See, I understand everything about your arguments. But, what I see is that you, like most, are hyper-focusing on a microcosm of a much larger issue. When focusing on these microcosms, it is very easy to think that issues are concrete and obvious. But, when you see things on a larger scale, things become less clear. This is where people realize that in the face of all there is to be known, we are all idiots. It is a humbling experience.
When one begins to see the big picture, one comes to the conclusion that most of the time things are the way they are for a reason. Things are the way they are because cultural norms take a long time to evolve and are tested by time and by many people. This process isn't perfect, but it is certainly better than what most of us are able to think up on our own.