I don't know what it is but I felt it too. I thought it might be my anxiety. I'm so freaking anxious after waiting like 6 months growing and finally my fingers are all sticky and smelly and I'm both nervous too because I can't shake that I'm a bad person for doing this feeling too! I know I'm not bad but I can't shake it. Society or maybe it was parental disapproval has seriously fucked my mind up.