The secret itself may speak to a deeper issue. But a willingness to talk is a good start.
1 year ago
I was what most people would call successful. I had the American Dream, the Wife , the Kids, the house, the cars, the boats, the pets etc .
The Wife was about to leave me had been for years she should have I wouldnt have blamed her.
The Kids, hardly ever saw them when I did they were secondary I was always working (or worrying about work).
The House never saw it at that time it really was nothing but a burden.
The cars I shouldnt have been allowed one, I drove more times drunk than I care to think about, thank god nothing ever happened.
The Boats I dont even like boats they were just a status symbol of what I supposed to be.
I was a work-a-holic, I accomplished no more than I do now I just spent a lot more time worrying about.
I was an alcoholic, getting drunk twice a day was not unusual. Drinking does not bring out better side of me. And the daily beating from all the booze was really taking a toll on my health I was 300 pounds of stress. The only question was what would kill me first the heart attack or the stroke.
Present Day
I truly have the American dream now. Same Wife, same Kids, Same house, actually turns out I may not like Boats but I do Like old Porsche sports cars. I have lost 50 Pounds so far, I smoke pot on a regular basis and I do not intend to stop. Pot has given me a the life I always wanted and had all along I was just too busy to notice. I have not had a drink in I am not sure how long it has to be 3 or 4 months, truth is I dont think about it anymore and I think that is what it takes to truly leave it behind.
The Wife
I love my wife again, the last few years we have most certainly been growing apart, lately I feel like she is even reciprocating that love (now I just have to find a way to tell her my secret). My wife is a bit of a fuddy duddy, while I have been a hardcore shit out your liver drinker for the last 20 years I have never seen my wife intoxicated.
More on my wife.
I used to call her Saint Her First Name she hated that but it really is true. I have never known her to tell even a partial truth, she does not drink; she is in general just a good person. She is smart and capable. She is the mother of children and I love her.
She suffers from frequent headaches and general fatigue. She takes very very good care of herself and should be in excellent health but she seems to only at best ever feel fine.
One of her re-occurring ailments is some joint swelling in her hands. I made some special message oil form the tailings off my vaporizer; these seem to really help her.
The Problem
My wife has no idea that I smoke, I know everyone is going to say how could she not tell?. Lets just say after walking around blasted drunk for years being a little stoned is a cake walk, I honestly dont think she can tell. If anything she has seen nothing but massive improvements in our home life. To make matters even worse sort of. I am also growing. This is no small thing, you see I never do anything small and my little growing operation is not your typical home setup. I should really share what I have done here with all of you since I learned most of the concepts from other members of this site. Maybe after I sort out this life experience I can share that portion of the journey with you all.
The Fear
With my wife, withholding information is the same as a bold faced lie, having done what I have done for the last year without telling her represents just that. And she is right I have no excuse I should be able to trust her with this. On the outside disclosure of this information could have consequences up to the ending of my marriage. I dont think she would leave me. In fact I hope she will join me once she knows this behind my/our life improvement. Or she could insist that I quit, and honestly I would really hate to do that, I think things would just go back to the way they were. But I would stop if she asked me to.
The Goal
To share all of this with her, I want to her to know it all, I want her to accept it and if at all possible I would love for her to participate. I really think it will help her the way it has helped me.
Random thoughts that got me here
We have been married for 19 years; we were high school sweet hearts who saved it for the wedding night. Actually it was really a couple of days later, it was my birthday as I recall, we never really did this part very well. Now we have 2 kids we were roommates long before the kids. Every once in a while we get just a flash of intimacy I yearn for more. For the first time in a long time I am waiting for her, I fear I have been absent for so long that she stopped noticing.
I want to share all of this with her, I want her to accept it all, I would love it if she choose to participate, I really think it could help her as it has helped me.
The Plan
I am telling her this week. Her sister is going to watch the kids over night. I will take her to a nice dinner then we can go home and talk. Worst case I sleep in my grow room alone. Best case I introduce my wife to her first taste. I dream of an open free flowing high discussion with my wife.
I still have not decided how I am going to tell her. I know it is critical that it not come as a shock (another reason why I think it is so important to come clean). My wife is an opened minded person in general; I fear that what she knows about pot is the stereotypes and propaganda that even myself believed only a short while ago. I know that if I can figure out how to lay all the information out for her she will see it as I do.
1 year ago
I was what most people would call successful. I had the American Dream, the Wife , the Kids, the house, the cars, the boats, the pets etc .
The Wife was about to leave me had been for years she should have I wouldnt have blamed her.
The Kids, hardly ever saw them when I did they were secondary I was always working (or worrying about work).
The House never saw it at that time it really was nothing but a burden.
The cars I shouldnt have been allowed one, I drove more times drunk than I care to think about, thank god nothing ever happened.
The Boats I dont even like boats they were just a status symbol of what I supposed to be.
I was a work-a-holic, I accomplished no more than I do now I just spent a lot more time worrying about.
I was an alcoholic, getting drunk twice a day was not unusual. Drinking does not bring out better side of me. And the daily beating from all the booze was really taking a toll on my health I was 300 pounds of stress. The only question was what would kill me first the heart attack or the stroke.
Present Day
I truly have the American dream now. Same Wife, same Kids, Same house, actually turns out I may not like Boats but I do Like old Porsche sports cars. I have lost 50 Pounds so far, I smoke pot on a regular basis and I do not intend to stop. Pot has given me a the life I always wanted and had all along I was just too busy to notice. I have not had a drink in I am not sure how long it has to be 3 or 4 months, truth is I dont think about it anymore and I think that is what it takes to truly leave it behind.
The Wife
I love my wife again, the last few years we have most certainly been growing apart, lately I feel like she is even reciprocating that love (now I just have to find a way to tell her my secret). My wife is a bit of a fuddy duddy, while I have been a hardcore shit out your liver drinker for the last 20 years I have never seen my wife intoxicated.
More on my wife.
I used to call her Saint Her First Name she hated that but it really is true. I have never known her to tell even a partial truth, she does not drink; she is in general just a good person. She is smart and capable. She is the mother of children and I love her.
She suffers from frequent headaches and general fatigue. She takes very very good care of herself and should be in excellent health but she seems to only at best ever feel fine.
One of her re-occurring ailments is some joint swelling in her hands. I made some special message oil form the tailings off my vaporizer; these seem to really help her.
The Problem
My wife has no idea that I smoke, I know everyone is going to say how could she not tell?. Lets just say after walking around blasted drunk for years being a little stoned is a cake walk, I honestly dont think she can tell. If anything she has seen nothing but massive improvements in our home life. To make matters even worse sort of. I am also growing. This is no small thing, you see I never do anything small and my little growing operation is not your typical home setup. I should really share what I have done here with all of you since I learned most of the concepts from other members of this site. Maybe after I sort out this life experience I can share that portion of the journey with you all.
The Fear
With my wife, withholding information is the same as a bold faced lie, having done what I have done for the last year without telling her represents just that. And she is right I have no excuse I should be able to trust her with this. On the outside disclosure of this information could have consequences up to the ending of my marriage. I dont think she would leave me. In fact I hope she will join me once she knows this behind my/our life improvement. Or she could insist that I quit, and honestly I would really hate to do that, I think things would just go back to the way they were. But I would stop if she asked me to.
The Goal
To share all of this with her, I want to her to know it all, I want her to accept it and if at all possible I would love for her to participate. I really think it will help her the way it has helped me.
Random thoughts that got me here
We have been married for 19 years; we were high school sweet hearts who saved it for the wedding night. Actually it was really a couple of days later, it was my birthday as I recall, we never really did this part very well. Now we have 2 kids we were roommates long before the kids. Every once in a while we get just a flash of intimacy I yearn for more. For the first time in a long time I am waiting for her, I fear I have been absent for so long that she stopped noticing.
I want to share all of this with her, I want her to accept it all, I would love it if she choose to participate, I really think it could help her as it has helped me.
The Plan
I am telling her this week. Her sister is going to watch the kids over night. I will take her to a nice dinner then we can go home and talk. Worst case I sleep in my grow room alone. Best case I introduce my wife to her first taste. I dream of an open free flowing high discussion with my wife.
I still have not decided how I am going to tell her. I know it is critical that it not come as a shock (another reason why I think it is so important to come clean). My wife is an opened minded person in general; I fear that what she knows about pot is the stereotypes and propaganda that even myself believed only a short while ago. I know that if I can figure out how to lay all the information out for her she will see it as I do.
