How to Properly Abuse a Plant

This is a testament to the durability of Nirvana genetics more than anything. I've grown several strains and they always turn out well for me. Next up is some TGA Pandora's Box, exciting times!

Bubblelicious and Ice, both put through the ringer.

Vegged under a 250W 20,000K Metal Halide from ebay. It was a cheap model for aquariums and I didn't see the color temp rating anywhere in the description. You think I would have noticed when the insanely blue light turned on for the first time, but no, I didn't.

Used a 50/50 mix of Miracle Grow sphagnum peat moss and perlite. This medium became very acid over the course of several weeks. I got a new tester which was reading the runoff at 3.9. My tap is very stable at 7.8 and after adding nutes, it's perfect. Watered straight with PH down. All of this couldn't keep that medium from going toxic. Bcame worse during the first week of flowering. I didn't know they could even survive that level of acidity.

I inadvertently "topped" the Ice plant by burning all the new growth so badly. (Pics 1-3) Only one out of 2 flowering females made it. The other hermied and was destroyed.

The one feminized bubblelicious took all of this in stride (Pics 4-5). She was no worse for the ware. A few burnt leaves, but nothing major. What a champ!

Flushed them thouroughly during the first week of flowering (400W HPS). They are now going on their 4th week and looks like they will still give a decent return. They seem happy in the soil now. PH is slowly climbing back up, around 5.5. The Ice will be farther behind, but could end up being a great producer because of the multiple tops.

This is a resiliant plant, people. It wants to live if you let it.

not bad at all.....mj plants can take soooo much abuse! its a weed afterall

FlynLow, you are a healer.

I also unintentionally shook the plants very badly. I had some pent up rage from latent, early-childhood shaken baby syndrome in my blood. Like alcohol abuse, violently shaking things is a destructive pattern.

Step#3: Get in vicious yelling matches with a partner of your choice, preferably in the vicinity of the plants. A yelling partner is not always necessary. Crying increases chances of plant stress.

Step #4: MJ plants react badly to fire. You can threaten them into making more bud by burning the tips of their white hairs. Try putting them close to an open flame, then removing them, off and on for about 10 minutes. Crying also helps during this process.

what the FUCK

Hahaha! Maybe the admins will sticky this. Sounds like a technique with promising results haha
im not sayn it wont work but i show plenty love to mine it seems to work for me !

lolololololoollolo this is lols but all ur abuse has still produced sum nice looking bud on ur plants so be hapyyyyyyyyyyy

Step #5: LST should be a process filled with pleasure. Try wearing a black zipper mask when tying down your plants. I play my favorite CD of chainsaw sounds while I'm doing this. You'll notice this round of plants was not tied down, but I did threaten them with it several times.

dude you need some counceling