How Not To Grow Dope
- Thread starter Al B. Fuct
- Start date
Al B. Fuct
once had a dog named
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roseman
You need to add "tell your girlfriend you are growing pot" to the list.
I do believe Roseman was just suggesting another bit of stereotypical stoner silliness to add to my original bit, not suggesting that infosec is one of his own issues.
Originally Posted by Roseman
You need to add "tell your girlfriend you are growing pot" to the list.
I do believe Roseman was just suggesting another bit of stereotypical stoner silliness to add to my original bit, not suggesting that infosec is one of his own issues.
Roseman
Elite Rolling Society
2 weeks ago, someone started a thread here called "I got busted" or something similar to that. He said his girlfriend and him got into a fight, she left pissed, and an hour later,the narcs showed up.
closet.cult
New Member
that's feakin funny. thanks
Purple_Ganja
Well-Known Member
Quote: "2 weeks ago, someone started a thread here called "I got busted" or something similar to that. He said his girlfriend and him got into a fight, she left pissed, and an hour later,the narcs showed up."
This is why you give anyone who knows some of your crop. Not much, but maybe a couple ounces... if that, depending on how much you grow, so shit like this doesn't happen.
This is why you give anyone who knows some of your crop. Not much, but maybe a couple ounces... if that, depending on how much you grow, so shit like this doesn't happen.
Well, I do have to admit that this (somewhat fictionalised) bit was prompted by newbie posts, particularly the ones where the newb has planted their seeds and then gone out looking for information on how to grow. Sort of like getting roaring stoned and then going out looking for the party.
The most frustrating posts to deal with for REALLY experienced forum writers fall into two basic categories:
1) Newbie posts incredibly broad queries like "OK, I want poundage, how do I grow plants? What is soil? Why can't I use halogen motorcycle fog lights to grow poundage?! WHY AREN'T YOU LAZY FUCKIN' BASTARDS ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS, AREN'T YOU HERE TO SERVE ME?!"
2) Newbies who KNOW they are already weed barons, by virtue of reading a 35 year old growbook, who then go on to enthusiastically offer incredibly bad advice to the newer newbies, leaving the whole schlemozzle to be cleaned up by the REALLY knowledgeable crew, only for the really experienced posters to be told by the somewhat-new-newbies that the advice they've just given is TOTALLY WRONG cos it doesn't match what was said in the 35 year old grow book.
Anyone got any spare birth control pills to feminise my plants?
lou? is this you?
babygro
Well-Known Member
So they take their couple of ounces and then turn you in?
Only advice is - tell noone, if you can't do that - don't grow - simple.
BloodShotI'z
Well-Known Member
^^
^^
^^
BloodShotI'z
Well-Known Member
Sorry Im high
GaijinSama
Active Member
Aw, man! I've had my old fridge, Centrum, and Harley lamps set up for weeks now! Just waiting for the seeds to germinate from the Yoohoo bath, and I'll be in business!
*Warning: Dripping Sarcasm, wear a raincoat*
*Warning: Dripping Sarcasm, wear a raincoat*
Toke_The_Smoke
Active Member
I'm very much toasted and feeling alot like a marshmallow but that was comedy genius.
I demand more, if that should fail i beg humbly.
I demand more, if that should fail i beg humbly.
Al B. Fuct
once had a dog named
heh, I was kinda amused when I wrote it.
Sweet bloody jesus- I could have written at least 200 lines of bad growing craziness.
I only stopped at about 25 because I thought the point was made- that point being that commonsense, the things you pick up with your common senses, is not normally sufficient to grow plants of any kind, much less cannabis. One must know some basic general and botanical science and then apply that knowledge to filter out the really trashy information out there.
The biggest conceptual mistake made by newbs is that plants are not V8 engines. Plants don't work better when you jam as much fuel and air as practical into them, as do V8 engines. There's too little, just right and dead.
When the spirit of lampoon moves me again, I'll add more to the 'How Not To Grow Dope' bit.
Toke_The_Smoke
Active Member
I found it all the more amusing because alot, but not all, of those thoughts had run through my head when i first decided to grow.
Thankfully i had some basic botanical knowledge and , but of course, Rollitup which has been a massive help in terms of knowledge and amusement.
Thankfully i had some basic botanical knowledge and , but of course, Rollitup which has been a massive help in terms of knowledge and amusement.
green_nobody
Well-Known Member
i'm so damn blad that i read this when not being totally stond, i would have wee'ed myself then oh my goodness
oh my goodness
Al B. Fuct
once had a dog named
well, that was kinda the point.
Thanks for putting the owl avatar back up. Makes me grin every time I see it.
420skatekr3w
Well-Known Member
dude thats hilarious
