Fathers: What did yours teach you? What's the most important thing to teach your kids?

Hookabelly

Hookabelly

Well-Known Member
lahadaextranjera said:
My Father taught me so much. I feel fortunate to have had such a worldly, successful influence in my life.

If it hadn't been for him I may not have moved abroad.

The most valuable lesson he taught me was that your wealth can't buy your health.
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Boy did I see THIS first hand. So true.

mr sunshine said:
My dad's great he's funny. Really down to earth and he likes all the same sports teams I like! ain't that a fucken coincidence?
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You def. got that sense of humor. You're one of the funniest guys on RIU.

Foothills said:
My dad was a illiterate alcoholic with bipolar disorder and suffered from depression his entire life. He wasn't around much for most of my childhood. His mother died early on and his father gave up the kids to be raised in a State institution. He knew very little about things like responsibility, love, morals, values, or compassion. After all, in the institutions back then, it was every man for himself. Thus, he was institutionalized mentally for his entire life, but did have 6 children by my mother, after running away from the institution at 17 years old.

My father did manage to teach me carpentry and some masonry. He also taught me to love the outdoors and nature, things he was deprived of for so long. He was a one man show and crazy as shit. We've smoked together and partied together on several occasions and I will always love and miss him. He, along with many others, was never dealt a winning hand and had way to much to overcome in life.

I, as a father, will always make sure that my son never has to endure the things that my father, or I, have gone through.
Rest In Peace, Dad. You waited a very long time for it. :peace:
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The last couple lines say it all. You will be a great father.
 
a senile fungus

a senile fungus

Well-Known Member
My father taught me integrity, honestly, work ethic, and how to make a mojito. He taught me to cook, drive, fix an engine, sew, tie a knot, plant a flower, throw a punch, and take a punch. He taught me to walk away from a fight, how to get someone else to throw the first punch, and how to submit someone without breaking them. He taught me compassion for animals and people, and how to be a human being. He showed me how to treat women as superior, and to try to treat men as equals.

He taught me to barter, and to communicate with others. He taught me to take advantage of the weaknesses of others when necessary, and to not expose my own weaknesses to get taken advantage of. He showed me how people treated him differently because of his accent, how people thought he was stupid because of his lack of command of the English language , when in reality he is a medical doctor with command of 4 other languages, including Spanish, French, Italian, and Portuguese. He taught me how he preferred that people think he's a stupid foreigner, as it gives him the upper hand.

I owe everything I am to that man, for I am nothing but his son.

The best thing that I've ever done is become more like my father. I see myself in him now and I wouldn't have it any other way...
 
mr sunshine

mr sunshine

Well-Known Member
a senile fungus said:
My father taught me integrity, honestly, work ethic, and how to make a mojito. He taught me to cook, drive, fix an engine, sew, tie a knot, plant a flower, throw a punch, and take a punch. He taught me to walk away from a fight, how to get someone else to throw the first punch, and how to submit someone without breaking them. He taught me compassion for animals and people, and how to be a human being. He showed me how to treat women as superior, and to try to treat men as equals.

He taught me to barter, and to communicate with others. He taught me to take advantage of the weaknesses of others when necessary, and to not expose my own weaknesses to get taken advantage of. He showed me how people treated him differently because of his accent, how people thought he was stupid because of his lack of command of the English language , when in reality he is a medical doctor with command of 4 other languages, including Spanish, French, Italian, and Portuguese. He taught me how he preferred that people think he's a stupid foreigner, as it gives him the upper hand.

I owe everything I am to that man, for I am nothing but his son.

The best thing that I've ever done is become more like my father. I see myself in him now and I wouldn't have it any other way...
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What's your dad's advice on getting someone else to throw the first punch?
 
bu$hleaguer

bu$hleaguer

Well-Known Member
Yawn. Haven't read any of the shit in the thread before this, because it didn't have my favorite subject in it: shit.
 
abe supercro

abe supercro

Well-Known Member
When my dad wld get wasted he'd crash his motorcycle and be all bloody and broken for periods. He did a lot of f'ed up shit drunk... So did I. He's sobered up ages ago (so have I) and we've become better acquainted. I love him, but he cld have contributed a hell of a lot more in my childhood. I'm grateful to have him around still, especially as mom's gone.
 
a senile fungus

a senile fungus

Well-Known Member
mr sunshine said:
Lol I used to have to wait to get hit first...now I rather not get hit first..
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Well of course you can initiate aggression, but for legal purposes sometimes it behooves you to have been attacked first. Specifically when witnesses are involved. And just because someone else throws the first punch doesn't mean that its gotta connect with you ;-)

Hookabelly said:
That's what I was gonna ask. LOL. While you're just waiting for it, can you mouth off? That would expedite matters IMO.


PS Senile, your dad sounds like the dad we all wish we had. Did he treat you mom like a queen?
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Mouthing off, of course! An angry person makes bad judgment calls, take advantage of that when you can... My father was a big advocate of letting people dig themselves into their own holes. He always wanted me aware of the ground that I stand on.

And yes, my mother is still his queen. They are happily married for 32 years, and still very much in love. They hold hands still :-)
 
Silly String

Silly String

Well-Known Member
My dad died suddenly (heart attack) right before my 15th birthday, so it's difficult to glean the big life lessons I learned from him. I've always felt somewhat empty and cheated with the parent thing (my mom, and my older brother both "checked out" from emotional anything after he died). It took me a long time, and a lot of relationships, to get past my "daddy issues".

But he taught me Algebra, and then gin rummy after homework was done -- I'm still almost unbeatable at gin.
He taught me how to roast a marshmallow "correctly", and how to make the best s'more.
I learned how to love hiking in the Sierra Nevada mountains, and how to appreciate the solitude and beauty of being far away, surrounded by granite and sky. I love pointing out the different flowers and critters to my son (who is completely disinterested) that my dad showed me.
I think I got my sense of fun from my dad -- he was always spazzy and silly like me, and I got cut a lot of slack when I was being *busy* (aka hyper) b/c he was the same.

The biggest thing I learned, from his death, and the subsequent breakdown of the family, was that I can get through ANYTHING. I will not only be "ok", I'll be great. I've got crazy empathy for others, but also a scary, practical ("hard") streak. It's gotten me and my family, thru a lot of stuff.

I didn't get the self sufficiency thing directly from my dad, he was the catalyst, but it's not a bad legacy, even indirectly. I'll probably pass that on to my son. And the marshmallow/s'more thing. :-)
 
Silky Shagsalot

Silky Shagsalot

Well-Known Member
a lot of these posts, i didn't read. they start out, for the most part defending. if you're older than say 40-50, then most likely your dad wasn't worth praise. of course, there are a great deal of great fathers. but i'd wager the lions share aren't good at all, if you asked their kids.
 
thump easy

thump easy

Well-Known Member
never let anyone through the first punch thats a disadvantage dont you know thier are some trained mother fuckers out thier that all it takes is one hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he should have tought you duck and move or slip and punch or fuck it, if its on it ONNN no need to partake in the chit chat and wait for the sucker punch just do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its always better that way even the right people loose sometime because of honor or the right thing to do was the most not so good thing to do specialy if it leeds to a supper ass woopen believe me i woken up in my own blood thinking fuck i should have handle that with the first punch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
ChingOwn

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
I had the kind of father who wanted to mold me into what he wanted instead of letting me be who I am it has brought me down most of my life always trying to be what he wanted now he has brain cancer.

You ever been in a situation where you know you are supposed to be sad but you just aren't and then you feel bad about not really being that sad? Thats how i feel about my dad. He taught me that I have the choice to live myself or my kids and unlike him I live for them who knows if it will be worth it in the end cause kids grow up and form their own opinions but at least maybe I feel better about myself. hmmm is that selfish? fuck life is hard to figure out.
 
a senile fungus

a senile fungus

Well-Known Member
thump easy said:
never let anyone through the first punch thats a disadvantage dont you know thier are some trained mother fuckers out thier that all it takes is one hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he should have tought you duck and move or slip and punch or fuck it, if its on it ONNN no need to partake in the chit chat and wait for the sucker punch just do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its always better that way even the right people loose sometime because of honor or the right thing to do was the most not so good thing to do specialy if it leeds to a supper ass woopen believe me i woken up in my own blood thinking fuck i should have handle that with the first punch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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You're acting like he taught me to get punched in the face for honor.

He taught me to let others incriminate themselves so that I don't have the burden of initiation of force on myself.

Also, trained mother fuckers don't typically lose their cool, which is what I'm banking on. If we're gonna fight and you're keeping your cool just like me than we both recognize a respectable opponent in the other. If you lose your cool then I already won the fight before I trick you into throwing a punch and getting yourself off balance.


Most importantly, my father taught me to avoid this type of conflict at all costs, but if it arises to extinguish it as quickly as possible.
 
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