i got into a fight with my gf over bud..........

petrushka said:

It is hard to tell what is really going on with you and your gf Cannabolic. But from what I read I am getting the feeling that you are making a mistake.

It seems that you are stubbornly suppressing your common sense. You are looking for support here and will find it never mind what you do because you found yourself a community of potheads who are trying to appear cool pretending they don't give a fuck about girls. But in reality nobody here really gives a fuck about you. Your girlfriend probably does though whatever you say here about her.

Forget the forum man! You are just using it to distract yourself from reality, as you do pot. Light up and think! It is your life. Only you can decide. Only you care. Or do you?

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wtf? im not supressing anything but my anger. its not even that she is mad about the bud smoking, i remember last night we got into a heated arguement about how she misses the things her ex used to do. and because of my financial situation, i cant. and she dont want me to have friends because she feels they are competition. and as much as i love her, i would never do that. because they were here way befor her. and no girl would ever make me decide between the 2. i dont even think she is mad about weed at all. she smokes every once and a while, so how can she be against it if she does it herself. man if the girl dont love me for me then fuck her. she dont love me, she dont care about me. and if u went out with her you would see it too.

CanadianCoyote said:

Ahh... women. They're crazy. Love 'em... but they're absolutely batshit insane. I once made the mistake of having an anti-pot girlfriend. I was in constant fear she'd find out I smoked pot and that she'd dump me because of it. We'd see stoners and she'd start going off about how they're all lazy and stupid... and how weed is evil... and all I could think during those times was "Damn, wish I could go join those guys. They seem like they're having fun."... Eventually, I stopped caring and decided that if I had to hide a part of who I was in order to keep her happy... it wasn't worth it. Then again, I've had girlfriends that don't smoke pot but had no problem with the fact that I did... and I've also had girlfriends who smoked as much or more than me and were so crazy I'd dread talking to them sometimes.

Your girl sounds like she needs to make up her mind. And I don't think the weed is what she has issue with... that's just an easy way to cloake her real gripe in an argument that she thinks sounds less pathetic. She can make you the bad guy and not seem selfish... even if what she wants isn't really too selfish. What I'm saying here is it sounds like she'd like you to pay more attention to her... spend more time with her... keep her at the constant center of your attention. That sort of thing. The weed is just a way of making her argument seem more reasonable... because in her head, she knows it's unreasonable to want all the attention all the time.

That's just my theory on that... but it's a game lots of girls play....

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thats exactly it. i think im gunna just live my life for a while befor i get into another serious relationship. and learn from this. and if i see any of thoes traits that i ignored befor im going to nip it in the bud asap

Cannabolic said:

ok, her friends smoke weed and she is mad that all they do is smoke and drink and party. and all she does is go to college and work.

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Sounds like she doesn't like the cliche and inaccurate "stoner lifestyle" and maybe not the bud itself... I dunno, just they way you put it, it seems like that's her deal.

Cannabolic,

you rule and I am wrong again.

I am am not being sarcastic. Actually I wasn't being sarcastic the first time I said that but while then I said "then...", this time I admit my error unconditionally.

This convinced me:

Cannabolic said:

last night we got into a heated arguement about how she misses the things her ex used to do. and because of my financial situation, i cant. and she dont want me to have friends because she feels they are competition. .

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In my (now somewhat humbled) opinion one should always refrain from comparing present partner with an ex. A person who does is stupid, inconsiderate, likely not over the relationship with the ex and not ready for a new one.

Usually I am right about these things but this time I am mainly wrong and I apologize for annoying you.

I stand by my saying that only you really care what's happening to you and that you should be wary of the wise advice of the THC-soaked-brains on a public forum my own obviously included, but I retract the rest of my lengthy sermon.

My condolences and good luck!

putillor said:

wow i def thought i was the only one. i've only been smoking for less than a year and i had my gf of 3 years break up with me over it...yet she was perfectly fine with alcohol. the girl after her WAS cool with weed, even smoked with me twice, and then she decided that weed was bad but alcohol is ok. i have to say thats my only regret for ever smoking, having to deal with the way people look at you for it.

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yeah man I feel ya!

Cannabolic said:

thats exactly it. i think im gunna just live my life for a while befor i get into another serious relationship. and learn from this. and if i see any of thoes traits that i ignored befor im going to nip it in the bud asap

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Good for you! Maybe some Single Time will be good for you. Just go with the flow and good things will happen.

Just nail her one last time reaaaaaaaaaaaallll good!

update: we had a convo the other night, i couldnt post cuz RIU was acting weird. she says that i pushed her away and that im not willing to change. when clearly i have. my family and my friends both said that ive changed. all i used to do is smoke and drink because i wassnt happy. then once me and her got serious, i stopped drinking so much. and i smoked every so often. but she don't see it. idk if she wants me to be like her ex, or she is used to things being a certian way. but 1) it dont mean that i dont love her and 2) were 2 diffrient ppl. of course were gunna do things diffriently. and she says i never treated her like she is special. wtf? i dissed my friends praticly just to be near her. i mean i really dont understand whats going on. and its like what do i do in this situation. do i just fuck the next bitch i see and act like im mad at her? or do i give her her space? honestly because i have changed i dont wanna hurt her feelings or ruin my chances of patching things up. but at the same time i cant keep feeling like this. throwing up, anxiety. its not cool. it feels like im dying almost. idk what to do................................

ahhhhh.... to be 16 again......... *grin*



jk


Seriously though, you should not be presented with the situation in the first place..... If you have to ask, it's just not going to work. Be who you are, change for no one. Everything will fall into place. Your friends will say you changed every time because you spend less time with them and more time with a woman. The woman will say you've changed because they're all fucking batshit in the head and the longer time passes where you're not conforming into what they want you to become the more they get restless and aggitated. You dont get with someone and then say "hey, this person would be great if they would change this this this and this......." it dosent fucking work that way. If she feels she needs to change you then the stupid bitch should not have gotten with you in the first place, no offense. It's not your fault. It happens to many of us. It will continue to happen. That's just how they operate....... Especially when they get stressed over finance and other issues. It falls back onto you because they're too fucking weak to address and deal with their own issues. I'm sure before any of this happened there were probably no financial woes or issues to speak of, amirite? I know I'm right. Lose the baggage. Let her manipulate someone else.

Ultimadem time my friend.......... but seems to me you're falling for the oldest trick in the book and got trapped. Get out while you can, before long even you wont recognize yourself....................

super update: ok this morning I hit her up on aim because her away was like i pushed her away and blah blah. she had to get off the computer so she called me. we argued like cats and dogs. she was like "well do u wanna be with somebody who still has feelings for her ex?" im like na i dont, but i kno thats not the case. and if it is then that means you have been playin me this whole fuckin time. so dont sit here and play the victim, actin like i was the asshole when clearly im not. and she starts crying and she hangs up. i call her back and she dont answer. so im talkin to my boy who is goin through a similar situation and he winds up putting the convo as his away message. she sees it and she says to me "oh you think u and ur friends know everything, your going to reap what you sow" im like wtf did i sow? i didnt do shit to you. and then i hit her back on aim and im like yo wtf is your problem seriously? and she tells me that she thinks that i need to focus more on how to get out of this situation then to worry about a gf. she says that she wants to settle down and have kids and stuff and that im not ready for that. and she wants stability and what not. but the thing is when she met me, i didnt have a job, i was a drop out, i wassnt thinking about school, let alone a career path. now i got a job, i take my ged next month. im enrolling into college. and everyone is like damn kid, u changed alot. and she dont see it. or maybe she does but she is letting her fear run her life. she got mad when i said that she didnt love me this entire time and i was just a puppet on a string. so now either its that she has her little issues which we can work out, or she played me. but i need to really know whats going on so i can either be done with this and move on, or work on it. but she said she wants to talk about it more when she gets home tonight so idk. but based on the next convorsation, that will determine whats gunna happen.

Delusional said:

ahhhhh.... to be 16 again......... *grin*



jk


Seriously though, you should not be presented with the situation in the first place..... If you have to ask, it's just not going to work. Be who you are, change for no one. Everything will fall into place. Your friends will say you changed every time because you spend less time with them and more time with a woman. The woman will say you've changed because they're all fucking batshit in the head and the longer time passes where you're not conforming into what they want you to become the more they get restless and aggitated. You dont get with someone and then say "hey, this person would be great if they would change this this this and this......." it dosent fucking work that way. If she feels she needs to change you then the stupid bitch should not have gotten with you in the first place, no offense. It's not your fault. It happens to many of us. It will continue to happen. That's just how they operate....... Especially when they get stressed over finance and other issues. It falls back onto you because they're too fucking weak to address and deal with their own issues. I'm sure before any of this happened there were probably no financial woes or issues to speak of, amirite? I know I'm right. Lose the baggage. Let her manipulate someone else.

Ultimadem time my friend.......... but seems to me you're falling for the oldest trick in the book and got trapped. Get out while you can, before long even you wont recognize yourself....................

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lol you'd think we were 16 the way things are going. i know what u mean, u make some strong points. but reguardless to how she feels, i love her so therefor i need to have that closure. if it can be fix then ill fix it. if i cant then i can't. but i wanna at least try. she's not like some random bitch that i dated for a couple of weeks........well at least to me she's not, so i cant just do the old hump and dump. i mean i say again, u make some real valid points. im not going to lie or try and contest that ur not. because you do. she has some serious issues when it comes to certian things. but thats somthing that we can work out if we communicate. if not, then hey i tried. and fuck it. and im not going to change myself, i mean she motivates me and what not but im not going to change who i am. she would be long gone befor that happens

Amen to that.

sounds like youve made your plan canna roll the dice man, hope it works out for you

update: tell me how she called me about a couple of weeksa ago, but i was at my friends house in Maryland. i came back a few days ago and we started to talk. yesterday morning she xame over, went out out for coffee, and hung out at my house. we talked for hours. and she told me that it really had nothing to do with weed, its just she couldnt explain her feelings so they came out as if she is against bud. we had more issues than i realized, and one of them is communication. but anyway, i winded up having sex with her and we got back together. idk im kinda holding a grudge for this whole situation. but im trying to get over it. time will tell i guess..................

ahhhhh to be young and a complete fucking idiot.......... memories.

You're not making enough do re me. Your first post said it all.

Dude, you always have options. If all else fails....

Louis541 said:

Dude, you always have options. If all else fails....

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so true........................

Man, I hope it works out for you... but if she's tearing apart other parts of your life to try and get at the issue at hand, SHE is the one that needs to learn to communicate. Girls are weird that way... they're the ones that want open communication but are often worse at it than the guys they're trying to connect with. Being direct and most of all HONEST seems to escape 'em...

Like I said, good luck.

CanadianCoyote said:

Man, I hope it works out for you... but if she's tearing apart other parts of your life to try and get at the issue at hand, SHE is the one that needs to learn to communicate. Girls are weird that way... they're the ones that want open communication but are often worse at it than the guys they're trying to connect with. Being direct and most of all HONEST seems to escape 'em...

Like I said, good luck.

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thanks. im going to take youradvice. i need to tell her that she is the one who needs to communicate with me, because im always straight foward with her, and she is the one harboring feelings.