no you wouldn't be better off dead,take a breather there for a minute & chill,maybe smoke a blunt & try to find some humor here,most are just ribbing you man,and it really isn't meant in a mean way,most here are stoners like you except with a perverted sense of humor,your welcome to join in on the perversion & have fun too,its no different than sitting with your buddy in real life & taking turns with the " you know how I know your gay" kind of fucking around,its no different here.
the mods aren't dicks n most members are cool,but rarely serious,very few super young people here so the humor is harsh but in good spirit,you won't be a noob but for a few weeks/months & you'll see the site differently.