fuck stories( you girls can join in too)

donnieosmond said:
The first story I have is when I was 17 I had my gf at the time give me road head on the way to our homecoming and when we got there we devised a sinister plan. My friend was there and I told her to go make out with him and I stood next to them and watched. At first he was very resistant as he looked over at me and I started to laugh so he kinda raised his eyebrows and started making out with her for a second. Well the funny thing was, I had drank some orange juice earlier and he told her it tasted like orange juice. Now of course, I hadn't made out with her because well... she was giving me road head. Now how did he get that taste in his mouth? You be the judge. We all had a good laugh afterwards.... well, not him.
Click to expand...

:mrgreen: Fuct up.
 
Oh and I fucked a girl once in the grocery store parking lot on the hood of her car at 3 pm in the middle of the day. Boy did we get some weird looks.
 
I had been dating a chick for a few weeks, and we were down in her basement drinking and playing pool. I wasn't really into her that much, so when she started getting drunk, and wanting to fuck, I just kept pushing it off. Eventually, I had to give in though. We stripped down naked, and I grab her and bend her over the pool table. I really didn't want to fuck her, so I look over my shoulder, and I see a pool cue. So I proceeded to fuck her with the pool cue for what felt like a few minutes, I was laughing my ass of the entire time, and I guess I must've stuck it in a little do deep. She was just like, "What the....", turns her head around and sees 7" of pool cue stuffed up her pussy. Haha, I think I broke up with her the next night. Hahaha.
 
justin2937 said:
I had been dating a chick for a few weeks, and we were down in her basement drinking and playing pool. I wasn't really into her that much, so when she started getting drunk, and wanting to fuck, I just kept pushing it off. Eventually, I had to give in though. We stripped down naked, and I grab her and bend her over the pool table. I really didn't want to fuck her, so I look over my shoulder, and I see a pool cue. So I proceeded to fuck her with the pool cue for what felt like a few minutes, I was laughing my ass of the entire time, and I guess I must've stuck it in a little do deep. She was just like, "What the....", turns her head around and sees 7" of pool cue stuffed up her pussy. Haha, I think I broke up with her the next night. Hahaha.
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you made it to the next night before breaking it off with her? im surprised she didnt do it right there. lol
 
justin2937 said:
I had been dating a chick for a few weeks, and we were down in her basement drinking and playing pool. I wasn't really into her that much, so when she started getting drunk, and wanting to fuck, I just kept pushing it off. Eventually, I had to give in though. We stripped down naked, and I grab her and bend her over the pool table. I really didn't want to fuck her, so I look over my shoulder, and I see a pool cue. So I proceeded to fuck her with the pool cue for what felt like a few minutes, I was laughing my ass of the entire time, and I guess I must've stuck it in a little do deep. She was just like, "What the....", turns her head around and sees 7" of pool cue stuffed up her pussy. Haha, I think I broke up with her the next night. Hahaha.
Click to expand...

he must have got that one from a movie
 
when i was younger i was fucking a girl on my dads sofa, i herd a noise looked back 2 mins later after... and my gradmother had been stood there for 5 mins. soooo funny, my gran was just smileing. the girls face and my grans. i just put a pillow over my ? and run off upstairs. we giggle about it now.
 
As if she didn't know that was in her, lol. If that was me, you would have gotten a punch so hard in the balls, you would be crying for days, lol. You should always be honest, why fuck her if you don't like her? That I will never understand I guess, lol. :mrgreen::peace:

justin2937 said:
I had been dating a chick for a few weeks, and we were down in her basement drinking and playing pool. I wasn't really into her that much, so when she started getting drunk, and wanting to fuck, I just kept pushing it off. Eventually, I had to give in though. We stripped down naked, and I grab her and bend her over the pool table. I really didn't want to fuck her, so I look over my shoulder, and I see a pool cue. So I proceeded to fuck her with the pool cue for what felt like a few minutes, I was laughing my ass of the entire time, and I guess I must've stuck it in a little do deep. She was just like, "What the....", turns her head around and sees 7" of pool cue stuffed up her pussy. Haha, I think I broke up with her the next night. Hahaha.
Click to expand...
 
Rocketgirl said:
Okay, fine... but you guys will never look at me the same.....
I was really burnt and hungover, and I puked on my man during a blowjob.
SOOOOO embarrassing..... and sad for him....
I told ya it was gnarly....
Im sure Ive got more....Lemme think....
Click to expand...

I guess you know that pot is great for supressing the gag reflex. :) Great story!!
 
justin2937 said:
I had been dating a chick for a few weeks, and we were down in her basement drinking and playing pool. I wasn't really into her that much, so when she started getting drunk, and wanting to fuck, I just kept pushing it off. Eventually, I had to give in though. We stripped down naked, and I grab her and bend her over the pool table. I really didn't want to fuck her, so I look over my shoulder, and I see a pool cue. So I proceeded to fuck her with the pool cue for what felt like a few minutes, I was laughing my ass of the entire time, and I guess I must've stuck it in a little do deep. She was just like, "What the....", turns her head around and sees 7" of pool cue stuffed up her pussy. Haha, I think I broke up with her the next night. Hahaha.
Click to expand...

Technically speaking all he did was give her the "wood". Nothing wrong with that.:mrgreen:
 
Wh00p said:
Its cramped as fuck in my car, so we fucked on the hood(pulled out a blanket cause it was a little over heated)

God i love the country..
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x2 haha I fondly recall that as being one of my favorite times...
Anyways same girl later that year we were flying to cancun for a week at an all-inclusive resort. Well, on the jet we both started to feel frisky, and wanted to mess around. But there was to many ppl on the plane to join the mile high club....But we couldn't keep our hands off each other. So I got one of those airline blankets and lay it over my lap, and got probably the best head over, at 37,000 feet! :mrgreen:

Lounge: There is another story about a girl on a plane coming back from Italy but thats for another time...
 
I guess I'll post this here just in case any one missed it in the vicious hand job thread. Cuz it was my crowning achievement that I am very proud of.

Yeah well I was on a blind date once with this chick who actually ended up being dope. Things were going great. We were really hitting it off. So after dinner we went for a ride to this little spot in the woods with a great view of the lake. We pulled over and she started going down on me. Guess what the Mexican food we had just eaten before starts to disagree. You know were Im going with this dontcha. I start getting a really awful case of the bubbly stomach. I'm hoping she's not hearing the shit thrashing around in my belly. I'm so close to shitting my pant I tell the girl I have to take a piss in order for me to cum. So I get out the car and run into the woods. Pull down my pants squat and take a shit right there. I was in such a rush that I ended up shitting right into my underwear. It fell from my ass directly into my pants. Okay so now I'm screwed cuz I was gonna use my undies to wipe my ass. SO what do I do. Next best thing I use my socks. I clean up as best I can with as little as I had. Get back in the car and let her finish what she started. I was so paranoid she was gonna smell shit but she never said a word. Funny thing is I actually ended up dating her for about year after that. She still has no clue. Or maybe she did know but just didn't care?
 
hahaha, dude that is fucking hilarious. I have had some blowjobs when having swampass before, kinda felt bad. Those girls are champs though.
 
Teens, for the love of God, if you're the experimental type (as I, fortunately and unfortunately were), make sure that you understand that the phrase "the safety word is...", especially when being handcuffed by an attractive but INSANE girl, usually comes right before A LOT OF PAIN.
You can discover that you have quite a lot of tolerance, but as soon as the cat o' nine tails or branding iron is brought out, flee.
Masochists: Please stop assuming that we sadists are into the same jazz as YOU.
-----------
That prologue aside...
I was sixteen and had been dating this incredibly attractive (skinny, petite, extremely cute face) COOCOO FOR COCOPUFFS girl for about a couple of weeks, when she decides to kick things up a notch. Before that fateful night, our sexual escapades usually consisted of lots of biting, choking, scratching, hair pulling, hitting, handcuffs, soft-leather horsewhips, etc.
Well, that night she asked me, off of our experiences, if I was really into S&M. I told her I really didn't know, but I was starting to like bits and pieces of it.
In hindsight, I probably should've told her I was liking the S part a HELL of a lot better than the M.
After some foreplay, she used a different brand of handcuffs (later I came to find out that "different" meant cold, hard, and REAL) than normal and cuffed me to these shackle hooks. To this day, I despise her liberal parents for those fucking hoooks.
Given the prologue, I'm sure you can fill in the rest of the details.


[Point of interest: I've actually grown to like my happy face ass-brand, and the fiancee just finds it downright hilarious]
 
Ok, so back in high school I was going out with this girl who was fucking cute as hell but was still a little inexperienced. She snuck over to my house and we started making out and stripping each other down. Then out of no where she decides to go down on me. I'm wondering what the fuck just happened because we were making out and literally half a second later her lips were firmly wrapped around my meat. As soon as I figure out that she's blowing me I relax and enjoy it for all of maybe 15 seconds before shit got out of hand... I went from relaxed to horrifically in pain at about the 16 second mark of what she tells me is her first time giving someone head. I believed her too because for fuck's sake she was grinding on my pole with her teeth like someone was trying to skin a fucking carrot with there teeth. All I remember was telling her, "It's ok, I'll finish myself off from here." I don't think we ever talked again after that night. It hurt SO bad though. Like seriously, the next week or two, if my dick rubbed against my pants the wrong way I'd scream in pain. That's how bad she was at sucking dick. Ugh... I hated high school...
 
Reprogammed said:
Teens, for the love of God, if you're the experimental type (as I, fortunately and unfortunately were), make sure that you understand that the phrase "the safety word is...", especially when being handcuffed by an attractive but INSANE girl, usually comes right before A LOT OF PAIN.
You can discover that you have quite a lot of tolerance, but as soon as the cat o' nine tails or branding iron is brought out, flee.
Masochists: Please stop assuming that we sadists are into the same jazz as YOU.
-----------
That prologue aside...
I was sixteen and had been dating this incredibly attractive (skinny, petite, extremely cute face) COOCOO FOR COCOPUFFS girl for about a couple of weeks, when she decides to kick things up a notch. Before that fateful night, our sexual escapades usually consisted of lots of biting, choking, scratching, hair pulling, hitting, handcuffs, soft-leather horsewhips, etc.
Well, that night she asked me, off of our experiences, if I was really into S&M. I told her I really didn't know, but I was starting to like bits and pieces of it.
In hindsight, I probably should've told her I was liking the S part a HELL of a lot better than the M.
After some foreplay, she used a different brand of handcuffs (later I came to find out that "different" meant cold, hard, and REAL) than normal and cuffed me to these shackle hooks. To this day, I despise her liberal parents for those fucking hoooks.
Given the prologue, I'm sure you can fill in the rest of the details.


[Point of interest: I've actually grown to like my happy face ass-brand, and the fiancee just finds it downright hilarious]
Click to expand...
Holy fuck. Thank GOD I haven't come across that type yet. All though another girl I dated in high school wrote me a letter about how she wanted to slit her throat while deep throating me... :spew:No need to go in detail of that event, but it ended up in her going to an asylum and then moving out of state... Like I said in my other post... I hated high school...
 
Masochists: Please stop assuming that we sadists are into the same jazz as YOU.

[Point of interest: I've actually grown to like my happy face ass-brand, and the fiancee just finds it downright hilarious][/quote]

gee i thought i was the only one who felt that way about the first part. lol

but yeah ive ended up with a few tattoos and other things of the such that my wife finds kinda amusing too.
 
it seems like most of these stories started out "when I was a teenager" or "when I was in high school" surely someone has been caught fucking your bosses wife or been caught fucking by your wife/girlfriend...:mrgreen:
 
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