Hey Lar Dawg and everyone else. Nice to be thought of, truly. I was in jail from September 11-March 17. My legal woes ratcheted up in a big way. I got in some significant trouble in September. I’ve been like that ol dog that sits at the edge of his yard and with great passion chases every car that goes by. Except it’s a dragon that I’ve been chasing for the past 12 years. It was Methadone 10mg...ers back in 2008 that put the chase in me. That quickly went to OxyContin and after 3 years of servitude to the opies I got off of them. Made it about half a year until I was living in NOLA bringing home a couple grand a week. Homesick and worn the fuck out with plenty of cash in NOLA I got on the fuckin rig and had H delivered to my house every Thursday. Work on the Hughey P Long during the day and nod out on my couch at night. That lasted most of 2 years. I came out of NOLA and went to the Hoan Bridge in Milwaukee and got off the shit until late summer of 2017. I was pretty bad off from then until September 11th. I had blue lip ODs approximately 8 times from February 2018-July 2019. I made the switch to Fentanyl early in 2019 and well there’s a lot of bodies on ol Frank. My fiancé was able to bring me out of everyone. She od a couple of times in that span. She thought I was going to die on her last June. She hit me with Narcan and beat my face till it was black and blue trying to revive me. She left me and went to rehab at the end of July. A year long rehab of which she is still at. I would make however many trips to St. Louis a week that I had to. At the end of it I was doing 1/4 g shots of the best Franky in the Lou. Like Axle said, “I used to do a little but the little wouldn’t do it so the little got more and more, just keep trying to get a little better I say a little better than before “. I would say much more than a tenth of the doses I was doing at the end would kill me deader than disco now having no tolerance. Like my old man says if you’re a cat you’re a special one who was granted more than the usual 9 lives. After Jess left I had an exponential amount of pain that I buried in bigger and bigger shots. She would flip out if she seen me use a full cap. 1.5 months after she left I was doing 3.5 caps a pop. I was ready to be arrested and new it was coming. Not because I was dealing it but the 3 hr trips to the Lou 3-4 x a week, nodding out in gas station parking lots in my truck, etc. I was up in Decatur, Illinois getting heroin in the summer of 2018. Got some laced with a heavy dose of Franky in it. We stopped at a gas station for Jess to use the bathroom. I promised her I would wait until we got home. Long story short i ended up trying it out in the bathroom and knew I was fucked soon as hit my bloodstream. I wake up to Jess hitting me and screaming as I laid sprawled out on the floor. She had been beating on the door for a couple of minutes and the manager finally unlocked the door. I had another bathroom floor flopout at a gas station closer to home early in 2019. Servitude to the dragon often ends with death for a lot of people. I don’t mean to come off as an arrogant idiot but I am protected from on high. A week before I was arrested I was in contact with a long term rehab but couldn’t find it in my heart to commit. Being arrested was the proverbial blessing in disguise although it wasn’t disguised from me. I was at a local Walmart late in the evening on September 10th after getting back from a run to the Lou. Was there to get dog food. Of course I decided to dose up first. Next thing I know someone is tapping on my window hollering at me. A local county cop whom I am acquainted with. I told him I had just got done driving back from a job site in Des Moines, Iowa and was just catching a quick nap. He left and I went shopping. I was pretty certain soon as I pulled out the parking lot I would get pulled over. I thought about hiding my shit inside Walmart and coming back the next day to retrieve it. But subconsciously I just wanted it to be over with. I did call a friend to come to Walmart to drive me home. I didn’t want my driver’s license to get yanked for a dui. We got about a 100 yards out of the parking lot and two of them lit us up. It was bitter sweet but I was truly relieved.... Until I found out how serious of a charge I would be getting. I had 5.2 grams of Frank (3days worth with my habit). 1 or less is a class 4 / 1-3 years. 1-15 grams is a class 1/ 4-16 years. The ol intent to deliver weight threshold got me good. The cop actually apologized to me. They know around here who does what and I’m infamous for growing and selling weed off and on since the early 90s. I’m not a slinger of the chemical bad boys. Not to say I have never hooked various people up with blow or worse but not as a means of paying for a habit or stacking coin. Not being self righteous, just always shyed away from being that guy. Of course they asked me where I was getting my Fent and instead of telling them to fuck off I told them “from the brothers across the river “. Which is the same thing as telling them to fuck off but kinder and gentler lol. That little admission got me a drug trafficking charge to go along with my other charge. But it’s just a class 3 / 2-5 years. So I’m sitting in jail hoping they don’t bury me in the Joint. I had a $150,000 bond which means I needed $15,000 cash to walk. I needed to set a while no matter what was going to happen or I would probably have been back on it. So I’m telling the lawyer to try and get the class 1 dropped and the 3 and I would gladly take 3 years on the class 4. The trafficking charge requires serving 75% of your sentence. Mid December I was told we would probably get a deal I would like. I had court January 14th and was expecting a possible plea. My lawyer talked to me before court and said the State’s Attorney wanted me to do drug court, again. I did it a few years back after getting popped with 4 elbows of smoke and facing 3-7 years. I did great with drug court and got to know the state’s attorney while I was on it. The guy would tell me i was his drug court rock star and how much he appreciated me making the most of it and helping other people out in the program, etc. Apparently I made quite an impression on him because I should be headed to the joint by all accounts. Keep in mind that the legal problems I had mentioned last year was a class 3 possession charge in a neighboring county. It was the county that my home county did drug court through. I was fully expecting to go away on that one but they thought a lot of me over there from my time on drug court and was hopeful that I would get back on track and stay clean. I got probation for two years and plead out in May of last year. So I’m facing time from two counties but they would run it concurrently so not a terribly big deal. The state’s attorney here put in a word at the other county to get on board and they did. So ya, I’ve burned up a lifetime of second chances in a short amount of time. In early March I got told that drug court had almost no room for new people and thet they thought it would be better to get me into TASC probation. Which I’m happy about because there’s a lot less to do. Not that I wasn’t happy to be doing drug court again rather than the alternative. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried lol. I was going to make a quick reply and instead I let it all hang out. Needless to say I’m not going to be practicing that craft we all love so much for a while. With 4-16 hanging over my head it’s a no brainer. I kept on growing during drug court but a 7 yr bit was the worse I was going to get. If I drop the ball on this and make the state’s attorney question why he gave me such a chance I shimmer to think at what I would get. I suspect at least 10 years. I was going to be pleading out April 7th and would be in jail still but thanks to the corona virus craze I got let out on an OR bond 3.5 weeks early. Court has been pushed off until June. I’m not out of the woods yet. A judge has to approve the deal. And get this, the sitting judge over here was in the other county last year when I got the possession charge. He said 3 times that day that he was reluctant to approve the deal because of my record. He told me that if I was before him again under similar circumstances he would be inclined to send me to prison. So there’s that lol. But my life was thought up and is playing out to every last detail and I’m down for whatever destiny holds but ya I’m hoping to stay free. Oftentimes I stay mute about many things but if I open up about something I prefer to give a clear picture. Happy growing everyone and I still lurk here and on Instagram cruising for bud porn and more knowledge of the craft.