Doing the Greenback Laundry

sparkafire

sparkafire

Well-Known Member
I am getting closer and closer to needing some advise as to how to do the laundry shuffle with funds and assets. I know you don't drive fancy cars buy houses with cash. Carry 10's of thousands of dollars on your person. I have the common sense thing down. But what other options are there? I was thinking if I only needed lets say 6000 a month for whatever and I needed to wash another 6 g's what would be the best and safest way of doing so?

Think outside the box here what could you do with the extra$$$? fund an IRA to the max? Put the money in cashiers checks and stuff and envelope with them.? or do you just stuff a can out back in case of a rainy day? I am interested in hearing what you can come up with .
 
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B-kush-420

Active Member
never heard of a safe deposit box??(someone elses name is a good idea) 6gs isnt near enought to actually launder propperly enless you saved for years and did a couple half mil shots and you might get pinched before that
 
thelastpirate

thelastpirate

Well-Known Member
Given the current state of our economy, cash on hand is a good thing. You can invest in some untracable "portable" investments like gold coins, gems, etc. but nothing beats a good supply of cash on hand in a crisis. Safety deposit boxes are out, as they show up as an asset in your bank records. Find a good place to stash a great deal of cash, make sure it's readily accesible, and the location can't be easily tied to you. If you are at that point you're asking about this, I might suggest a real good investment, that you lay around $1000 on a bondsman (that way, they'll accept a collect call from you if need be), and another $1000 or $1500 on an attorney. In a crisis situation, just KNOWING that you will get out of jail immediately, and your rights are preserved is invaluable.

Remember the the only 6 words you need to know in a bust. "Ask the suit, he knows everything."
 
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dknob

New Member
Cash isnt always best with an economy like ours. We're at risk for hyper inflation. If you're wondering what that is, check out pictures of children playing with huge blocks of cash in Germany right before National Socialism(Hitler) won the hearts of them all (Hello Barrack Obama). People took wheelbarrows of cash just to buy groceries because it lost its value. I don't recall if this was caused by a tyrannical central banking system like ours, but I wouldnt be surprised. Buy a good fucking amount of Silver. The shit is cheap, and more of it is used(demand) industrially than gold. Silver shares many properties gold does. Also the reason everyone used to drink/eat off silver plates and silver goblets etc is because silver naturally either kills germs or some shit like that. Been awhile since that read. It was a cleanliness thing.

As for the laundering, I have no experience.

....
But what if I bought 6g's in gold from one metals dealer, and then sold it to the dealer across town? I dunno if thats how it works.

thelastpirate said:
Given the current state of our economy, cash on hand is a good thing. You can invest in some untracable "portable" investments like gold coins, gems, etc. but nothing beats a good supply of cash on hand in a crisis. Safety deposit boxes are out, as they show up as an asset in your bank records. Find a good place to stash a great deal of cash, make sure it's readily accesible, and the location can't be easily tied to you. If you are at that point you're asking about this, I might suggest a real good investment, that you lay around $1000 on a bondsman (that way, they'll accept a collect call from you if need be), and another $1000 or $1500 on an attorney. In a crisis situation, just KNOWING that you will get out of jail immediately, and your rights are preserved is invaluable.

Remember the the only 6 words you need to know in a bust. "Ask the suit, he knows everything."
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thelastpirate

thelastpirate

Well-Known Member
"Hyper-inflation" or no, I'd be one hell of alot more comfortable with cash on hand than in the stock market. Dude was asking how to "hide", or at least manage the surplus cash.
You just have to invest it in something thats both anonymous, and relatively stable. Gold, investment quality stones, bearer bonds etc. all leave no paper trail. They are portable, fairly easy to convert to cash and generally hold thier value.
Offshore banking has it's merits also. It aint what it was in the late 70s early 80s, but it is still pretty anonymous. Offshore banks are paying MAD interest rates also.
Just use common sense. Don't go buying beyond your visible means. Start a business. You can "convert" alot of money into legally taxed dollars that way. The IRS really doesn't give a shit WHERE the money comes from as long as they get thiers. It just has to have the appearance of legitimacy.

If it were me, I'd make sure to have plenty of those cans buried somewhere, then start some sort of "consulting" business. You can conjure up all kinds of clients who pay you cash that you then deposit, and pay taxes on. These "clients" should be anonymous, or overseas clients that are hard to trace. Granted, this is an oversimplfication, but it works. If you get really big, look at getting an accountant. Lawyers and accountants are legal thieves that no business can do without. They can keep you out of jail.
 
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dknob

New Member
I never said stock market. And you don't want to be stuck with just cash during hyper-inflation. a 100 dollar bill could be worth a fraction of a penny in the event of hyper inflation. In fact your change would be worth more than the paper. The germans used cash as wallpaper, cause that was cheaper. They burned cash to stay warm. Silver is as good as Gold, depending on who you ask, silver is a better investment. Also, having an ounce of gold is like having a 1000 dollar bill, or maybe a couple million or billion dollars during hyper inflation depending on how bad it gets. Silver is like a smaller denomination bill ya know what I mean? O and whenever I talk about buying metals, I mean have possession of them, not to invest in silver funds etc.

thelastpirate said:
"Hyper-inflation" or no, I'd be one hell of alot more comfortable with cash on hand than in the stock market. Dude was asking how to "hide", or at least manage the surplus cash.
You just have to invest it in something thats both anonymous, and relatively stable. Gold, investment quality stones, bearer bonds etc. all leave no paper trail. They are portable, fairly easy to convert to cash and generally hold thier value.
Offshore banking has it's merits also. It aint what it was in the late 70s early 80s, but it is still pretty anonymous. Offshore banks are paying MAD interest rates also.
Just use common sense. Don't go buying beyond your visible means. Start a business. You can "convert" alot of money into legally taxed dollars that way. The IRS really doesn't give a shit WHERE the money comes from as long as they get thiers. It just has to have the appearance of legitimacy.

If it were me, I'd make sure to have plenty of those cans buried somewhere, then start some sort of "consulting" business. You can conjure up all kinds of clients who pay you cash that you then deposit, and pay taxes on. These "clients" should be anonymous, or overseas clients that are hard to trace. Granted, this is an oversimplfication, but it works. If you get really big, look at getting an accountant. Lawyers and accountants are legal thieves that no business can do without. They can keep you out of jail.
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F

flow

Active Member
Yeah I agree with dknob. Buy gold, silver, platinum, and a nice safe to put em in. Only keep cash on hand if you want it to lose like 10% of its value per year for at least the next couple years.

If you're too big for that, then starting a business is really the only thing you can do to keep the apperance of legitamacy.
 
mstrymxer

mstrymxer

Well-Known Member
you need a business with no inventory...period.. house cleaning is the best. you need to get a business liscense and then you can open a bank account under that bus. at that point you can deposit cash of varying amounts at various times but youd want to make it reasonable. not 3 or 4 gs a week. maybe your bus does 10 or 12 houses a week so you could do between 1000 and 1200 or something. then if you want to be real safe get maybe some shirts with your bus name and a buch of cleaning supplies and keep em in your garage incase the IRS or someone investigates you. sure youll have to pay taxes on it but its very safe. so then if you got investigated you could be like heres my supplies and uniforms and tell em that your the only employee right now but your hoping to make enough to hire someone one day. then you can make up some books for your deposits and shit. i wouldnt go out and buy a bunch of anything(gold or investments) imo because if the irs investigates you they need to know where the capital for those investments came from.
 
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captainbud

Active Member
def an all cash business, get yourself a laundromat if you can. Also a good one is buy a run down house in a nice neighborhood, I know, real estate is crap right now, but I'm talking a real junker in a great hood. then fix it up paying cash for everything.
 
Trader Bill

Trader Bill

Active Member
Speaking from a lot of experience my advice to you is to use the money you have made to get yourself set up in a legitimate business. It's only a matter of time before someone gets busted and rolls over on you. That's the problem with selling drugs.
 
GrowTech

GrowTech

stays relevant.
Coin operated vending machine business... machines are cheap, and there is no way to identify what each machine pulls in.
 
K

korvette1977

Well-Known Member
Here are some idea's
Buy some gold bars ,
buy some flip houses , or rental property's
Go to Vegas and have a good time
buy a vintage muscle car
open an online business
Buy some land
 
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apc

Active Member
buy a fucking sweet computer...(dual monitor mac preferred) get yourself a business license. get a merchant services account. wham... except credit cards from your Web Design/ hosting / Search engine optimization company. put cash onto 1k pre paid visa cards. you can do this all over the place. then pay yourself all day long. actually hire some employees and get them working for you actually doing these things..then you are just really successful and can buy whatever the fuck you want. mix the bad with the good. thats why its called America
 
trollmage

trollmage

Active Member
safest way to launder money period: go to vegas and buy in all your cash, play a little(dont lose your hard earned cash) enjoy your self and cash all your money out.

nobody cares about people buying in chips, its when you cashout they take your name and such down, at which point all the money you cashed out was legally won, you have that money legally taxed, and now youre a professional (insert casino game here) player, with legit money to spend anywhere anyhow (because you will claim those winnings on your tax)
 
chuckbane

chuckbane

New Member
dknob said:
I never said stock market. And you don't want to be stuck with just cash during hyper-inflation. a 100 dollar bill could be worth a fraction of a penny in the event of hyper inflation. In fact your change would be worth more than the paper. The germans used cash as wallpaper, cause that was cheaper. They burned cash to stay warm. Silver is as good as Gold, depending on who you ask, silver is a better investment. Also, having an ounce of gold is like having a 1000 dollar bill, or maybe a couple million or billion dollars during hyper inflation depending on how bad it gets. Silver is like a smaller denomination bill ya know what I mean? O and whenever I talk about buying metals, I mean have possession of them, not to invest in silver funds etc.
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what in the fuck are you talking about kid?

"Silver is like a smaller denomination bill ya know what I mean?"

buuuuahahahaahaha!!!!

whaaaaaatttttt?

stop spreading "disinformation"

please door knob
 
connoisseurde420

connoisseurde420

Well-Known Member
If you dont know what youre talking about dont reply... This person has a legitimte question, that many people out there are wondering everyday. Lets promote real ideas.
One thing is for sure, you need to open up a business, that is how all money in any good amount is cleaned up, ie Tony Montana - mortagage; mobsters - bars,restaraunts; rappers - record companies. Has any one been to an asian PHO' house (cash only) with 5 different foriegn vehicles individually worth over 60k parked outside??? Hmm something is going on here dont ya think! Reasearch is your key. Did anyone ever hear that the guy who made millions on 'girls gone wild' had money in offshore accts. same with guy who owned the escort agency that was employing that girl who got caught up with that politican from new york. keep your eye out, seek and you shall find.

-c
 
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captainsmegma

Active Member
Consultancy.

Get yourself a business license as a consultant of some sort (the more mundane the better, i.e., computer tech is better than adult entertainment advisor), set up a business account using your license, then funnel money in. It will show up as business income, from which you can pay yourself. If you have a lot of money to convert, rent an office somewhere and claim that as an expense. Make sure your taxes reflect business-related expenses (pens, computer depreciation, home office, etc.) and try to keep the amounts inconsistent ($10,045 this month, $9,987 next month, etc.).
 
chuckbane

chuckbane

New Member
captainsmegma said:
Consultancy.

Get yourself a business license as a consultant of some sort (the more mundane the better, i.e., computer tech is better than adult entertainment advisor), set up a business account using your license, then funnel money in. It will show up as business income, from which you can pay yourself. If you have a lot of money to convert, rent an office somewhere and claim that as an expense. Make sure your taxes reflect business-related expenses (pens, computer depreciation, home office, etc.) and try to keep the amounts inconsistent ($10,045 this month, $9,987 next month, etc.).
Click to expand...
make sure to keep some paper around too. just in case of an audit. Track phony business results every week or so
 
sparkafire

sparkafire

Well-Known Member
captainsmegma said:
Consultancy.

Get yourself a business license as a consultant of some sort (the more mundane the better, i.e., computer tech is better than adult entertainment advisor), set up a business account using your license, then funnel money in. It will show up as business income, from which you can pay yourself. If you have a lot of money to convert, rent an office somewhere and claim that as an expense. Make sure your taxes reflect business-related expenses (pens, computer depreciation, home office, etc.) and try to keep the amounts inconsistent ($10,045 this month, $9,987 next month, etc.).
Click to expand...
Crap i just closed a corp that i did consulting work with !! Oh well its not hard to start another
 
TheBrutalTruth

TheBrutalTruth

Well-Known Member
GrowTech said:
Coin operated vending machine business... machines are cheap, and there is no way to identify what each machine pulls in.
Click to expand...
Cash Businesses,

Vending Machines

Of course, you have to already be in the business, or use legitimate funds to start it up so that they don't have reason to suspect that you are using illegal funds.

Or the trip to Vegas. Just out of the blue. Or if you are on the East Coast, Atlantic City.

There's a few other ways, but the Vending Machines and fake wins at Casinos are probably the easiest.

Other ways just get more and more complex.

The important thing is to remember that you need to have legitimate funds to start a business, and then you can slowly feed in money to mimic a growing business.

Though the problem is that then you'll have to pay taxes on the money (which is a good idea, because Al Capone got snagged for Income Tax Evasion) as it comes into the business.

Also means you have to spend a lot of time doing business related things, and establish bookkeeping just in case the business gets audited.

Laundering money is a pain in the ass if you do it properly.
 
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