Gropotkin
Member
I get bent out of shape if I don't have green in my life. I have severe depression and anxiety as well as thoughts of suicide. (Don't worry about me though. I know better.)
I smoke because it makes me into a normal person instead of the typical wreck I have become. So I've been dry for a while, maybe 2... maybe 3... god damn it... 3 weeks. I can't tolerate people or noise when I am without and my frustration levels are through the roof. I mull things over in my dreams sometimes. So the night before last I wasn't surprised to have the dream I had.
I dreamt I had a baggie the whole time I have been dry and just didn't know it. In the dream I found it and became overjoyed and smoked until I felt comfortable doing what normal people do. Then I woke up to find my reality smashed before my lungs. My determination to grow the medicine I need became ever present and I carried on through the day in a rough manner. Then last night, I dreamed I was living in my previous residence and searching in odd places like the bathroom for anything I could find until I did actually find a roach. I think I nearly pissed my dream pants and my real pants. As I began to light the roach my dad found me in the bathroom and became outraged at how I had put the family in danger by keeping anything at the house and how the neighbors were going to find out blah blah blah. Holy fuck it was a drama fest.
Then today I woke up with the strongest stinche of skunk in my nose - like Jerry Garcia and Tommy Chong came inside my nostrils or something. I couldn't shake it for like five minutes... I thought to myself wtf. Then for some reason I got the urge to clean my room since nothing else I had done that morning was productive. I picked up a pair of shorts on my floor in my bedroom and found a baggie of mostly seeds but also containing exactly ONE BOWL. I cataloged the seeds in their own bag and then removed the material and loaded it. (Even if I don't know what I'm smoking/planting I like to keep them seperate so I know what to expect later.)
This morning I had ten thousand problems. This afternoon I had zero.
On top of that I got my hands on enough cash for an o, unbelievably. But everyone is still dry.
I feel taunted and blessed at the same time. Life is weird even when you're an atheist.
Also, hola! My first time sayin high to everyone.
I smoke because it makes me into a normal person instead of the typical wreck I have become. So I've been dry for a while, maybe 2... maybe 3... god damn it... 3 weeks. I can't tolerate people or noise when I am without and my frustration levels are through the roof. I mull things over in my dreams sometimes. So the night before last I wasn't surprised to have the dream I had.
I dreamt I had a baggie the whole time I have been dry and just didn't know it. In the dream I found it and became overjoyed and smoked until I felt comfortable doing what normal people do. Then I woke up to find my reality smashed before my lungs. My determination to grow the medicine I need became ever present and I carried on through the day in a rough manner. Then last night, I dreamed I was living in my previous residence and searching in odd places like the bathroom for anything I could find until I did actually find a roach. I think I nearly pissed my dream pants and my real pants. As I began to light the roach my dad found me in the bathroom and became outraged at how I had put the family in danger by keeping anything at the house and how the neighbors were going to find out blah blah blah. Holy fuck it was a drama fest.
Then today I woke up with the strongest stinche of skunk in my nose - like Jerry Garcia and Tommy Chong came inside my nostrils or something. I couldn't shake it for like five minutes... I thought to myself wtf. Then for some reason I got the urge to clean my room since nothing else I had done that morning was productive. I picked up a pair of shorts on my floor in my bedroom and found a baggie of mostly seeds but also containing exactly ONE BOWL. I cataloged the seeds in their own bag and then removed the material and loaded it. (Even if I don't know what I'm smoking/planting I like to keep them seperate so I know what to expect later.)
This morning I had ten thousand problems. This afternoon I had zero.
On top of that I got my hands on enough cash for an o, unbelievably. But everyone is still dry.
I feel taunted and blessed at the same time. Life is weird even when you're an atheist.
Also, hola! My first time sayin high to everyone.
aloha!!
