
Why the fuck do you think I would want to hear about your new house and wonderful life plans? You fucking selfish no nothing twat face.
He’s sitting here telling me about new artistic drawings he is getting and the motif of his very nice house he is planning on buying, in the country. The one that we were supposed to get together.
Now, I’m not sobbing, I’m not beating my hands on the walls screaming WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY have you done this to me????????!!!!!! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME???
I’m doing the opposite.
I just made supper, cleaned up after, helped take down some things from the walls in the kitchen because he’s going to paint. And now we are about to watch the Sixth Sense, at my suggestion.
Now he’s talking about a fucking lamp he’s going to get, and it’s going to be over his bed! Hahahaha
This dude is fucking whack. I’m actually thinking it’s pretty funny. He seriously must have mentally checked out of this relationship fucking ages ago. He’s totally cool with hanging out.
And you know what, at the moment I feel not too bad about it either.
I don’t need to say this shit to him. It has become painfully clear to me, that we are just far too different. WAAAAAAAAAY too different to have ever worked out.
So, I’m getting more and more ok with this break up. One day at a time, and all that nonsense.
Tears, oh there will be more tears. I’m a fucking emotional fucking person. Hahaha
As long as I can bitch here, to you lovely souls, I think everything is going to be ok.
It's true. Bitches be cray...
Why the fuck do you think I would want to hear about your new house and wonderful life plans? You fucking selfish no nothing twat face.
He’s sitting here telling me about new artistic drawings he is getting and the motif of his very nice house he is planning on buying, in the country. The one that we were supposed to get together.
Now, I’m not sobbing, I’m not beating my hands on the walls screaming WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY have you done this to me????????!!!!!! WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME???
I’m doing the opposite.
I just made supper, cleaned up after, helped take down some things from the walls in the kitchen because he’s going to paint. And now we are about to watch the Sixth Sense, at my suggestion.
Now he’s talking about a fucking lamp he’s going to get, and it’s going to be over his bed! Hahahaha
This dude is fucking whack. I’m actually thinking it’s pretty funny. He seriously must have mentally checked out of this relationship fucking ages ago. He’s totally cool with hanging out.
And you know what, at the moment I feel not too bad about it either.
I don’t need to say this shit to him. It has become painfully clear to me, that we are just far too different. WAAAAAAAAAY too different to have ever worked out.
So, I’m getting more and more ok with this break up. One day at a time, and all that nonsense.
Tears, oh there will be more tears. I’m a fucking emotional fucking person. Hahaha
As long as I can bitch here, to you lovely souls, I think everything is going to be ok.
It's true. Bitches be cray...
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mr sunshine
Well-Known Member
Whenever you wanna see my little birdy dick, let me know. your bf sounds like a pussy.lamp?? Unless he's planning on growing weed with it ,That's pussy shit.
Gawd, Tyra can be a scary lookin bitch when she wants to be.
Yeah, fuck that chump! That's the attitude to have, Yess.
And since we're both newly single, bring that fine ass up to Alaska. I'll have you barefoot and pregnant in no time! We'll have all sorts of zombie chillun running around, it'll be awesome.
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
You're in LASKA??? Neat. I'm Thunder Bay - almost the same weather.
I like it here though, maybe you might want to consider a move? hahaha
I'll get YOU pregnant. It's SCIENCE.
"I had an embryo implanted into my ABDOMEN" hahaha love that movie...
I'd totally have your baby!
Yep, Alaska. The land of pasty white people with drinking problems.
Yessica...
Well-Known Member
Yup, sounds a lot like northern Canada.
insidagain
Well-Known Member
Hi yessi, I'm happy you are feeling a bit better. Good thing you didn't give him the back-door key. You would really be butt-hurt.
