Great Stoner Quotes

SEF

Well-Known Member
A few years back when me and my bro started smokin' weed together he made up this little rhyme:

Balls are a penis too,
just cut in half,
without the Shroo!
 

Hairy Bob

Well-Known Member
Far too many times I've rolled up, put the joint behind my ear while I go get food, come back, sit down and roll another. Once I did it twice and ended up with one behind either ear and a fresh rolled one in front of me. I usually only notice when it falls out/I scratch my head.
I'ts good finding joints you forgot about, but makes me think I should smoke less. Especially after chain-smoking 3 doobies!
 

Baz

Well-Known Member
Far too many times I've rolled up, put the joint behind my ear while I go get food, come back, sit down and roll another. Once I did it twice and ended up with one behind either ear and a fresh rolled one in front of me. I usually only notice when it falls out/I scratch my head.
I'ts good finding joints you forgot about, but makes me think I should smoke less. Especially after chain-smoking 3 doobies!
Lmao

Always good to find unexpected ear trasure huh :mrgreen:
 

HoppusTheCaveman

Well-Known Member
here's a couple conversations I had with my firends last night....sorry the first one is REALLLY long. I just copy and pasted.

#1
Friend: the shit poeple come up with these days..
Me: like dick in a box
Friend: hayeah?
Me: who would've known a thousand years ago, that such a concept would be funny!?!?
Friend: i know for serious!
Me: yeah!! it would sound absurd in those days!! the day's of 1008!!
Friend: hahah definetly
Me: you know what they were doing? building fucking boats, that take 5 years to make!! because they don't have technology like we do!! of course they couldn't think about that shit you know why? they had most of their time on making that god damned boat!! and then after the day was done, they'd think about how good they did making that fucking boat. that piece of shit boat. and then they slept and when they woke up they went!! breakfast...THEN THE FUCKING BOAT!! then the times changed
Friend: hahahhaha
Me: we were thinking more and more to think less!! and you know what!?!?! WE SUCCEEDED TO WELL!! and now I have fucking nostradamus and shit making fun of me. you know, fucking nostradamus, he didn't think of no boats. he just thought, and thought, and thought, and THOUGHT SOME MORE!! not about a boat, but everything, and he fucking predicted shit. he fucking...he was this, and he was that. that's what he was. and ALBERT EINSTEIN!! he didn't cease to think. he had the technology to not think, but that wasn;t good enough for him!!! so he thought some more, and now look at his dead, wasted, useless body in the ground, six feet under. but he was a geniuss!! from Germany!! I think...yeah, GERMANY!!!!!!!!!! that's where they come from man,you hyad Hitler who was a nut bar and a half, then fucking Einstein!! but they used their thoughts for different reasons
Friend: that's true
Me: Einstein was for the betterment. Hitler...of mand kind*
Friend: worserment!
Me: Hitler, he was the anti man. he thougth of this crazy shit man!! for the betterment of his kinda mankind, but not for everyone else. he was in his own little fucking world there man. he didn't know what the fuck was going on outside him. he was a crazy man man. he was a bit cuckoo. insane in the membrane you know what I'm saying?
Friend: i do ido. nowyou neeed to relaxmatt! that was amazing, but still...
Me: what do you mean by amazing man?
Friend: you just typedall that crazy shit! haha. fuckinnnnn....rediculous
Me: did it make sense!? is it something that if i rad it in the morning, I won't be all like "AWW WHAT THE FUCK!?" or willl it be like "...I fucking wrote that shit man!"
Friend: hahah. ye thesecond one
Me: ..yesssssssss
Friend: are you high or some shit man??
Me: extremely

#2
Friend: yea..thought you were high as hell
Me: dude, hell is low man. I'm fucking...I'm fucking high as shit
Friend: High as heaven
Me: because when shit is floating in the toilet, it's at the top of the toilet as opposed to the bottom. so right now, I'm high as shit

#3
Me: I'm back up and it feels like my left (your right) eye is melting
Friend: Nice. what if were facing the same direction tho?
Me: then it would be your left too man. but you wouldn't be able to see it so you look at me from straight on, then it would turn into your right
Friend: ..yea..i would
Me: but!! if you were starting into a mirror
Friend: weill..i dont start at mirrors
Me: it would be your left and my right. or wait....no I fucked that up. brb
Friend: kk
Me: ok, if we were looking into a mirror, it would be my left and your left. except you would be able to see it not. now*
Friend: ...i dont like mirrors..i have a phoabic phobia

 

Baz

Well-Known Member
here's a couple conversations I had with my firends last night....sorry the first one is REALLLY long. I just copy and pasted.

#1
Friend: the shit poeple come up with these days..
Me: like dick in a box
Friend: hayeah?
Me: who would've known a thousand years ago, that such a concept would be funny!?!?
Friend: i know for serious!
Me: yeah!! it would sound absurd in those days!! the day's of 1008!!
Friend: hahah definetly
Me: you know what they were doing? building fucking boats, that take 5 years to make!! because they don't have technology like we do!! of course they couldn't think about that shit you know why? they had most of their time on making that god damned boat!! and then after the day was done, they'd think about how good they did making that fucking boat. that piece of shit boat. and then they slept and when they woke up they went!! breakfast...THEN THE FUCKING BOAT!! then the times changed
Friend: hahahhaha
Me: we were thinking more and more to think less!! and you know what!?!?! WE SUCCEEDED TO WELL!! and now I have fucking nostradamus and shit making fun of me. you know, fucking nostradamus, he didn't think of no boats. he just thought, and thought, and thought, and THOUGHT SOME MORE!! not about a boat, but everything, and he fucking predicted shit. he fucking...he was this, and he was that. that's what he was. and ALBERT EINSTEIN!! he didn't cease to think. he had the technology to not think, but that wasn;t good enough for him!!! so he thought some more, and now look at his dead, wasted, useless body in the ground, six feet under. but he was a geniuss!! from Germany!! I think...yeah, GERMANY!!!!!!!!!! that's where they come from man,you hyad Hitler who was a nut bar and a half, then fucking Einstein!! but they used their thoughts for different reasons
Friend: that's true
Me: Einstein was for the betterment. Hitler...of mand kind*
Friend: worserment!
Me: Hitler, he was the anti man. he thougth of this crazy shit man!! for the betterment of his kinda mankind, but not for everyone else. he was in his own little fucking world there man. he didn't know what the fuck was going on outside him. he was a crazy man man. he was a bit cuckoo. insane in the membrane you know what I'm saying?
Friend: i do ido. nowyou neeed to relaxmatt! that was amazing, but still...
Me: what do you mean by amazing man?
Friend: you just typedall that crazy shit! haha. fuckinnnnn....rediculous
Me: did it make sense!? is it something that if i rad it in the morning, I won't be all like "AWW WHAT THE FUCK!?" or willl it be like "...I fucking wrote that shit man!"
Friend: hahah. ye thesecond one
Me: ..yesssssssss
Friend: are you high or some shit man??
Me: extremely

#2
Friend: yea..thought you were high as hell
Me: dude, hell is low man. I'm fucking...I'm fucking high as shit
Friend: High as heaven
Me: because when shit is floating in the toilet, it's at the top of the toilet as opposed to the bottom. so right now, I'm high as shit

#3
Me: I'm back up and it feels like my left (your right) eye is melting
Friend: Nice. what if were facing the same direction tho?
Me: then it would be your left too man. but you wouldn't be able to see it so you look at me from straight on, then it would turn into your right
Friend: ..yea..i would
Me: but!! if you were starting into a mirror
Friend: weill..i dont start at mirrors
Me: it would be your left and my right. or wait....no I fucked that up. brb
Friend: kk
Me: ok, if we were looking into a mirror, it would be my left and your left. except you would be able to see it not. now*
Friend: ...i dont like mirrors..i have a phoabic phobia

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha... WTF were you on dude lmfao!
 

FeRiZaJLI

Well-Known Member
Anyone ever had the situation where no one has a lighter and yet everyone started with one.....and after 10 minutes of searching someone ends up having six in their pockets?

alllll the fuckin time dude agagagagaahahhahahagghaghaghaghaghaaghahg

i hate that shit u ask for a light cuz the blunt went out everyone is high out there minds and they all look at you like ur stupid
 

nirvanaphreak24

Well-Known Member
"oh theres going to be more violence, i hate violence you gotta go in there and beat em up!"

+rep to whoever can figure out what movie its from :-D
 
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